The Top Ten Said Bookisms in Eragon
As we all know, Christopher Paolini has a bad case of Thesaurus Syndrome. One of his most noticeable symptoms thereof is a tendency to avoid the word "said." This is a pretty common amateur mistake: the novice author, hoping to vary up their word choice, inserts a lot of different words into their dialogue tags so that they won't get repetitive. Unfortunately, that's not quite how dialogue tags work. "Said" in a dialogue tag barely registers with the reader at all; it merely serves to show the reader who is speaking. If the verbs are changed to draw attention to the variation in prose, all that does is detract from the story.
There are, of course, some circumstances where unconventional verbs will benefit your dialogue. If the character's tone isn't obvious from or outright contradicts their words, you'll want to put it in: for example, "'I love action movies,' he mumbled". I'm sure at least some of Paolini's bookisms are appropriate for the situation. However, as we know from the memetic "'Sorry,' apologized Brom," a good many of them aren't.
So I went through and counted all the weird verbs in the Cycle, and will be going through them book by book. To begin, let's check out the top ten most commonly used dialogue verbs (excluding "said," "asked," and "thought") in Eragon.
The Top Ten Said Bookisms in Eragon
#10: Three-way tie: "Answered," "Stated," and "Whispered" (14 uses each)
Of these three, only "whispered" is forgivable in my eyes. Volume is a perfectly legitimate thing to point out in a dialogue tag. "Answered" and "stated," however, are tags I prefer to avoid. "Answered" usually seems redundant, since it should be obvious when a character is answering a question. Still, it's a bit more excusable than "stated," which I'm pretty sure Paolini only uses to vary his word choice.
#9: Admitted (16 uses)
While I would say that there are cases where this word should be used, using it this often comes off as a way to make characters' lines sound more important. If a character admits something without this dialogue tag, it's still an admission; however, if it's outright called an admission, it looks Important! Thus begins Paolini's trend of making his characters emote wildly via dialogue tags.
#8: Growled (17 uses)
If the dragons in this series talked verbally rather than telepathically, I might be a bit more inclined to forgive this one. However, not only are the dragons telepathic, but this verb often doesn't even apply to their speech. In most cases, it ends up coming across as another way to make a conversation more dramatic.
#7: Warned (19 uses)
This is a dialogue tag I tend to find unnecessary. Warnings should be obvious, whether from the wording itself or from the tone of the scene. The fact that Paolini feels the need to tell us when his characters are giving each other warnings does not speak to his ability to build an atmosphere.
#6: Replied (20 uses)
Like "answered," I often find this dialogue tag redundant. In some ways, it's even more annoying, since there are a great many things that could be considered a "reply" besides answering a question. Regardless of your own feelings on verbs like "answered" or "replied," though, I think we can all agree that twenty uses of this verb is too many.
#5: Snapped (22 uses)
Here we drift back into the category of dramatic words. The word "snapped" is definitely one that can add feeling to a line, but its overuse makes it fall rather flat, not to mention making the characters come across as short-tempered and snooty.
#4: Shouted (24 uses)
This is another volume-word, and as such, it's relatively acceptable. I have a feeling this could would have gone higher, if not for numbers 3 and 1 on this list.
#3: Cried (27 uses)
Personally, I find "cried" rather obnoxious as a dialogue tag, and the fact that it's used more often than "shouted" annoys me. It also makes it even clearer that Paolini is trying to inject drama into his story through the dialogue verbs.
#2: Demanded (28 uses)
Besides being forced drama, "demanded" has the extra side effect of making Paolini's characters look like petulant children. Fittingly enough, this one often comes from Eragon.
Honorable Mentions (>10 uses)
With 13 uses, "muttered" nearly made it on the list, which is fitting enough considering that it means almost the same thing as "whispered." "Assured" and "told (xir)" came in at 12 uses each. Finally, with 11 uses, "commented" sneaked its way into the double digits.
