I dont feel the eb and flow rite now

[antistructure]

its when I dont feel it, I feel like Ive lost connection with it, thats when I start to panic, when everything feels like its slowing down, not so I can see the intricate beauty but rather as if a viscous fluid poured over the very gears of life ... slowing it all to a crawl, ... and in an ironic turn I also feel as if time is simply running out, im getting older, and my life is ... just is.

im not content to 'just live' .. not anymore