Post con entry
So much going on, I don't even know where to start. The con was awesome, I enjoyed it a lot. I find that at this point in time, I'm not suffering from a Con-over but more of a Sarah-over. I wish I could just move and live next to her or something, or had a teleportation machine.
I don't know what's happening. Things had been going really well, with life in general, and now I'm not so sure. Nothing's blown up or dramatically altered my life or anything, but everything's leaning on the fence, and could fall eithier way.
Favorite part of the con? Dan's second night worship. I find that my favorite con worships are the ones where I end up crying. It's relieving and theraputic. It helped me begin to conquer something inside myself, and be able to expose my true thoughts and feelings. After I said my second statement at the worship, my mind and body just went completely numb. I've never shared anything like that with anyone, and I felt both absolutly terrified and minorly relieved. It was probably one of the scariest moments in my life, I don't know why, but I just became absolutly afraid, of what I don't know, and almost felt like running away from everyone. It was a relievingly shocking feeling.
For anyone who was at the worship, I just want to let you know that there's no need to worry whatsoever. Sarah, I espicially want to make this clear to you: What goes on in my mind is not there for reasons of sadness, depression or as a response to the events in my life, and I would never act on them or be compelled to do what I envision in my mind.
Oh Sarah, I hope everything can work out. Whatever you decide, know that I'm always still your friend, and in the case of eithier descision, things will be difficult at first. If yes, then we will have to deal with distance. If no then we will have to deal with putting our emotions away so we can get on with the friendship(I prefer the yes part :p), but I have full confidence that, as a couple or not, we can make it through.
With that said, I am eagerly awaiting your call.
Other highlights of the con?
-Watching TV while it was not on and envisioning images/a show of my life/the con across the screen. I did that for like an hour and it rocked. I guess that's what not sleeping when you should be sleeping will do to you.
-Not winning SAC. No...wait...that sucked. But I'm still on the DYC, and I get to talk to the district board and all that, so that will be a new experience.
-Actually smoking LESS than I would had I stayed home...weird...
-Deciding that the NH/VT District takes immense precidence over my MBD not-district. Massive out, Adventure con in.
-Observing how well everyone handled the potentially bad situations that presented themselves, thus showing the true leaders and the strength of our community.
-My talk with Adam in the elevator.
-Meeting some awesome new people.
-Listening to crazy, drunk ten year old kids running around the neighborhood.
-Observing a rave move from one place to another. They were in an apartment by the church, and left with the lights, glow sticks and baloons full of NOS.
-The strengthening of old bonds with other conferees. I got the privalege of having lengthy discussions with Sugar Crotch and Messy, who will be leaving soon. WHY G-DAMNIT!?!?!?! Those two people are so amazing, and I have so much admiration for them. It will pain me to see them go.
-Sarah. Kisses, hugs, holding hands, looking into eachother's eyes, cuddling, bantering, talking on cell phones, watching you while you slept(not in the creepy pervert way), trying to find out what you were thinking, wishing you felt better, knowing that you care, just watching how you talk and operate with people and observing how much you kick ass. You are truly amazing, wonderful, splendid, beautiful, gorgeous and unserpassable in any of these categories.
-Having a wonderful discussion with Jake and Cassandra.
-Touch group. I really liked our touch group a lot, and I had a fun time.
-BUTTONS!!!!!!! 23 DOLLARS WORTH OF BUTTONS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
-The con atmosphere, even though it didn't feel like a con at first to me.
-Metting Sarah's friend Liz.
-Chilling with our exclusive, but eager to be inclusive, clique of smokers.
-Seeing all the amazing new youth join the DYC. I'm really psyched.
-Talking to people in general, and being reminded how much U.U.s rock. Not just U.U.s but U.s and con kids in general.
-Being able to get out of Bradford for a weekend.
-Again, the worship on the second night.
-Taking time to sit by myself a lot and think. I did a lot of thinking this con, from my emotions, to other's emotions and situations, to even planning out some worships that I can do at any time.
-Realizing that, although a few people are leaving, a lot of awesome people are staying. This makes me a little brighter.
-The park.
-Storming the 7 11 and having the manager be a dick.
-Lastly, but not leastly, con closure. I don't really enjoy Mecca all that much, because it still feels like con to me. I hate it when a con ends, but I'd rather have it "con's over." then "con's a little over but not really" and then drag out as I sit there and am sad that I will have to leave eventually anyway.
I hope everyone else had a bitching con, and actually has the patience and time to read this post.
My parents are really awesome, I love them so much.
See you all the next time around, and some of you at the upcoming meeting.
