Eternal Love in Inheritance.
I was foolish enough to engage in one of these recently:
What convinced me that this was a good idea, I really don't know. But anyway, it was over a particular line of Paolini's during Inheritance.
' "My feelings won't change," he [Eragon] said with utter certainty. '
-- Inheritance, p.799
For those of you who have forgotten completely what the context of this is, due to the staggering level of boredom in Paolini's prose having ill-effects on the memory (I wonder if the pages of his doorstoppers actually contain narcotics... *ponders*), this is where Eragon is reasserting to Arya, on their brief meeting after Galbatorix's death, that he lurves her, and will lurve her eternally, and asserting to the fandom that despite the fact that they are unable to start a relationship now, his love will endure long enough that they'll probably end up hooking up later.
Even if they are separated for a thousand years.
On completely different continents.
Without any method of contact.
Right.
(But... but... THE POWER OF LURVE!!!11!!!! ...
....
You're impervious to it...? You're just cynical and bitter then.)
/stupid fan-logic.
I should point out right now that my problem is not the fact that I'm so cynical when it comes to love that I think the idea of only falling in love once during your lifetime is impossible. It does happen, and has happened. Some people are lucky enough to meet up in school, get on, and are mature enough to make it work in the long term, get married, and stay married until literally 'till death do them part. (It might be slightly different for immortals, however, but ignore that point for now).
My main problem is that Eragon, and by extension Inheritance/Paolini, simply makes no room for any other point of view.
Perhaps an anecdote will help?
Eragon is a sixteen year old kid faced with the dilemma with long distance and his first love.
Similarly, I too once, was in a situation involving those exact two things, at the age of sixteen. I fell 'in love' with a young man of the same age. We were both fairly mature for our age and had similar ideas on love and our lives. He understood me incredibly, incredibly well - and to this date, remains one of the few people who understands me better than anyone else (and I was the same to him). We 'clicked'. We had 'chemistry'. We were completely at ease in each other's company, and genuinely enjoyed being with each other. We shared similar interests and could talk for hours on end about them, as well as being able to talk for hours on end about the things we didn't care about too. We lived a hundred miles apart - which was really painful at times (avoid distance if you can folks, is my advice) - but despite this, we managed to make it work. Here was someone I was genuinely happy with, genuinely cared for, and genuinely thought I could end up with forever. In fact, I was sure it could last forever. I couldn't actually imagine being with anyone else. I couldn't actually imagine breaking up with him.
Fast forward a year and a half - guess what? We broke up. Things changed - I, as a person, changed, primarily - and what I found endearing before became annoying. Infuriating, actually. We got into arguments over petty things. The idea of spending time romantically seem horrifying. I no longer had the energy to sustain the relationship. So we broke up. (The distance didn't particularly help either, although it wasn't the main factor for the break up.)
What is the moral of this story? Certainly not the idea that every single sixteen year old going through distance will end up breaking up exactly like this with the exact number of tears shed and the exact number of used train ticket momentos tossed in the bin. But it definitely taught me a lesson about love not always being a certain thing, and that it's actually fairly easy to fall out of, as well as in.
So, back to Eragon. If we disregard all the improbabilities of him and Arya - they're the same age, they're the same species, and they have actually had one conversation in the past where they're not intoxicated where they do actually get on as people and enjoy each other's company - I would still regard above quote as hopelessly naive.
Why? Because you can never speak with 'utter certainty' on love. You can never say that there is a 100% chance of staying together forever with no problems involved. You can never say that your feelings won't change. You can say it's highly likely - but it's never certain. Even marriages which have lasted thirty odd years can break down and do break down. Love is a giant WIP, a fire that constantly requires feeding and attention, that requires communication and compromise as well as not losing sight of the connection that brought you together in the first place, and requires constant work. You can't really call your relationship 'successful' until both of you have died together.
And this especially applies to sixteen year old kids who have never had any romantic affections before aside from one, who think things will never change. Because guess what? They can. I thought I was right; I ended up wrong. I'm not original in being so. By insisting that his love for Arya 'won't change', Eragon is merely demonstrated how little he understands about love.
What's more - Eragon's still a kid. He barely knows who he is - he admitted as much during Inheritance, where he only began to question what he wanted and where he was going for the very first time. He has barely questioned what he wants with love; he has no idea what his preferences are, what he's looking for, what sort of woman he tends to like, whether he wants more independence or more intimacy, whether he wants something more traditional or less so, what his sexual preferences are - heck, he's not even given the chance to even question or explore his sexuality, and whether he actually likes woman at all: he's been that transfixed with Arya. As a sixteen year old kid who barely knows himself, he is fairly liable to change in the next hundred years of living. Experiences will occur, and he will probably change as a person as a result. With change in personality comes change in preferences - and it's a common reason why relationships at a young age do actually break up: people change. I'd like to think that with having to set up an organisation of Riders himself, having to run it day-by-day, and teach others whilst he is there, is enough experience and responsibility to induce change in people.
