Struggling to find his way out from the suffocating crowd, Mathieu loses track of time. He pushes through, panicked and hasty, and once he is free of them he takes to walking quickly down the streets and away from the main square. His feet carry him back to the inn and their room without thought, and there he puts his instrument in a corner and sags onto a chair, rubbing fisted hands over his face.
(I had 3rd grade today! They were so cute and energetic. XD. And I have the flat to myself the whole weekend.)
Ibelin manages to push his way through the crowds and returns not long after Mathieu, hurt and confused and angry. "What's wrong with you?" he demands as he storms into the room. "What are you so bloody afraid of?"
{Aw. :3 Raquel and I are alone for the weekend because mom and dad are at a hockey tournament with Camille. And I had my friend Eslpeth over tonight and we watched Batman Begins.}
It's the loud, hurt accusation in Ibelin's tone that makes Mathieu freeze where he sits hunched forward on the chair. "...I'm sorry, Ibelin," he says, soft and hushed.
(Batman! Nanananana! I'm just having a long night or playing with my Isabella, and tomorrow Trevor and I are going to browse shops and cook and be lazy asses at my place :D)
The hurt expression makes Ibelin deflate a little, but not much. "I just don't understand," he says, frustrated. "You're so good. Why wouldn't you want to the world to know that?"
{Ooh, ooh, and we went to Target, and I got a Batman pencil pail! :D That sounds awesome. I have to work, boo.}
Mathieu cringes. The hands that lie clasped in his lap clutch one another so tightly that the knuckles turn white. "The stage, I can't go on. I've never performed on stage, it's too...I can't, I'm sorry."
(It's got to be Batman :3 Yeah, we had fun. Now we're making pizza and snickerdoodles.)
"The circus is my family, it's different, and the street...On the street I'm just passing entertainment, something to listen to briefly, but on stage-" He pauses to swallow hard. "Everyone would see me."
(Oh. Oh damn. I know exactly what that's like, since I'm in love with Isabella, who is straight, but how does anyone stop themselves from crushing? Crushing on a straight person is not fun, though, so if there's anything at all you can think of to stop it, you should :<)
"Why is that a bad thing?" Ibelin demands. "Don't you want to be recognized? Don't you want everyone to see how talented you are?"
{I know, it sucks. :< It wasn't hard at first because I knew she had a boyfriend, but then they broke up and now we joke about being married and stuff. I'm trying really hard not to think anything of it, but she's just really cute and nice and funny, and it's hard.}
Mathieu looks up finally. "I just...I just want to play, Ibelin. What if they saw what I am, and I became a burden to my family? I don't want fame, or- I just want to play."
(Everyone should just be born bi-sexual :/ I'm just lucky that Isabella won't let it bother her, because she values me too much for that. I'm clearly having one of my dizzy days, because the world has been spinning the whole day.)
Ibelin makes a frustrated noise and lashes out at the bed, swearing as he hits his hand. "Fine!" he snaps, angry for reasons that he can't explain. "Fine, just sit in here and waste away your talent, then! See what I care!"
He storms off without waiting for an answer, slamming the door behind him.
{I know. It would make everything so much easier. :/ I'll just have to hope that I get over it soon. Oh, I'm sorry, love. That sucks. :< *cuddlecuddle*]
He tries to take a deep breath, but he can't, because his chest is too tight and his heart hurts, and the inexplicable fear that Ibelin will abandon him wells up in him fast, so fast. He is on his feet and running after him a second later, dashing down the hallway.
"Ibelin! Wait- Please, wait!"
The door at the entrance slams behind the other boy as well, and the sound echoes through the room. Mathieu tears it open and bursts outside, looking around wildly for him.
"Ibelin!" he shouts.
And then he's running again, already out of breath from the tightness in his chest, and he hasn't thought through what he's going to say at all when two of his hands close around Ibelin's arm and stop him in his tracks. "Please, stop," he says, very softly.
(It would. These things have a will of their own :< The dizziness cleared up, but it left me pretty useless for the rest of the day.)
Ibelin's brow furrows. "What do you mean, you need me?" he demands. "What do you need me for? We're in the south now, you shouldn't be getting sick anymore. There's no reason for me to stay."