Love, Big Eric
*Dynamic in the sense that there are a billion emotions running through my mind at this time.
I don't know what's happening. Things had been going really well, with life in general, and now I'm not so sure. Nothing's blown up or dramatically altered my life or anything, but everything's leaning on the fence, and could fall eithier way.
Favorite part of the con? Dan's second night worship. I find that my favorite con worships are the ones where I end up crying. It's relieving and theraputic. It helped me begin to conquer something inside myself, and be able to expose my true thoughts and feelings. After I said my second statement at the worship, my mind and body just went completely numb. I've never shared anything like that with anyone, and I felt both absolutly terrified and minorly relieved. It was probably one of the scariest moments in my life, I don't know why, but I just became absolutly afraid, of what I don't know, and almost felt like running away from everyone. It was a relievingly shocking feeling.
For anyone who was at the worship, I just want to let you know that there's no need to worry whatsoever. Sarah, I espicially want to make this clear to you: What goes on in my mind is not there for reasons of sadness, depression or as a response to the events in my life, and I would never act on them or be compelled to do what I envision in my mind.
Oh Sarah, I hope everything can work out. Whatever you decide, know that I'm always still your friend, and in the case of eithier descision, things will be difficult at first. If yes, then we will have to deal with distance. If no then we will have to deal with putting our emotions away so we can get on with the friendship(I prefer the yes part :p), but I have full confidence that, as a couple or not, we can make it through.
With that said, I am eagerly awaiting your call.
Other highlights of the con?
-Watching TV while it was not on and envisioning images/a show of my life/the con across the screen. I did that for like an hour and it rocked. I guess that's what not sleeping when you should be sleeping will do to you.
-Not winning SAC. No...wait...that sucked. But I'm still on the DYC, and I get to talk to the district board and all that, so that will be a new experience.
-Actually smoking LESS than I would had I stayed home...weird...
-Deciding that the NH/VT District takes immense precidence over my MBD not-district. Massive out, Adventure con in.
-Observing how well everyone handled the potentially bad situations that presented themselves, thus showing the true leaders and the strength of our community.
-My talk with Adam in the elevator.
-Meeting some awesome new people.
-Listening to crazy, drunk ten year old kids running around the neighborhood.
-Observing a rave move from one place to another. They were in an apartment by the church, and left with the lights, glow sticks and baloons full of NOS.
-The strengthening of old bonds with other conferees. I got the privalege of having lengthy discussions with Sugar Crotch and Messy, who will be leaving soon. WHY G-DAMNIT!?!?!?! Those two people are so amazing, and I have so much admiration for them. It will pain me to see them go.
-Sarah. Kisses, hugs, holding hands, looking into eachother's eyes, cuddling, bantering, talking on cell phones, watching you while you slept(not in the creepy pervert way), trying to find out what you were thinking, wishing you felt better, knowing that you care, just watching how you talk and operate with people and observing how much you kick ass. You are truly amazing, wonderful, splendid, beautiful, gorgeous and unserpassable in any of these categories.
-Having a wonderful discussion with Jake and Cassandra.
-Touch group. I really liked our touch group a lot, and I had a fun time.
-BUTTONS!!!!!!! 23 DOLLARS WORTH OF BUTTONS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
-The con atmosphere, even though it didn't feel like a con at first to me.
-Metting Sarah's friend Liz.
-Chilling with our exclusive, but eager to be inclusive, clique of smokers.
-Seeing all the amazing new youth join the DYC. I'm really psyched.
-Talking to people in general, and being reminded how much U.U.s rock. Not just U.U.s but U.s and con kids in general.
-Being able to get out of Bradford for a weekend.
-Again, the worship on the second night.
-Taking time to sit by myself a lot and think. I did a lot of thinking this con, from my emotions, to other's emotions and situations, to even planning out some worships that I can do at any time.
-Realizing that, although a few people are leaving, a lot of awesome people are staying. This makes me a little brighter.
-The park.
-Storming the 7 11 and having the manager be a dick.
-Lastly, but not leastly, con closure. I don't really enjoy Mecca all that much, because it still feels like con to me. I hate it when a con ends, but I'd rather have it "con's over." then "con's a little over but not really" and then drag out as I sit there and am sad that I will have to leave eventually anyway.
I hope everyone else had a bitching con, and actually has the patience and time to read this post.
My parents are really awesome, I love them so much.
See you all the next time around, and some of you at the upcoming meeting.
Love, Big Eric
*Dynamic in the sense that there are a billion emotions running through my mind at this time.