kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
lyrics - prelude 12/21
so I finally got the guts to ask for help. I will be seeing a psychologist soon and I expressed my troubles to my ob/gyn and he re-prescribed me Prozac. I've had that in the past and it worked, so I'm going to try it again. Syc has a new girlfriend and they are actually sleeping together right now in his room. On Sunday night I snapped, I can't take it anymore. So that's when I called my gyn and asked for anti-depressants. I just got percancer cells removed from my cervix and I was afraid I was infected bc I was running fever yesterday.
I'm missing work and I don't care. I Just want all my problems to go away, and if I'm at work I'm not with my baby girl and she makes everything better. Syc doesn't care about me, he thinks I should be working -yeah we know why. I'm just so alone and so lost and so confused. I don't want company, I don't even care about life right now.
My dreams have been honestly guiding me. the past 3 nights i have obeyed my dreams. Saturday night i cried myself to sleep and begged God for peace of mind. My dream was a female psychologist who told me i was gay. good enuff. the next night i dreamed of my fever and checked it and it was true and last night i dreamed i was getting advice from a friend and she sed it was ok to tell your superviser i was staying out another day.
my baby is crying i gotta go