Then there's the issue with distance. Eragon is asserting Arya, remember, that his feelings will never change, despite being separated by thousands of miles on different continents prior to the invention of the telephone, with pretty much no practical method of sustaining regular contact. Let me reiterate something to you guys:
Long distance is HARD.
No, that experience of LDR being difficult is hardly unique to me. You literally have to be crazy about someone to be crazy enough to try it and have a chance of success; casual relationships fail pretty quickly due to obvious reasons (better people available/to date in closer vicinity). Even in the internet age, where it's more possible than before, it's still difficult. You can't go out for dinner, have moonlit walks on the beach, kiss beneath the fireworks, chase each other around the house with little/no clothing on, have water balloon fights, make food for each other, dance together, sing together, or even just hug each other on a computer. You're restricted to words. It's frustrating and you spend half your time pining for the other person nonsensically. The stress of that alone is enough to destroy LDRs - and it has done before. And that's before you get into potential jealousy issues, the level of trust required, and how it's very easy to cheat on someone that way.
From the perspective of having going through on of these crazy things, I actually find it somewhat insulting that Paolini automatically assumes Eragon can keep up the interest in Arya for years on end, thousands of miles apart, with no contact. It just trivialises how difficult long distance can actually be.
No, it's not even insulting - it's just plain stupid. And almost impossible. Even if Eragon genuinely loved Arya (because they have as much chemistry between them as a textbook on Shakespeare), it'd be almost impossible. Not over years. Practically, you'd have to move on, considering Eragon and Arya have only known each other a number of months, and haven't even dated before. Which is the reason why they weren't going to bother dating in the first place, wasn't it? Supposedly, at least.
*exasperated sigh*
In summary:
1. a) Love is never certain. Feelings regarding love always have the potential to change.
b) This is especially true if you are young and don't fully understand yourself, love, and your feelings regarding love.
2. Love is even harder to sustain over a long distance for an extended period of time.
-----
Additional Note: I should point out that I have no problem with Eragon and Arya leaving, moving on from each other, possibly meeting other people (or possibly not), before circumstances change so that they're in the same place at the same time, and then falling in love again. What I do have a problem with is the idea that love - not simply interest, but actual love - can definitely endure that experience without it fading away (and therefore they don't have to fall in love again), no questions asked, and that being completely and definitely certain.
Yeah, it's another long rant.
What convinced me that this was a good idea, I really don't know. But anyway, it was over a particular line of Paolini's during Inheritance.
' "My feelings won't change," he [Eragon] said with utter certainty. '
-- Inheritance, p.799
For those of you who have forgotten completely what the context of this is, due to the staggering level of boredom in Paolini's prose having ill-effects on the memory (I wonder if the pages of his doorstoppers actually contain narcotics... *ponders*), this is where Eragon is reasserting to Arya, on their brief meeting after Galbatorix's death, that he lurves her, and will lurve her eternally, and asserting to the fandom that despite the fact that they are unable to start a relationship now, his love will endure long enough that they'll probably end up hooking up later.
Even if they are separated for a thousand years.
On completely different continents.
Without any method of contact.
Right.
(But... but... THE POWER OF LURVE!!!11!!!! ...
....
You're impervious to it...? You're just cynical and bitter then.)
/stupid fan-logic.
I should point out right now that my problem is not the fact that I'm so cynical when it comes to love that I think the idea of only falling in love once during your lifetime is impossible. It does happen, and has happened. Some people are lucky enough to meet up in school, get on, and are mature enough to make it work in the long term, get married, and stay married until literally 'till death do them part. (It might be slightly different for immortals, however, but ignore that point for now).
My main problem is that Eragon, and by extension Inheritance/Paolini, simply makes no room for any other point of view.
Perhaps an anecdote will help?
Eragon is a sixteen year old kid faced with the dilemma with long distance and his first love.
Similarly, I too once, was in a situation involving those exact two things, at the age of sixteen. I fell 'in love' with a young man of the same age. We were both fairly mature for our age and had similar ideas on love and our lives. He understood me incredibly, incredibly well - and to this date, remains one of the few people who understands me better than anyone else (and I was the same to him). We 'clicked'. We had 'chemistry'. We were completely at ease in each other's company, and genuinely enjoyed being with each other. We shared similar interests and could talk for hours on end about them, as well as being able to talk for hours on end about the things we didn't care about too. We lived a hundred miles apart - which was really painful at times (avoid distance if you can folks, is my advice) - but despite this, we managed to make it work. Here was someone I was genuinely happy with, genuinely cared for, and genuinely thought I could end up with forever. In fact, I was sure it could last forever. I couldn't actually imagine being with anyone else. I couldn't actually imagine breaking up with him.
