Sunday Sermonette: Now Boarding

[bill_sheehan]

Sooner or later, any conversation about religion comes down to faith. Faith is a virtue. Without faith, it is impossible to be saved. Church leaders and saints are praised for their great and unshakeable faith. The apostle who required proof is disparaged as “Doubting Thomas.” Jesus told him, “blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have

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[skittish_derby]

I just said farewell to my bible thumping dad who finally came to visit us for the first time in 5 years. I told myself, don't engage, don't engage. But he kept acting all sanctimonious and using words that I could tell he didn't know the meaning of, because he never thought of it. Finally he condemned all of the Catholic church because something about horse leading the cart or some such metaphor he used.

And I engaged with him last night in a torrid argument about ALL of this, I finally got to tell him why I rejected his belief systems, and why I think they are toxic. I told him about my morality, and about how I would be happy to let him believe what he does if it didn't keep infringing on science and people who are different from his ilk.

Nothing changed. He still firmly believes that 99 percent of people living today and have lived are going to hell, and I still believe that we make our own hell while we're here if we don't treat others with kindness and that is all that there is. You know, we all want essentially the same thing-- for everyone to be nice to each other. So what difference does it make. Apparently all the difference in the world.

How is any of this productive? These conversations go nowhere. He's dismayed because I once again rejected his garbage. And I'm dismayed because while what I said was logical and he agreed with a lot of it, he's going home to his tiny little town where he is never actually challenged by any of what anyone says. Where he only reads opinions and articles he agrees with and won't go outside himself to learn what the other side actually thinks.

Sorry to dump on you. I feel so rotten right now. I feel embarrassed. I feel like it was a waste and I alienated him for no good reason. We spent a day and a half together nicely, but the last few hours were contentious. How do you get along with people who voted Trump?

How do you fight for people to be good and reasonable, when through their actions, they prove so ugly and illogical. You know, without cutting them out of your life?

Ugh.

[bill_sheehan]

I change the subject.

I had a conversation with my barber the day before the election. We talked about the coming election, and neither of us gave the slightest hint as to which candidate we favored.

My parents are very devout Catholics. They're both octogenarians. I'm much too old to entertain the vain notion that they should love me for who I really am, and I certainly have no need of their approval. When we get together, we talk about something other than religion, politics, human sexuality, etc. This doesn't mean they don't bring it up; I just deflect and change the subject. It's how we get along. They somehow managed to visit my brother and his husband, who he's been with for 20 years, without ever really acknowledging their relationship or what he does for a living (he's a female impersonator).

My wife and I are retired, but she spent her career working with lawyers in a major international firm. Some of these people are very difficult to get along with, but her theory is that she only had to find one thing to like about them. Just one thing. Oh, Mr. Angry McNasty has a portrait of himself with an Irish Wolfhound at his feet. Does he like dogs? There's the one thing.

Sometimes that's all you've got.