Brisingr Spork: Chapter 33: Kiss Me Sweet
Hello, I’m the Gharial Guy embarking on my first spork. And I got a real special one here today. Perhaps the shortest chapter Paolini has ever written. Normally brevity is something you’d pray for in Paolini’s work but even when I first read this one my reaction was “Seriously? What was that for?” It always struck me that the shortness of this chapter wouldn’t be as noticeable if it was used as a cap stone to the previous chapter. Give us just one chapter with a clear focus on the feelings of the “characters important to Eragon”. But I suppose it’s Paolini’s strict policy to keep only one perspective to one character per chapter. Personally I think that’s a bit limiting as really what’s the difference? You still have those diamond ellipses anyway conveying the change in perspective. Just save yourself a page break and combine the similar elements into a more cohesive reading block. Ultimately it’s a very minor and mostly irrelevant point but I’m curious to know what other people’s opinions on it are (of course the best decision would obviously be to cut these two irrelevant alternate perspective chapters and pretty much this entire book).
Anyway onto the actual spork. Kiss Me Sweet is very similar to Whispers In the Night in that it’s about Roran and Katrina hanging out at home talking about stuff. But in the previous chapter they were talking about their future and what to do with their baby. Which could have potentially lead to interesting decisions and plot points (spoiler: it didn’t). Here they’re just talking about…nothing. Roran has some minor bout of PTSD that just seems wildly out of character when he’s later slaying people by the hundreds and bragging about it. And then Katrina just tells him he’s awesome and they go to sleep. That’s more or less it. But I have some specific things to say so let’s get as much meat as we can out of this thing for my first spork.
Waking, Roran extricated himself from Katrina’s smooth arms and sat bare-chested on the edge of the cot they shared. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, then gazed at the pale strip of firelight that glowed between the two entrance flaps, feeling dull and stupid with accumulated exhaustion. A chill crept over him, but he remained where he was, motionless.
So what exactly happens here in this first paragraph. Roran sits up in bed and…does nothing. He just sits up and stays there. Have you ever found yourself doing that? The answer is probably maybe. At least I know I have. But when I do it’s sort of due to extreme tiredness and sort of semi sleepwalking. Which would accurately describe the “feeling dull and stupid” only Roran’s not sleep walking. He seems to be awake because he can’t sleep as he speaks very clearly to Katrina (who isn’t at all drowsy or upset about being woken). So if it is a case that he can’t sleep, then he’s just sitting up for absolutely no reason. He isn't getting up to have a walk and clear his mind. He's just sitting up for no reason and waking his wife in the process.
She was silent for a while. “Every time you leave, I feel as if less of you returns to me. You have become so grim and quiet. . . . If you want to tell me about what is troubling you, you can, you know, no matter how terrible it is. I am the daughter of a butcher, and I have seen my share of men fall in battle.”
So from this section we can infer that Roran is going on more missions than are depic- wait what? She’s seen her far share of men fall in battle? When? During her wedding? Doubtful, she was pretty far from the action at that point considering Eragon and Saphira had to jump half way across the camp to get somewhere. And if that is the occasion then it could only have been from a pretty far distance. Other than that she’s never been around for any of the battles in the series save for that minor skirmish where the people of Carvahall managed to kill like a dozen soldiers and suffer no losses (I think, it’s been a while and I’m not going to search to verify the results now. Suffice to say it was not what I’d call a battle in scope or size) and I doubt she was on the front lines for that.
“A true warrior,” she said, “does not fight because he wishes to but because he has to. A man who yearns for war, a man who enjoys his killing, he is a brute and a monster. No matter how much glory he wins on the battlefield, that cannot erase the fact that he is no better than a rabid wolf who will turn on his friends and family as soon as his foes.”
This isn’t a bad sentiment really. Katrina has a point, people who are excited and eager to kill are generally ass hats (I assume, I’ve never met someone with an active love of killing and I don’t particularly want to). But that is the way people were expected to behave back in ye olde times. So really what is Katrina basing this shockingly liberal opinion on? And how much stock does Roran actually take in this way of thinking? Because this is the same man who slaughters people by the dozens in his next few chapters. I love pacifism and a distaste for fighting. It’s great! We should all be peaceful and loving people. But I seriously question why this message is in the book when it’s just not supported at all by the narrative. It’s like Paolini wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Say killing is wrong while at the same time saying killing is cool. At best this could cause a book with layered themes and a variety of viewpoints, but here, it just makes this particular chapter a waste of the readers time as it has no bearing on anything further in the plot.