Fast forward a year and a half - guess what? We broke up. Things changed - I, as a person, changed, primarily - and what I found endearing before became annoying. Infuriating, actually. We got into arguments over petty things. The idea of spending time romantically seem horrifying. I no longer had the energy to sustain the relationship. So we broke up. (The distance didn't particularly help either, although it wasn't the main factor for the break up.)
What is the moral of this story? Certainly not the idea that every single sixteen year old going through distance will end up breaking up exactly like this with the exact number of tears shed and the exact number of used train ticket momentos tossed in the bin. But it definitely taught me a lesson about love not always being a certain thing, and that it's actually fairly easy to fall out of, as well as in.
So, back to Eragon. If we disregard all the improbabilities of him and Arya - they're the same age, they're the same species, and they have actually had one conversation in the past where they're not intoxicated where they do actually get on as people and enjoy each other's company - I would still regard above quote as hopelessly naive.
Why? Because you can never speak with 'utter certainty' on love. You can never say that there is a 100% chance of staying together forever with no problems involved. You can never say that your feelings won't change. You can say it's highly likely - but it's never certain. Even marriages which have lasted thirty odd years can break down and do break down. Love is a giant WIP, a fire that constantly requires feeding and attention, that requires communication and compromise as well as not losing sight of the connection that brought you together in the first place, and requires constant work. You can't really call your relationship 'successful' until both of you have died together.
And this especially applies to sixteen year old kids who have never had any romantic affections before aside from one, who think things will never change. Because guess what? They can. I thought I was right; I ended up wrong. I'm not original in being so. By insisting that his love for Arya 'won't change', Eragon is merely demonstrated how little he understands about love.
What's more - Eragon's still a kid. He barely knows who he is - he admitted as much during Inheritance, where he only began to question what he wanted and where he was going for the very first time. He has barely questioned what he wants with love; he has no idea what his preferences are, what he's looking for, what sort of woman he tends to like, whether he wants more independence or more intimacy, whether he wants something more traditional or less so, what his sexual preferences are - heck, he's not even given the chance to even question or explore his sexuality, and whether he actually likes woman at all: he's been that transfixed with Arya. As a sixteen year old kid who barely knows himself, he is fairly liable to change in the next hundred years of living. Experiences will occur, and he will probably change as a person as a result. With change in personality comes change in preferences - and it's a common reason why relationships at a young age do actually break up: people change. I'd like to think that with having to set up an organisation of Riders himself, having to run it day-by-day, and teach others whilst he is there, is enough experience and responsibility to induce change in people.
Then there's the issue with distance. Eragon is asserting Arya, remember, that his feelings will never change, despite being separated by thousands of miles on different continents prior to the invention of the telephone, with pretty much no practical method of sustaining regular contact. Let me reiterate something to you guys:
Long distance is HARD.
No, that experience of LDR being difficult is hardly unique to me. You literally have to be crazy about someone to be crazy enough to try it and have a chance of success; casual relationships fail pretty quickly due to obvious reasons (better people available/to date in closer vicinity). Even in the internet age, where it's more possible than before, it's still difficult. You can't go out for dinner, have moonlit walks on the beach, kiss beneath the fireworks, chase each other around the house with little/no clothing on, have water balloon fights, make food for each other, dance together, sing together, or even just hug each other on a computer. You're restricted to words. It's frustrating and you spend half your time pining for the other person nonsensically. The stress of that alone is enough to destroy LDRs - and it has done before. And that's before you get into potential jealousy issues, the level of trust required, and how it's very easy to cheat on someone that way.
From the perspective of having going through on of these crazy things, I actually find it somewhat insulting that Paolini automatically assumes Eragon can keep up the interest in Arya for years on end, thousands of miles apart, with no contact. It just trivialises how difficult long distance can actually be.
No, it's not even insulting - it's just plain stupid. And almost impossible. Even if Eragon genuinely loved Arya (because they have as much chemistry between them as a textbook on Shakespeare), it'd be almost impossible. Not over years. Practically, you'd have to move on, considering Eragon and Arya have only known each other a number of months, and haven't even dated before. Which is the reason why they weren't going to bother dating in the first place, wasn't it? Supposedly, at least.
*exasperated sigh*
In summary:
1. a) Love is never certain. Feelings regarding love always have the potential to change.
b) This is especially true if you are young and don't fully understand yourself, love, and your feelings regarding love.
2. Love is even harder to sustain over a long distance for an extended period of time.
-----
Additional Note: I should point out that I have no problem with Eragon and Arya leaving, moving on from each other, possibly meeting other people (or possibly not), before circumstances change so that they're in the same place at the same time, and then falling in love again. What I do have a problem with is the idea that love - not simply interest, but actual love - can definitely endure that experience without it fading away (and therefore they don't have to fall in love again), no questions asked, and that being completely and definitely certain.
Yeah, it's another long rant.