Growing Up
Kapow! My brain just gave me an ass whoopin. This is a good thing though. As a result of said whoopin I realized I’ve been in a funk since…fuck…I can’t remember when it wasn’t there. That’s sad. The first step is admitting there's a problem.
I’m not going to say I’m unhappy. Because I’m not. My life is actually pretty damn good. I love my job, my girlfriend, my friends, my home, my family, and honestly I can say I love myself. I seriously think this is the first time in my life that all of those pieces have been in place at once.
But somewhere along the way I’ve lost a piece of myself, and I think that growing up is the cause. When I was younger, I noticed that most adults were missing something. That “god sized hole” that nothing else can fill. They had big houses with swimming pools. Nice cars. A hot wife and kids that one could be proud of. Their big houses were full of things I hoped to one day own.
As a kid I lacked all of those things, but I had that thing they were missing. A sense of wonderment. Excited about the things to come. Things have come…and all the things that I hated about adults started to creep into my mind. And I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore. I found myself worrying about the temperature on the thermostat. A set bed time so I would be able to deal with issues at work. Am I making enough money? Is the stove on?
The more these things crept in my mind, the less I was a kid…thus the less I was like myself. And now I find myself wondering where I went. Funny thing is, the ass whoopin made me realize that getting that piece of myself back isn’t difficult. I just need to do what I did when I was younger. Call the ones I love when I think about them. Do the random things that pop in my head. Act on inspiration. We’re all capable of more. So let’s do it.
I’m not going to say I’m unhappy. Because I’m not. My life is actually pretty damn good. I love my job, my girlfriend, my friends, my home, my family, and honestly I can say I love myself. I seriously think this is the first time in my life that all of those pieces have been in place at once.
But somewhere along the way I’ve lost a piece of myself, and I think that growing up is the cause. When I was younger, I noticed that most adults were missing something. That “god sized hole” that nothing else can fill. They had big houses with swimming pools. Nice cars. A hot wife and kids that one could be proud of. Their big houses were full of things I hoped to one day own.
As a kid I lacked all of those things, but I had that thing they were missing. A sense of wonderment. Excited about the things to come. Things have come…and all the things that I hated about adults started to creep into my mind. And I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore. I found myself worrying about the temperature on the thermostat. A set bed time so I would be able to deal with issues at work. Am I making enough money? Is the stove on?
The more these things crept in my mind, the less I was a kid…thus the less I was like myself. And now I find myself wondering where I went. Funny thing is, the ass whoopin made me realize that getting that piece of myself back isn’t difficult. I just need to do what I did when I was younger. Call the ones I love when I think about them. Do the random things that pop in my head. Act on inspiration. We’re all capable of more. So let’s do it.