Next they talk about Gerand, the folk hero that inspired Roran to use a remarkably ill-suited weapon (that’s remarkably effective). Katrina describes him as the greatest warrior of his age. Which I question highly. Were there dragon riders in this guy’s age? Surely there were eleven dragon riders since that whole thing happened before humans populated the land. Immediately afterwards Katrina talks about how Eragon and wizards don’t count when talking about great warriors because they’re hacks. But I think my question still stands, can anyone truly be a great warrior if they can’t achieve the same level of impact as any low ranking dragon rider or elf? I mean, sure it is grossly unfair but it is the case. Maybe Gerand and Roran should be considered better men because they lack super powers (spoilers, they’re not, at least Roran isn’t) but objectively they’re not better warriors.
Then Katrina goes on to fanwank about how amazing Roran is by recapping his deeds. Katrina calls Roran valorous for slaying the twins. Way that conflict went down as far as I remember was him sneak attacking the first and then basing the brains in of the second one when he was screaming in misery and agony. Pragmatic, but not exactly what I’d describe as valorous.
“Still, I wish this war were at an end. I wish I could till a field again and sow my crops and harvest them when they ripened. Farming is backbreaking work, but at least it is honest labor. This killing isn’t honest. It is thievery . . . the thievery of men’s lives, and no right-minded person should aspire to it.”
Don’t forget the actual thievery Roran. The Varden is going around invading people’s lands and taking their stuff.
“As I said.”
“As you said.” Difficult as it was, he made himself smile. “I have forgotten myself. Here I am burdening you with my troubles when you have worries enough of your own.” And he placed a hand over her rounding womb.
So Roran’s comment about thieving seems completely unnecessary in context of the next few lines. The discussion came to a pretty neat close with Katrina saying “You’ll always have me” but then Roran continues talking for another paragraph about wanting to till the land only to shut up before Katrina can even give her full response (which would have been a repeat of what she already said). Since there’s no response or significant element established within that paragraph, it’s completely irrelevant and should have been cut. So yes, even in his shortest chapter, Paolini still manages to ramble.
So then we get an interesting scene where Katrina says Roran’s troubles are her troubles. Roran basically says vice versa regarding her time with the Raz’ac and her response,
She withdrew an inch or two from him, and he saw her eyes become bleak and listless, as they did whenever she fell to brooding over the time she had spent imprisoned in Helgrind. “No,” she whispered, “some troubles no one else should have to endure.”
She shows some genuine pain and trauma from her past experiences! This is probably the most interesting thing Katrina has done throughout the entire series. Hell I’d say it’s more emotion than is displayed between Roran and Eragon combined throughout four books. And what does Paolini do with it? You guessed it, absolutely nothing. Roran immediately ignores it and the plot never focuses on it again. Even though it’s firmly established here that this is not the first time Katrina has acted this way. Or maybe he ignores it, it’s possible the next line is meant to be some show of physical comfort. Which wouldn’t exactly help with the ongoing trauma she’s suffering as he can’t be around all the time to act as her security blanket.
“Ah, do not be sad.” He pulled her closer and rocked back and forth with her and wished with all his might that Eragon had not found Saphira’s egg in the Spine. After a while, when Katrina had grown soft in his arms again, and even he no longer felt quite so tense, he caressed the curve of her neck. “Come, kiss me sweet, and then let us return to bed, for I am tired, and I would sleep.”
So this sounds comforting but let's try and visualize the situation. Roran is still sitting on the edge of the bed and Katrina is in the bed. How exactly is he rocking her back and forth? As she crawled out of the bed and is sitting beside him? Is she lying on his lap? Does he kind of have her in a grapple so her head is poking out from beneath his arm pit? Having a sense of where your characters are positioned in a scene is really important for making a world feel real. Otherwise the characters might as well be talking in a white void. Minute references to movements every now and then also help to break up the dialogue with something else.
I'm not all that eager to read any Paolini erotica but it strikes me that sex is something that would happen between a newlywed couple at this point but instead they just kind of sit there in this really awkward position. It could have even been a branch to the previous chapter by having Saphira interrupt him. Also is that iambic pentameter? Not even sure but something is definitely telling my subconscious that the style of that last line is very out of place. Do we have any poets among us who can analyze it?
Anyway the chapter ends with Roran dreaming he’s back at that whirlpool and wondering how they can escape. This, and Roran’s line about wishing Eragon never found the egg, is another interesting idea that is never touched upon again. Namely Roran’s distaste for this entire situation and certain level of resentment towards Eragon. Remember when he punched Eargon at the end of the last book? Yeah this is the only time those sort of feelings return in the remainder of the series as far as I can recall. Wouldn’t it be really interesting for Eragon to love someone that outwardly hated him (I mean someone besides Arya XD She has to subdue all that contempt due to being coworkers)? Of course I can’t feel too much sympathy for Roran as he’s pulling the age old moaning of “What can I do to escape this shitty situation!” when the answer is mind numbingly simple. Just move to Surda like it was suggested Katrina do. This aint your war bro and you’re not so massively important that it’ll be won or lost without you. Well he is but only because of the massive amount of plot armour.
