Something's Rotten in Louisville, Kentucky
Brownie
Originally uploaded by Antof9. I am seriously concerned about the state of the Girl Scouts in the U.S. (and when did they stop being the "Girl Scouts of America", anyway?). You need only sample a recent batch of the famous cookies to understand my concern.
For years, I was a Thin Mints aficionado, purchasing them at every chance. When nieces became "of age", it was a great excuse to buy even more. I must support the family, after all. But as time passed, I became disillusioned with the Thin Mint, and even the popular pastime of freezing didn't really do much to excite me.
I switched my loyalties to the Trefoil -- touted as "Old Fashioned Shortbread" (no hyphen -- that should have been my first clue that I'd eventually become disappointed). They're buttery, crunchy, and go with a variety of drinks, hot or cold. And so I purchased boxes of Trefoils, year after year, much to the demise of my derriere.
Fast forward to the Fall of 2006, and I use "fall" as in "of an Empire". With 2 nieces and a neighbor hawking the foodstuffs, I once again place orders. There seems to be an increase in peanut-butter flavored offerings, much to the delight of Unk. For myself, I order one lowly box of Trefoils: Old Fashioned Shortbread. They arrive, and I force myself not to jump into them immediately. I should wait for a special occasion, or perhaps one where I can work out for 5 hours after consuming the entire box. Or something.
I choose the time carefully. It is the weekend after American Thanksgiving. Seems appropriate, no? I am thankful for these cookies, after all. It is Friday night. We are watching Season Three of the tv show 24, and well, being veritable couch potatoes. I believe this to be an entirely appropriate time to enjoy these cookies.
I make a pot of tea and open the box. Ah yes, I reminisce; they come in two plastic "sleeves". I take one sleeve to the couch, fully intending to eat the entire thing (don't judge me; you would too if you didn't have children or dogs nearby, expecting you to share). Opening the sleeve, I take out the first one and dip it ever so briefly into my tea (dunking will earn you a bunch of cookie crumbs in the bottom of your cup). I take a bite, but it's not quite what I expected. Hmmm ... perhaps I shouldn't have used Peppermint tea -- another flavor might have been better. No matter, I can eat them sans dunking. So I eat another -- "dry" -- and it still doesn't taste quite right. Perhaps I still have other flavors in my mouth -- the tea, dinner, whatever. So I eat another cookie. By now I should have all cookie in my mouth, right? But the cookie still doesn't taste right. I go to the kitchen to drink a glass of water. I put another cookie in my mouth, and to my dismay, these are not the same cookies!
They are infinitesimally shorter (narrower?), to start. But beyond that, they just don't have the same buttery yumminess of years past. Can my taste buds be altered in a year's time? I think not. I believe there may be blight in the manufacturing plants in Louisville, Kentucky. Or something. Because something is definitely wrong with my shortbread, and it's anything but Old Fashioned. In fact, I fear it's had all trans-fats removed. Or something. Because they do not taste right. In fact, they taste ... quite ... wrong.
I fear for the future of the Girl Scouts of the U.S.A.
While we're at it, can someone explain why the Brownies don't sell brownies?
That's an 8 year old Ant, in Brownie uniform in October of 1974. Guess why this picture was taken? For my orthodontist, before he started working on my teeth :)