All banks are evil
I hate them all. It amazes how many times they can "fuck up", but when they do it's always in their favor. If random mistakes happened, wouldn't it stand to reason that they would go both ways?
I changed banks about four years ago, when the super behemoth of a bank I was with totally fucked me over. I was in Vegas, and it was a payday (thank God for direct deposit). I go to an ATM after losing way more than I should have, and the ATM tells me that I have next to no money in my account. Fuck. I try another ATM. Same thing.
So, shit, I go back to my room, call the bank. Wait on hold while I'm transferred to someone that was probably in India or somewhere. Somehow, they managed to deduct the amount of my paycheck from my checking account instead of adding to it. I was like, "Okay, that's cool. Shit happens. Fix it." And he's like, "We're sorry this happened. It will be credited (or debited, I always get those two confused) to your account the next business day."
Well, it was Friday night. "You mean Monday?" I asked. "Yes, sir." "Dude, I'm in Vegas," I said. I need the cash now. He says there's nothing he can do. I talk to a manager and get the same bullshit answer. Realizing that I'm getting nowhere, I ask him if I can just transfer money from my savings for now.
"I'm afraid not," he says.
"Why?"
"Because you haven't had any activity in that account for over a year. It's been suspended."
"Wait. You're saying that I have (however much it was) dollars in that account that I can't get to, because I haven't made any transactions."
"Yes, Sir."
And then the clencher: "How do I get it unsuspended."
"You have to make a transaction."
"Wait, you just said I can't make a transaction because it's suspended."
"That's right."
"So?"
"You have to do it at a branch."
"I'm in Vegas, goddamit, there's not Fleet for 2,000 miles."
"I'm sorry sir."
Well, to sum it up, another manager gets on, and ultimately lets me make a withdrawal from the account. Of course, I would have come home a richer man if he wouldn't have let me do it.
So, now I'm at another bank, which has merged, merged, and merged some more and is another too-big bank. Last night I look at my statement and there's a charge for $8.95 for on-line bill pay. Another phone call, more time wasted.
After Shaniqua left me on hold for a full inning of the Red Sox game, she comes back, "Oh, that's for on-line banking."
"Yes, that's what it says on the statement. But I'm on the website. That's free with my account." Back on hold while I watch Curt Schilling fuck up the game.
"Oh, that's so you can download your banking info to Quicken."
"I never signed up for that. I don't even have Quicken."
"It's also for Microsoft Money. Do you use that?"
"Yes, but it's not linked to the bank, never has been. And again, I never signed up for it."
"Our records show you did, sir."
"Why the hell would I sign up for a service that I don't use?"
"I don't know sir, I'm not sure why."
"Look, the point is I wouldn't."
And through another manager, who tells me that I have signed up for thie service. But finally they tell me that they'll credit the account.
All of that for $8.95. Or really more for the principle of it.
Fuck. Now I'm pissed off and want to find yet another bank. But I just know that they'll be assholes too.
I changed banks about four years ago, when the super behemoth of a bank I was with totally fucked me over. I was in Vegas, and it was a payday (thank God for direct deposit). I go to an ATM after losing way more than I should have, and the ATM tells me that I have next to no money in my account. Fuck. I try another ATM. Same thing.
So, shit, I go back to my room, call the bank. Wait on hold while I'm transferred to someone that was probably in India or somewhere. Somehow, they managed to deduct the amount of my paycheck from my checking account instead of adding to it. I was like, "Okay, that's cool. Shit happens. Fix it." And he's like, "We're sorry this happened. It will be credited (or debited, I always get those two confused) to your account the next business day."
Well, it was Friday night. "You mean Monday?" I asked. "Yes, sir." "Dude, I'm in Vegas," I said. I need the cash now. He says there's nothing he can do. I talk to a manager and get the same bullshit answer. Realizing that I'm getting nowhere, I ask him if I can just transfer money from my savings for now.
"I'm afraid not," he says.
"Why?"
"Because you haven't had any activity in that account for over a year. It's been suspended."
"Wait. You're saying that I have (however much it was) dollars in that account that I can't get to, because I haven't made any transactions."
"Yes, Sir."
And then the clencher: "How do I get it unsuspended."
"You have to make a transaction."
"Wait, you just said I can't make a transaction because it's suspended."
"That's right."
"So?"
"You have to do it at a branch."
"I'm in Vegas, goddamit, there's not Fleet for 2,000 miles."
"I'm sorry sir."
Well, to sum it up, another manager gets on, and ultimately lets me make a withdrawal from the account. Of course, I would have come home a richer man if he wouldn't have let me do it.
So, now I'm at another bank, which has merged, merged, and merged some more and is another too-big bank. Last night I look at my statement and there's a charge for $8.95 for on-line bill pay. Another phone call, more time wasted.
After Shaniqua left me on hold for a full inning of the Red Sox game, she comes back, "Oh, that's for on-line banking."
"Yes, that's what it says on the statement. But I'm on the website. That's free with my account." Back on hold while I watch Curt Schilling fuck up the game.
"Oh, that's so you can download your banking info to Quicken."
"I never signed up for that. I don't even have Quicken."
"It's also for Microsoft Money. Do you use that?"
"Yes, but it's not linked to the bank, never has been. And again, I never signed up for it."
"Our records show you did, sir."
"Why the hell would I sign up for a service that I don't use?"
"I don't know sir, I'm not sure why."
"Look, the point is I wouldn't."
And through another manager, who tells me that I have signed up for thie service. But finally they tell me that they'll credit the account.
All of that for $8.95. Or really more for the principle of it.
Fuck. Now I'm pissed off and want to find yet another bank. But I just know that they'll be assholes too.