That’s it from Kiss Me Sweet. I managed to ramble on twice as long as the chapter's word count. There’s some interesting ideas in there but ultimately, like almost every single thing in this book, it goes absolutely nowhere and achieves nothing. I bet I could tear this leaf out of the book, give it to a fan and well over 90% of them wouldn’t even realize its missing.
Anyway onto the actual spork. Kiss Me Sweet is very similar to Whispers In the Night in that it’s about Roran and Katrina hanging out at home talking about stuff. But in the previous chapter they were talking about their future and what to do with their baby. Which could have potentially lead to interesting decisions and plot points (spoiler: it didn’t). Here they’re just talking about…nothing. Roran has some minor bout of PTSD that just seems wildly out of character when he’s later slaying people by the hundreds and bragging about it. And then Katrina just tells him he’s awesome and they go to sleep. That’s more or less it. But I have some specific things to say so let’s get as much meat as we can out of this thing for my first spork.
Waking, Roran extricated himself from Katrina’s smooth arms and sat bare-chested on the edge of the cot they shared. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, then gazed at the pale strip of firelight that glowed between the two entrance flaps, feeling dull and stupid with accumulated exhaustion. A chill crept over him, but he remained where he was, motionless.
So what exactly happens here in this first paragraph. Roran sits up in bed and…does nothing. He just sits up and stays there. Have you ever found yourself doing that? The answer is probably maybe. At least I know I have. But when I do it’s sort of due to extreme tiredness and sort of semi sleepwalking. Which would accurately describe the “feeling dull and stupid” only Roran’s not sleep walking. He seems to be awake because he can’t sleep as he speaks very clearly to Katrina (who isn’t at all drowsy or upset about being woken). So if it is a case that he can’t sleep, then he’s just sitting up for absolutely no reason. He isn't getting up to have a walk and clear his mind. He's just sitting up for no reason and waking his wife in the process.
She was silent for a while. “Every time you leave, I feel as if less of you returns to me. You have become so grim and quiet. . . . If you want to tell me about what is troubling you, you can, you know, no matter how terrible it is. I am the daughter of a butcher, and I have seen my share of men fall in battle.”
So from this section we can infer that Roran is going on more missions than are depic- wait what? She’s seen her far share of men fall in battle? When? During her wedding? Doubtful, she was pretty far from the action at that point considering Eragon and Saphira had to jump half way across the camp to get somewhere. And if that is the occasion then it could only have been from a pretty far distance. Other than that she’s never been around for any of the battles in the series save for that minor skirmish where the people of Carvahall managed to kill like a dozen soldiers and suffer no losses (I think, it’s been a while and I’m not going to search to verify the results now. Suffice to say it was not what I’d call a battle in scope or size) and I doubt she was on the front lines for that.
“A true warrior,” she said, “does not fight because he wishes to but because he has to. A man who yearns for war, a man who enjoys his killing, he is a brute and a monster. No matter how much glory he wins on the battlefield, that cannot erase the fact that he is no better than a rabid wolf who will turn on his friends and family as soon as his foes.”
This isn’t a bad sentiment really. Katrina has a point, people who are excited and eager to kill are generally ass hats (I assume, I’ve never met someone with an active love of killing and I don’t particularly want to). But that is the way people were expected to behave back in ye olde times. So really what is Katrina basing this shockingly liberal opinion on? And how much stock does Roran actually take in this way of thinking? Because this is the same man who slaughters people by the dozens in his next few chapters. I love pacifism and a distaste for fighting. It’s great! We should all be peaceful and loving people. But I seriously question why this message is in the book when it’s just not supported at all by the narrative. It’s like Paolini wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Say killing is wrong while at the same time saying killing is cool. At best this could cause a book with layered themes and a variety of viewpoints, but here, it just makes this particular chapter a waste of the readers time as it has no bearing on anything further in the plot.
Next they talk about Gerand, the folk hero that inspired Roran to use a remarkably ill-suited weapon (that’s remarkably effective). Katrina describes him as the greatest warrior of his age. Which I question highly. Were there dragon riders in this guy’s age? Surely there were eleven dragon riders since that whole thing happened before humans populated the land. Immediately afterwards Katrina talks about how Eragon and wizards don’t count when talking about great warriors because they’re hacks. But I think my question still stands, can anyone truly be a great warrior if they can’t achieve the same level of impact as any low ranking dragon rider or elf? I mean, sure it is grossly unfair but it is the case. Maybe Gerand and Roran should be considered better men because they lack super powers (spoilers, they’re not, at least Roran isn’t) but objectively they’re not better warriors.
