keeping up with the Joneses
cul-de-sac as parking lot
Originally uploaded by Antof9. That expression usually has to do with materialism. In the white bread cookie cutter neighborhood I live in, it also applies to snow shovelling.
For the record: Denver got 2 feet of snow, then another foot, and then another almost-foot within 3 or so weeks. In general, snow in Denver melts within a day or two and requires very little shovelling. However, that's a lot of snow, and we've had several surprisingly cold days. So although all the main roads are clear and dry, and more of it melts each day, the back roads and the cul-de-sac I live on still have a bit of snow on them.
After each storm, most responsible and able-bodied people in our neighborhood are out shovelling their driveways and sidewalks. It's actually kind of fun and almost summer-like in that everyone is out, little kids are helping, dogs are out, everyone helps push cars out of snowbanks, etc. It makes sense to shovel right away, because the snow is lighter, ice hasn't formed, and if you do shovel right away, your driveway will be dry within a couple of hours.
So we have a new neighbor -- let's call him Lazy Kayaker. Why "Kayaker"? Because ever since he moved in, he's had a kayak on top of his minivan. And we're quite sure he's never used it. But that's another story. In the last month, he's finally removed it but the "holder" is still on his vehicle. It's like a luggage rack or a bike rack, but it's so entertaining, because he is so not a wilderness-type guy. Anyway, he has a huge 3-car garage that he doesn't park in (possibly because the kayak rack is too high?) and a very wide 3-car driveway he doesn't park in. We have no idea why not. In general, he parks on the street in front of his house. Of course he has every right to do this; it's just confusing when he has so much space. And of course, we're a bit jealous, being on the apex (?) of the cul-de-sac and having the least amount of "guest" parking of anyone on the block.
Anyway, this pic was taken the day after the first snow. Shortly after this shot, everyone was out shovelling. On the entire block, he's the only one who didn't shovel anything. Not any of his driveway and not any of his sidewalk. He's not parking quite so far out in the middle of the road now, but he is still parking on the "street", and because of the snow, he parks about 6 feet from the curb. And crooked. The one tiny space that was cleared in his driveway was done by a woman (we're not sure if she's a nanny, housekeeper or ex-wife) and his 7-8 year old son. She sometimes parks her car there. Since his driveway is now unusable, his vehicle and those of anyone visiting him are totally encroaching on the actual driving area of the street! It's nuts, and bugs me more and more every time I glance out the window.
Anyway, this morning I noticed he was parked out in the middle even more than usual, and in my head I was annoyed. So when wandererjen emailed me with a subject line of "I'm bored" and this message: Has anything entertaining happened to you this morning? , I replied: we're thinking of leaving an anonymous note on Lazy Kayaker's minivan, saying:
This is not a parking space (the middle of the road, that is). Shovel your more-than-3-car-wide driveway, lazy ass bitch, and park in it!please note: I would never actually do this. You know that, right?
By the way, anyone who isn't able-bodied gets help from the other neighbors. That's just what they do. I like that :)
It was on the news last night that people are getting tickets for not shovelling their sidewalks.
This entry made me realize I could write a whole entry about how to write out "joneses".