I want to go back to New York
Tasha,
You know I love you, but I cannot take the constant criticism anymore. It's only been 3 days, and you cannot continue to attack every opinion I have and the way I carry on a conversation and the words I happen to choose and well, just about everything and anything I do.
It is a constant stream of criticism towards me. It is an old pattern, and it is unnerving. It is insulting and it is cruel in a way that you present as being righteous and deserved.
You are not right about everything. You have an opinion. I have an opinion. You may voice your opinion. But you need to know that is is extremely rude and insulting to constantly tell someone, to tell me that every time my opinion is different than yours that I am wrong, and here is why from your position of being beyond reproach.
I try to be open. I always want to be a better person. However, it is clear that no one, no one should be criticized as much as you have been critical of me in three days. It's non-stop. It's cruel. You don't do it to anyone else.
I have always been your biggest supporter. This is how you treat me in return. It shows me that you harbor some deep seated resentment towards me. Everytime we are together I try to start anew. But it always comes down to this. You treat me terribly. You treat me with a tremendous amount of judgement that you don't spend on others. You have an opinion on EVERYTHING I say and everything I do. From how I live my life, how I carry myself, what I wear, my diction, my vocabulary, how I drive, my opinions, everything.
What kind of shithead would put up with someone picking on them like this constantly? You have broken my heart. And as your mother, I am ashamed that you don't treat me better. I don't know what I have done to deserve this constant barrage, but I am standing up for myself.
I don't deserve it. You say you love me, but you treat me terribly. I'll not have it. It's abusive and I don't deserve it. You send mixed messages and I am at my wits end.
I cannot sleep. I am shaking and I am angry. I am here for you in every way and this is how you think it is okay to interact with me. It's not. I cannot believe in 3 days it's already gotten to a high pitch, where you are trampling on everything I am.
I am not perfect, but I am not so horrible that you should feel justified as to pick on everything about me constantly. You cannot love me as much as you profess because nothing I do, my quirks, my humanness is allowed. It all has to be picked apart, to the most minute detail and judged and sentenced. Who are you to do this to me? How perfect are you to do this to me? Who gave you the right to sit on high and watch, minute by minute with constant play by play of my life.
I have given you everything I have. Yet, you tear me asunder. When you have been in your darkest moments, I have been there for you to turn to. I have swallowed your constant rebukes, but since you have arrived, it is just unnerving that the most insignificant moments of life, of my life are to be scrutinized and found to be unsatisfactory. It's sickening, and I'm sick to my stomach.
Whatever it is about me that you despise so much, you should figure it out and decide whether you want to have a relationship with me or not. If you do, you need to find a way to be happy with who I am. If you cannot, then we will just have to not be in each other's lives.
Because whether you know it or not, this is abuse. Clearly.
You cannot do this and live under my roof. This is my sanctuary and in a mere three days, it is becoming a place I don't want to be. I don't want to talk about this. Just Stop it. I love you too much. It's not fair. Stop it or leave.
Mom
You know I love you, but I cannot take the constant criticism anymore. It's only been 3 days, and you cannot continue to attack every opinion I have and the way I carry on a conversation and the words I happen to choose and well, just about everything and anything I do.
It is a constant stream of criticism towards me. It is an old pattern, and it is unnerving. It is insulting and it is cruel in a way that you present as being righteous and deserved.
You are not right about everything. You have an opinion. I have an opinion. You may voice your opinion. But you need to know that is is extremely rude and insulting to constantly tell someone, to tell me that every time my opinion is different than yours that I am wrong, and here is why from your position of being beyond reproach.
I try to be open. I always want to be a better person. However, it is clear that no one, no one should be criticized as much as you have been critical of me in three days. It's non-stop. It's cruel. You don't do it to anyone else.
I have always been your biggest supporter. This is how you treat me in return. It shows me that you harbor some deep seated resentment towards me. Everytime we are together I try to start anew. But it always comes down to this. You treat me terribly. You treat me with a tremendous amount of judgement that you don't spend on others. You have an opinion on EVERYTHING I say and everything I do. From how I live my life, how I carry myself, what I wear, my diction, my vocabulary, how I drive, my opinions, everything.
What kind of shithead would put up with someone picking on them like this constantly? You have broken my heart. And as your mother, I am ashamed that you don't treat me better. I don't know what I have done to deserve this constant barrage, but I am standing up for myself.
I don't deserve it. You say you love me, but you treat me terribly. I'll not have it. It's abusive and I don't deserve it. You send mixed messages and I am at my wits end.
I cannot sleep. I am shaking and I am angry. I am here for you in every way and this is how you think it is okay to interact with me. It's not. I cannot believe in 3 days it's already gotten to a high pitch, where you are trampling on everything I am.
I am not perfect, but I am not so horrible that you should feel justified as to pick on everything about me constantly. You cannot love me as much as you profess because nothing I do, my quirks, my humanness is allowed. It all has to be picked apart, to the most minute detail and judged and sentenced. Who are you to do this to me? How perfect are you to do this to me? Who gave you the right to sit on high and watch, minute by minute with constant play by play of my life.
I have given you everything I have. Yet, you tear me asunder. When you have been in your darkest moments, I have been there for you to turn to. I have swallowed your constant rebukes, but since you have arrived, it is just unnerving that the most insignificant moments of life, of my life are to be scrutinized and found to be unsatisfactory. It's sickening, and I'm sick to my stomach.
Whatever it is about me that you despise so much, you should figure it out and decide whether you want to have a relationship with me or not. If you do, you need to find a way to be happy with who I am. If you cannot, then we will just have to not be in each other's lives.
Because whether you know it or not, this is abuse. Clearly.
You cannot do this and live under my roof. This is my sanctuary and in a mere three days, it is becoming a place I don't want to be. I don't want to talk about this. Just Stop it. I love you too much. It's not fair. Stop it or leave.
Mom