Then Katrina goes on to fanwank about how amazing Roran is by recapping his deeds. Katrina calls Roran valorous for slaying the twins. Way that conflict went down as far as I remember was him sneak attacking the first and then basing the brains in of the second one when he was screaming in misery and agony. Pragmatic, but not exactly what I’d describe as valorous.
“Still, I wish this war were at an end. I wish I could till a field again and sow my crops and harvest them when they ripened. Farming is backbreaking work, but at least it is honest labor. This killing isn’t honest. It is thievery . . . the thievery of men’s lives, and no right-minded person should aspire to it.”
Don’t forget the actual thievery Roran. The Varden is going around invading people’s lands and taking their stuff.
“As I said.”
“As you said.” Difficult as it was, he made himself smile. “I have forgotten myself. Here I am burdening you with my troubles when you have worries enough of your own.” And he placed a hand over her rounding womb.
So Roran’s comment about thieving seems completely unnecessary in context of the next few lines. The discussion came to a pretty neat close with Katrina saying “You’ll always have me” but then Roran continues talking for another paragraph about wanting to till the land only to shut up before Katrina can even give her full response (which would have been a repeat of what she already said). Since there’s no response or significant element established within that paragraph, it’s completely irrelevant and should have been cut. So yes, even in his shortest chapter, Paolini still manages to ramble.
So then we get an interesting scene where Katrina says Roran’s troubles are her troubles. Roran basically says vice versa regarding her time with the Raz’ac and her response,
She withdrew an inch or two from him, and he saw her eyes become bleak and listless, as they did whenever she fell to brooding over the time she had spent imprisoned in Helgrind. “No,” she whispered, “some troubles no one else should have to endure.”
She shows some genuine pain and trauma from her past experiences! This is probably the most interesting thing Katrina has done throughout the entire series. Hell I’d say it’s more emotion than is displayed between Roran and Eragon combined throughout four books. And what does Paolini do with it? You guessed it, absolutely nothing. Roran immediately ignores it and the plot never focuses on it again. Even though it’s firmly established here that this is not the first time Katrina has acted this way. Or maybe he ignores it, it’s possible the next line is meant to be some show of physical comfort. Which wouldn’t exactly help with the ongoing trauma she’s suffering as he can’t be around all the time to act as her security blanket.
“Ah, do not be sad.” He pulled her closer and rocked back and forth with her and wished with all his might that Eragon had not found Saphira’s egg in the Spine. After a while, when Katrina had grown soft in his arms again, and even he no longer felt quite so tense, he caressed the curve of her neck. “Come, kiss me sweet, and then let us return to bed, for I am tired, and I would sleep.”
So this sounds comforting but let's try and visualize the situation. Roran is still sitting on the edge of the bed and Katrina is in the bed. How exactly is he rocking her back and forth? As she crawled out of the bed and is sitting beside him? Is she lying on his lap? Does he kind of have her in a grapple so her head is poking out from beneath his arm pit? Having a sense of where your characters are positioned in a scene is really important for making a world feel real. Otherwise the characters might as well be talking in a white void. Minute references to movements every now and then also help to break up the dialogue with something else.
I'm not all that eager to read any Paolini erotica but it strikes me that sex is something that would happen between a newlywed couple at this point but instead they just kind of sit there in this really awkward position. It could have even been a branch to the previous chapter by having Saphira interrupt him. Also is that iambic pentameter? Not even sure but something is definitely telling my subconscious that the style of that last line is very out of place. Do we have any poets among us who can analyze it?
Anyway the chapter ends with Roran dreaming he’s back at that whirlpool and wondering how they can escape. This, and Roran’s line about wishing Eragon never found the egg, is another interesting idea that is never touched upon again. Namely Roran’s distaste for this entire situation and certain level of resentment towards Eragon. Remember when he punched Eargon at the end of the last book? Yeah this is the only time those sort of feelings return in the remainder of the series as far as I can recall. Wouldn’t it be really interesting for Eragon to love someone that outwardly hated him (I mean someone besides Arya XD She has to subdue all that contempt due to being coworkers)? Of course I can’t feel too much sympathy for Roran as he’s pulling the age old moaning of “What can I do to escape this shitty situation!” when the answer is mind numbingly simple. Just move to Surda like it was suggested Katrina do. This aint your war bro and you’re not so massively important that it’ll be won or lost without you. Well he is but only because of the massive amount of plot armour.
That’s it from Kiss Me Sweet. I managed to ramble on twice as long as the chapter's word count. There’s some interesting ideas in there but ultimately, like almost every single thing in this book, it goes absolutely nowhere and achieves nothing. I bet I could tear this leaf out of the book, give it to a fan and well over 90% of them wouldn’t even realize its missing.