i don't want to sleep alone
but it looks like i will be in the very near fucking future. so my baby's daddy and i have like "officially" split up. well, i had my baby ASHLEA NOEL and she's very pretty and she keeps me company, well bc if you keep up with my previous journals, no one else cares to. the good thing is we've renewed our promise to live together, which we promised each other before we had sex, the exact words were "even if we break up we will still live together" so we will and it might be painful for me to see him sleeping with someone else, but i'll have my daughter. i didn't know that i thought i didn't want my child to be my companion, but my mate... is that ok? is it ok for my daughter to be my companion? omg i just can't believe i am actually part of mainstream society that is single fucking parents/divorced. i don't know how a child of divorced parents will grow up, i am so lost on how she will develop seeing her mama and daddy together, but daddy has someone else that is special to him (I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND!!!) and i want to cry every second of the day. but i believe that i was brought up to believe in a family that stuck together (my parents believe it was a mistake for them to get married but stayed together for the kids they told me). maybe if my parents didn't stick together i wouldn't be so fucked up. i can not be opposed to what is happening, i chose a life with him, i love him like a child of mine (that is one good thing i could find a real boyfriend and not have to take care of him, i'll find someone who could take care of me, and my daughter and i can talk about boys, hehe, i'm going to try to use this time to get girly and focus on my self and my interests, so i will be interesting and love myself, and always be in action and never bored!) i bought the ticket, now i'll take the ride.