{Um, I'm not sure since we don't actually have it in America either, but they do have it in Britain so I thought maybe they had it in Norway too? What kind of creams/milks do you guys have, because that's very important for the caramels.}
But Mathieu can tell that Ibelin is about to turn away from him and leave, and in a last, frantic attempt to explain himself and to make him stay, he grabs the other boy by the front of his shirt and kisses him.
It's clumsy and not very nice at all, but it feels right.
(Um, there's the sort you use for whipped cream and cake, and a sort that's called coffee cream, and another called food cream, and the latter two have less fat/are thinner than the first one, with coffee cream being slightly thicker than the food one, which is used more for cooking. I don't know how to explain it better. The caramel recipes I've found in Norwegian usually call for a bit of both of the latter two. There's a lot of different sorts of milks, though.)
Ibelin gasps and jerks back, eyes wide with surprise and confusion. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out, and he's left standing there, mouth hanging open stupidly as he attempts to process what just happened.
"You kissed me," he says after several long, tense moments.
{Oh, okay. That should work. I'll send the recipe in a minute. :3}
(I had 3rd grade today! They were so cute and energetic. XD. And I have the flat to myself the whole weekend.)
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{Aw. :3 Raquel and I are alone for the weekend because mom and dad are at a hockey tournament with Camille. And I had my friend Eslpeth over tonight and we watched Batman Begins.}
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(Batman! Nanananana! I'm just having a long night or playing with my Isabella, and tomorrow Trevor and I are going to browse shops and cook and be lazy asses at my place :D)
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{Ooh, ooh, and we went to Target, and I got a Batman pencil pail! :D That sounds awesome. I have to work, boo.}
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(It's got to be Batman :3 Yeah, we had fun. Now we're making pizza and snickerdoodles.)
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{Love, I have a problem. I think I'm beginning to develop a crush on one of my straight female coworkers. .///.}
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(Oh. Oh damn. I know exactly what that's like, since I'm in love with Isabella, who is straight, but how does anyone stop themselves from crushing? Crushing on a straight person is not fun, though, so if there's anything at all you can think of to stop it, you should :<)
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{I know, it sucks. :< It wasn't hard at first because I knew she had a boyfriend, but then they broke up and now we joke about being married and stuff. I'm trying really hard not to think anything of it, but she's just really cute and nice and funny, and it's hard.}
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(Everyone should just be born bi-sexual :/ I'm just lucky that Isabella won't let it bother her, because she values me too much for that. I'm clearly having one of my dizzy days, because the world has been spinning the whole day.)
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He storms off without waiting for an answer, slamming the door behind him.
{I know. It would make everything so much easier. :/ I'll just have to hope that I get over it soon. Oh, I'm sorry, love. That sucks. :< *cuddlecuddle*]
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"Ibelin! Wait- Please, wait!"
The door at the entrance slams behind the other boy as well, and the sound echoes through the room. Mathieu tears it open and bursts outside, looking around wildly for him.
"Ibelin!" he shouts.
And then he's running again, already out of breath from the tightness in his chest, and he hasn't thought through what he's going to say at all when two of his hands close around Ibelin's arm and stop him in his tracks. "Please, stop," he says, very softly.
(It would. These things have a will of their own :< The dizziness cleared up, but it left me pretty useless for the rest of the day.)
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{I'm sorry to hear that. :< But I'm glad you liked your present! ♥ And I can for sure get the recipe! Do you guys have single cream in Norway?}
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He blinks, tries to clear the sudden wetness from his eyes.
"I need you."
(It was delicious. The gingerbread men are gone. But I'm not sure what single cream is, actually. How is it different from regular cream?)
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{Um, I'm not sure since we don't actually have it in America either, but they do have it in Britain so I thought maybe they had it in Norway too? What kind of creams/milks do you guys have, because that's very important for the caramels.}
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But Mathieu can tell that Ibelin is about to turn away from him and leave, and in a last, frantic attempt to explain himself and to make him stay, he grabs the other boy by the front of his shirt and kisses him.
It's clumsy and not very nice at all, but it feels right.
(Um, there's the sort you use for whipped cream and cake, and a sort that's called coffee cream, and another called food cream, and the latter two have less fat/are thinner than the first one, with coffee cream being slightly thicker than the food one, which is used more for cooking. I don't know how to explain it better. The caramel recipes I've found in Norwegian usually call for a bit of both of the latter two. There's a lot of different sorts of milks, though.)
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"You kissed me," he says after several long, tense moments.
{Oh, okay. That should work. I'll send the recipe in a minute. :3}
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