(no subject)
do you ever wish you could change someone's first impression of you?
i've been getting a lot of mixed feelings about a lot of stuff recently and a lot of people wanting a variety of different things from me most of which i am not inclined to provide
sometimes i wish i could understand how other people think because sometimes somedays the way i think makes it incredibly hard to even try to get out of bed no less do something with my life
and i am remembering now how in high school i used to think "i want you to want me" now i find myself saying "i only know when they want me"
i used to be ignored tollerated just flying under the radar no one knowing i existed and now i feel that people are forced to egnknowlege my existance on a regular basis and i just want to be invisible again
and i find this longing strange and ubsurd
i just wish i was better at this thing we call life
i just miss having problems so simple that i could voice them without worry of offending or without actually being the bad guy
which by the way i am
i feel like my life is due for renovation
but i guess that happens every 2 to 3 years i go through an angsty crisis where i throw everything out and start again
maybe ill make it through another year before i do
maybe i wont
i think more than anything i miss my ignorance and the ignoarance of those around me
nothing is quite as terribly as knowing
i've been getting a lot of mixed feelings about a lot of stuff recently and a lot of people wanting a variety of different things from me most of which i am not inclined to provide
sometimes i wish i could understand how other people think because sometimes somedays the way i think makes it incredibly hard to even try to get out of bed no less do something with my life
and i am remembering now how in high school i used to think "i want you to want me" now i find myself saying "i only know when they want me"
i used to be ignored tollerated just flying under the radar no one knowing i existed and now i feel that people are forced to egnknowlege my existance on a regular basis and i just want to be invisible again
and i find this longing strange and ubsurd
i just wish i was better at this thing we call life
i just miss having problems so simple that i could voice them without worry of offending or without actually being the bad guy
which by the way i am
i feel like my life is due for renovation
but i guess that happens every 2 to 3 years i go through an angsty crisis where i throw everything out and start again
maybe ill make it through another year before i do
maybe i wont
i think more than anything i miss my ignorance and the ignoarance of those around me
nothing is quite as terribly as knowing