Deutsche Gedanken
GFI, at a fab coffee shop
Originally uploaded by Antof9. (that's supposed to say "German thoughts")
I'm both reminiscing and looking ahead. We went to Germany to volunteer at a conference last March, and I'm realizing I never blogged (everything I wanted to) about it. And now we're getting ready for another, and my thoughts are looking forward to this weekend.
So let me just say, for the record (and because I'd like to record my thoughts *somewhere*:
- gir1fromipanema (pictured here) was such a delight to meet! She spent an entire afternoon (was it afternoon? I remember being very jet-lagged!) walking all over Erfurt with me. Seriously -- if you get a chance to go there, take the GFI Walking Tour -- I highly recommend it! She was charming and funny and friendly, and, as is often the case with my "friends from foreign", spoke my language the entire time. What a gracious host she was, and the coffee was yummy too! She even brought a flower for my hotel room (and helped me get a vase from the hotel for it, too!) -- it was all so friendly and welcoming, I'm smiling again just thinking about it.
- Chuffed! I'd been interacting with the German Lufthansa flight attendant in German, since he initially addressed me in German and I understood him, so I didn't feel a need at any point to say, "I'm an American and I normally speak English." But finally came a point when his question exceeded my grasp of the language, and I had to apologize. He was handing out customs forms for re-entry, and he was trying to decide which form to give us. Since I didn't know exactly what he was asking, I said, "I'm sorry -- I don't understand." (in English -- I just this minute realized I could have actually said that in German too) In astonishment, he said, "You're not an American! I thought you were Swiss!" Well, I have to tell you, I was mighty proud :)
- Same flight: I went to the bathroom and it was clear the previous passenger had been smoking in there. That scared me, and of course I didn't want the next person thinking *I* was smoking in there, so I found a flight attendant. Well! Let me tell you, they take that VERY SERIOUSLY! She immediately grabbed some gloves and made me show her which one. She was on her knees pulling the trash can out of its cubby hole faster than it's taking me to type this sentence. It's a seriously big deal, and of course she was concerned that it might still be burning, which could be. . .well, disastrous. About an hour later, several flight attendants presented me and Unk with a bottle of champagne and a bag of Twix candy bars (that kind of cracked me up, but it was the thought that counted!). They couldn't thank me enough times and told me how important it was, and thanked me again. Basically, they gushed more than any German, Dutch or Swiss people I've ever met in my entire life :)
- Although the conference we volunteered at was one we've done several times, the person who lead the team was new. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say it was obvious that no one had been given the "don't draw attention to your American-ness" speech. I was surprised and dismayed. Before, there has been an obligatory speech or email about not drawing attention to yourself, t-shirts with flags, being gracious to the people in the country you're visiting, etc., etc. This was not the case this time, up to and including the leader wearing (what I thought inappropriate) camouflage pants, among other things. Both Unk and I were pretty concerned about this, even to the point of reconsidering if we were going to go this time. There were other reasons, but this was a big one. I'm happy to report it's been addressed for the upcoming trip, and I'm so proud of how Unk handled it that I'll post that below behind the cut.
So anyway, we're headed back to Bremen, this time, and here's the cool thing! I'll finally get to meet BookCrossers Moem and Stoneshop! I'll be honest, it's Moem I really want to meet, because she and I have been BC friends since almost the beginning. Stoneshop is a bonus :) (for readers who don't know, my dad was Dutch, and the Dutch BookCrossers hold a special place in my heart)
So.. . it's been bothering me for months. Months! This whole flag-wearing, camo-pants-disrespecting-the-culture thing. It certainly wasn't the whole team -- by a long shot -- but it was enough to really bother me. I've been writing and re-writing an email in my head (and sometimes online) to the leader, talking about what I believe to be a very serious topic and something I feel very passionate about.
However, I happen to know this about myself: when I feel righteous indignation about something, I tend to feel more justified using sarcasm, harsher language, superior-sounding phrases, etc. In other words, I can come off kind of bitchy, even if my heart is in the right place. So the reason I never sent any of those emails was because I knew they were really preachy and kind of mean and the message itself might be missed because my tone would overpower it.
Happily, we got a note recently from the guy who is leading this trip (a different guy), and he made this comment in his note about the "dress code": Germans can spot an American a mile away because of their white tennis shoes...just a suggestion Personally, I found this humorous, as I never wear white tennis shoes! I never wear tennis shoes at all, unless I'm working out :)
So here's the thing -- this leader is a different guy, and many of the people going have been on previous trips. But the "other" leader from the March trip will also be there, leading another team. So the concern was still on my mind.
Anyway, Unk. . .my darling Unk, took immediate advantage of the situation and wrote such a nice, light-hearted email that totally got the point across, but totally didn't sound offensive that I was relieved beyond measure, and so proud of him, I thought I'd share it here.
Ah yeah. Nice work (Leader). Lookin forward to serving with you and the rest of the team. Should be great. We have confidence in you as the dude running point, so no worries man.
Just wondering if you’ve had prior meetings with all the volunteers and such for what is appropriate dress from a cultural perspective? I noted your “white tennis shoes” comment which is good, but has there been any talk? I ask because when Ant and I went to Germany this past spring, it was clearly not communicated, as some of the volunteers and leaders were wearing stuff that we felt was insensitive and inappropriate. Specifically, big American flags, military clothing and other stuff. Some people just don’t understand the cultures we go into and don’t actually intend to offend. With that, there’s also the way people communicate to our German friends/workers, volume of crowds in public areas, etc, but that’s a separate topic.
Anyway, may already be a covered issue, but would hate for ignorance to take away from the work we hope to do.
So there you have it. I worry about something for months and months and months and can't come up with anything that sounds remotely friendly and not like I'm lecturing someone. Unk whips out a short message that has just the right tone, says the right things and covers all the bases, and no one's feelings are hurt, appropriate action will be taken, and all is good.
You see why I love this man?
Anyway, if you don't see me much in the next week or so, it's because I'll be seeing the Bremen Town Musicians in the city where Beck's beer is brewed :)