#1: Exclaimed (33 uses)
Perhaps the ultimate combination of forced drama and redundancy can be found in Paolini's rampant use of "exclaimed." Newsflash, Paolini: when a sentence ends in an exclamation point, we know the character is exclaiming it. You don't need to hold our hands, nor should you need to draw our attention to your dialogue by making your characters perform the literary equivalent of chewing the scenery.
There are, of course, some circumstances where unconventional verbs will benefit your dialogue. If the character's tone isn't obvious from or outright contradicts their words, you'll want to put it in: for example, "'I love action movies,' he mumbled". I'm sure at least some of Paolini's bookisms are appropriate for the situation. However, as we know from the memetic "'Sorry,' apologized Brom," a good many of them aren't.
So I went through and counted all the weird verbs in the Cycle, and will be going through them book by book. To begin, let's check out the top ten most commonly used dialogue verbs (excluding "said," "asked," and "thought") in Eragon.
The Top Ten Said Bookisms in Eragon
#10: Three-way tie: "Answered," "Stated," and "Whispered" (14 uses each)
Of these three, only "whispered" is forgivable in my eyes. Volume is a perfectly legitimate thing to point out in a dialogue tag. "Answered" and "stated," however, are tags I prefer to avoid. "Answered" usually seems redundant, since it should be obvious when a character is answering a question. Still, it's a bit more excusable than "stated," which I'm pretty sure Paolini only uses to vary his word choice.
#9: Admitted (16 uses)
While I would say that there are cases where this word should be used, using it this often comes off as a way to make characters' lines sound more important. If a character admits something without this dialogue tag, it's still an admission; however, if it's outright called an admission, it looks Important! Thus begins Paolini's trend of making his characters emote wildly via dialogue tags.
#8: Growled (17 uses)
If the dragons in this series talked verbally rather than telepathically, I might be a bit more inclined to forgive this one. However, not only are the dragons telepathic, but this verb often doesn't even apply to their speech. In most cases, it ends up coming across as another way to make a conversation more dramatic.
#7: Warned (19 uses)
This is a dialogue tag I tend to find unnecessary. Warnings should be obvious, whether from the wording itself or from the tone of the scene. The fact that Paolini feels the need to tell us when his characters are giving each other warnings does not speak to his ability to build an atmosphere.
#6: Replied (20 uses)
Like "answered," I often find this dialogue tag redundant. In some ways, it's even more annoying, since there are a great many things that could be considered a "reply" besides answering a question. Regardless of your own feelings on verbs like "answered" or "replied," though, I think we can all agree that twenty uses of this verb is too many.
#5: Snapped (22 uses)
Here we drift back into the category of dramatic words. The word "snapped" is definitely one that can add feeling to a line, but its overuse makes it fall rather flat, not to mention making the characters come across as short-tempered and snooty.
#4: Shouted (24 uses)
This is another volume-word, and as such, it's relatively acceptable. I have a feeling this could would have gone higher, if not for numbers 3 and 1 on this list.
#3: Cried (27 uses)
Personally, I find "cried" rather obnoxious as a dialogue tag, and the fact that it's used more often than "shouted" annoys me. It also makes it even clearer that Paolini is trying to inject drama into his story through the dialogue verbs.
#2: Demanded (28 uses)
Besides being forced drama, "demanded" has the extra side effect of making Paolini's characters look like petulant children. Fittingly enough, this one often comes from Eragon.
Honorable Mentions (>10 uses)
With 13 uses, "muttered" nearly made it on the list, which is fitting enough considering that it means almost the same thing as "whispered." "Assured" and "told (xir)" came in at 12 uses each. Finally, with 11 uses, "commented" sneaked its way into the double digits.
#1: Exclaimed (33 uses)
Perhaps the ultimate combination of forced drama and redundancy can be found in Paolini's rampant use of "exclaimed." Newsflash, Paolini: when a sentence ends in an exclamation point, we know the character is exclaiming it. You don't need to hold our hands, nor should you need to draw our attention to your dialogue by making your characters perform the literary equivalent of chewing the scenery.