[fanmix] chelseaverse - the movement and the spin
Notes: Here we go with the first of three four short mixes that still managed to consume my brain and my time this past week month and a half [hollow laughter]. This one focuses on Patrick's relationship with Jonny in empathapathique's "Running Out of Air" and kind of goes through the events of Madison. I totally cheated and stole some details from what Patrick mentions in "Chelsea, Chelsea, I Believe."
Basically, this series gave me a lot of thoughts and a lot of feelings and this was a way to vent them that didn't involve just staring at the ceiling upset. This mix might not work perfectly for you or your interpretations of this series, and that's okay! If you want, I am more than willing to discuss these song choices in the comments.
This mix can more or less be separated into four couplets: being in love, April 23, Madison, and recovering. Erm, hopefully it makes sense? "Wide Awake" is a little more empowering than I'm using it as, but whatever. Technically, "Thinking of You" is a total kiss-off, but whenever I hear it I think of Pat in those first few days after he bolted for Boston, full of hurt and anger at Jonny. So sure, Ke$ha meant it as a permanent "fuck you", but in this context it feels like a "fuck you I don't care (except I do)." THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING FOR, ANYWAY.
Also, I encourage everyone to make a fanmix for Chelsea!verse, it's still ungodly amounts of fun despite my epic frustrations wrangling these mixes together. (And, y'know, I want to feel all the feels.) Staygold-kanerboy on tumblr has already created a most excellent one that you should all listen to and cry with me over.
One last thing, I sincerely apologize for not including covers. Photoshop and I, we're not friends. The 8tracks 'cover' is just me putting a photo (filched from social media, I think monalisamadhatters first posted it to tumblr) to fulfill that website's publishing requirements. I didn't edit it or anything. Feel free to imagine a bitching cover, though.
AND NOW:
His chest is tight and all of a sudden, he can't even
look at Jonny, or he thinks he might explode.
CONSEQUENCE (THE NOTWIST COVER) - THETROGLO
You're the color
You're the movement and the spin
A few months in, Pat's pathetic enough to start hoping for a drunken
hook-up. Just once. Maybe then Jonny would like, get hooked
on Patrick's dick. Keep coming back to him. Maybe Jonny
would want to keep him; take Patrick home.
GIVE ME LOVE - Ed Sheeran
Give me love like never before
'Cause lately I've been craving more
And it's been a while
But I still feel the same
“But we’re here.’ Patrick didn’t even know what
that was supposed to mean. ‘We’ve finally… and you-’
Patrick rolled, his body landing half atop of Jon’s.
Jon accepted his weight easily, his hands
finding Patrick’s hips, their bodies fitting together perfect.
HERE IN YOUR ARMS (HELLOGOODBYE COVER) - Samuel & Kristin
I like when you sleep
When you sleep next to me
I like when you sleep here
A few hours later, Patrick wakes up alone.
....
He has a key to Jonny’s place, is out the door
before he can even wonder, think anything other
than a mantra of Jonny’s name.
That’s the place where Patrick is, well-fucked-
in more ways than one.
WIDE AWAKE - KATY PERRY
Yeah I was in the dark
I was fallin' hard with an open heart
How could I read the stars so wrong?
So, again: fuck this. And fuck Jonny.
...
Pat grins, even though it feels like his heart is breaking
in two. "Make up your motherfucking couch, man.
I'll be there tomorrow afternoon."
THINKING OF YOU - KE$HA
Found out you're full of it
I'm over it
So suck my dick
He was a fucking mess and it was all over the web, and his sisters
were calling him crying, his mom leaving him voice messages:
'I didn't raise you to be this sort of kid.'
THEY LOOKED LIKE STRONG HANDS - BAYSIDE
Storming stages and stereos
From here to there
Trying to prove that I belong
Trying to win approval from people I don't know
He hasn't talked to Jonny, really. He's got too much, feels too full--alcohol
and all the bad things, emotions still swelling within him,
angry and hurt, raw and used.
LOVE IS A LASERQUEST - ARCTIC MONKEYS
And when I'm hanging on
By the rings around my eyes
And I convince myself I need another
For a minute it gets easier
To pretend that you were just some lover
Pat will call, eventually. At the end of the summer, when he's okay.
EXPLOSIONS - ELLIE GOULDING
Now everything you own
Is falling from the sky in pieces
So watch them fall with you in slow motion
I pray that you'll find peace of mind
And I'll find you another time
I'll love you another time
on 8tracks
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