Insanity
I wish I were a superhero. I've never thought that, until today.
I always have daydreams of rescuing people, defending people and coming to their aid. I get lost in them. And then something happens like it did today, where there was this crazy British white guy on the 6 train. He was shouting the "n" word and "asshole" after this little black boy who was running away from the train.
The train took off with this guy inside, as well as some woman who was with him-I'm guessing she was equally as crazy, since she was with him. He kept shouting, saying that this was a white country, yelling out the "n" word and saying that the "n"s think they're as good as white people, and how that's bullshit. All of this. He was saying how he would have killed the little black kid, if he had a chance, saying no one would miss the little "n."
Less of the subway was white than not. Everyone-black, white, asian, etc.-was shaking his or her head in disagreement. A couple of black men turned to face the bastard and were giving him warning looks, perfecting their postures and getting fight-ready.
I started to shake. I was so angry. I didn't know what to do. The guy had been making death threats, and everyone knows not to even talk to a crazy person on a subway, especially not in New York-people are murdered by crazy people all the time. I was freaking out. Helpless. What do you do? At the very least, I wanted to scream. My jaw was rattling off my head in forced containment. I wanted to walk to the other end of the subway and stand with the black men who were ready to stand up for themselves. It wouldn't have been pretty.
The next stop didn't come quickly enough. I got out, walked to Midtown East daylight, leaned against the wall of a business building, and cried. The only thing running through my head, and that is still running through my head: "I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry I'm not a superhero.
I always have daydreams of rescuing people, defending people and coming to their aid. I get lost in them. And then something happens like it did today, where there was this crazy British white guy on the 6 train. He was shouting the "n" word and "asshole" after this little black boy who was running away from the train.
The train took off with this guy inside, as well as some woman who was with him-I'm guessing she was equally as crazy, since she was with him. He kept shouting, saying that this was a white country, yelling out the "n" word and saying that the "n"s think they're as good as white people, and how that's bullshit. All of this. He was saying how he would have killed the little black kid, if he had a chance, saying no one would miss the little "n."
Less of the subway was white than not. Everyone-black, white, asian, etc.-was shaking his or her head in disagreement. A couple of black men turned to face the bastard and were giving him warning looks, perfecting their postures and getting fight-ready.
I started to shake. I was so angry. I didn't know what to do. The guy had been making death threats, and everyone knows not to even talk to a crazy person on a subway, especially not in New York-people are murdered by crazy people all the time. I was freaking out. Helpless. What do you do? At the very least, I wanted to scream. My jaw was rattling off my head in forced containment. I wanted to walk to the other end of the subway and stand with the black men who were ready to stand up for themselves. It wouldn't have been pretty.
The next stop didn't come quickly enough. I got out, walked to Midtown East daylight, leaned against the wall of a business building, and cried. The only thing running through my head, and that is still running through my head: "I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry I'm not a superhero.