and now, frustration
I've been doing increasingly better every day since the surgery 1 week ago. I've been able to do more things for longer and have to rest less as a result. My glasses still bother me, they still feel too strong, so I go without them when seeing isn't crucial (eg riding in the car, walking around the house, or typing). I don't like that i can't rub them when they get achy or tired, because it always felt so good to do so, so relieving, but the doc said no, so no.
I drove today, the whole .75 mi to & from the rec center, where I also finally got to exercise again. Since the race in late April, my fitness has severely dropped, thanks to school assignments, stress from the school assignments, cranked-up activity during the final days at the nursing home, and then the surgery. I didn't really expect eye surgery to affect my general well-being, but it has, and I should've known better, being in the rehab field and all.
My calves & knees have been aching the last few days, cramps and aches and general reminders of what I used to do so easily. Plus I've been having trouble falling asleep again, classic indicator I'm not doing enough during the day. So I finally made it to the gym, with the intent to just do some light cardio, enough to get my legs moving and remind them how to move and some light arms machines as well.
the exercise itself was fine, but I started getting a headache, despite easing up so much I was breathing normally, and decided to end it. This part is miserable. It's like starting at the beginning -- it's worse, actually, because I don't have that hopeful wonderment of "what can I accomplish?" but that painful nostalgia of "this is what I had done and how far I've fallen." It's distressing. So I dropped the idea of doing anything with my arms, and came home to a snack of cheese & granola bars. Yum :)
I'm frustrated because the surgeon said I'd be fine again after about a week or so. that my vision wouldn't really change, and that I should be able to handle these glasses until I can get new ones in about 6 wks or so. I'm frustrated because I expected to heal faster than this, and while I'm sure I'm doing quite well, it's not fast enough. My eyes don't have their full range of motion, I have to close them whenever I turn my head, and they dont' move as fast as they could. When I drive or sit as passenger or walk or do anything, it's difficult to focus anywhere specifically rather than just receive visual input and identify it. I don't want Tony to have to leave work early to take me to my follow-up appointment tomorrow, but I also don't feel entirely safe driving busy multi-road intersections where you have to pay close attention to 1200 things at once in all directions.
But he'll do it, and he'll be happy to do it because he'd rather I be safe than attempt something with any risk. And maybe also to leave work early :) I just have to remember what I told post-surgical clients 2 weeks ago when they voiced their frustrations with their limitations and impairments: that these things will happen, I will recover in due time, and I just need to work safely within my limits and practice what I can.
I drove today, the whole .75 mi to & from the rec center, where I also finally got to exercise again. Since the race in late April, my fitness has severely dropped, thanks to school assignments, stress from the school assignments, cranked-up activity during the final days at the nursing home, and then the surgery. I didn't really expect eye surgery to affect my general well-being, but it has, and I should've known better, being in the rehab field and all.
My calves & knees have been aching the last few days, cramps and aches and general reminders of what I used to do so easily. Plus I've been having trouble falling asleep again, classic indicator I'm not doing enough during the day. So I finally made it to the gym, with the intent to just do some light cardio, enough to get my legs moving and remind them how to move and some light arms machines as well.
the exercise itself was fine, but I started getting a headache, despite easing up so much I was breathing normally, and decided to end it. This part is miserable. It's like starting at the beginning -- it's worse, actually, because I don't have that hopeful wonderment of "what can I accomplish?" but that painful nostalgia of "this is what I had done and how far I've fallen." It's distressing. So I dropped the idea of doing anything with my arms, and came home to a snack of cheese & granola bars. Yum :)
I'm frustrated because the surgeon said I'd be fine again after about a week or so. that my vision wouldn't really change, and that I should be able to handle these glasses until I can get new ones in about 6 wks or so. I'm frustrated because I expected to heal faster than this, and while I'm sure I'm doing quite well, it's not fast enough. My eyes don't have their full range of motion, I have to close them whenever I turn my head, and they dont' move as fast as they could. When I drive or sit as passenger or walk or do anything, it's difficult to focus anywhere specifically rather than just receive visual input and identify it. I don't want Tony to have to leave work early to take me to my follow-up appointment tomorrow, but I also don't feel entirely safe driving busy multi-road intersections where you have to pay close attention to 1200 things at once in all directions.
But he'll do it, and he'll be happy to do it because he'd rather I be safe than attempt something with any risk. And maybe also to leave work early :) I just have to remember what I told post-surgical clients 2 weeks ago when they voiced their frustrations with their limitations and impairments: that these things will happen, I will recover in due time, and I just need to work safely within my limits and practice what I can.