(no subject)
somebody saw him jump
yeah but nobody saw him slip
i guess he lost a lot of hope
and then he lost his grip
i don't really know why i let my sister get to me, but she just irritates me so much. she fucking leeches off my parents for EVERYTHING and then just spends the rest of her time getting high and hanging out with my friends. i think that it's really retarded that i even care that much, but it's always felt like she takes things from me. my parents are always constantly talking about her and fussing over her and they won't even say anything to me unless i do something wrong. i just really want her to grow the fuck up and stop being so invasive.
i guess sometimes i just get so self-assured and i start to feel confident, and then i find something out and it's like a huge blow to my confidence, and i feel like i want to throw up. i fucking hate it when i'm left in the dust while someone else who totally doesn't deserve it gets whatever the fuck they want. talk about being bitter.
i don't think there's any way i can get away from her. i just have to fucking put up with it, and i try, but it's hard when i'm on my own on this. of course she's not because she's so fucking dependent on everyone. sometimes i wonder what my parents would be like if she weren't. it's almost impossible to, though.
i guess i'm just pissed that i'm working really hard and nothing is coming of it. nothing. while everyone else is just having a fucking party of it.
today i was cleaning obsessively at work. i think i do that because the progress is immediately apparent. if only everything was like that.
i just need to get over all this crap. it's seriously not a big fucking deal and i'm having so much trouble getting through it. especially when i'm alone here. but i suppose there's no where else to go. i can do this. i've gotten through on my own my entire life. i can totally do this.
yeah but nobody saw him slip
i guess he lost a lot of hope
and then he lost his grip
i don't really know why i let my sister get to me, but she just irritates me so much. she fucking leeches off my parents for EVERYTHING and then just spends the rest of her time getting high and hanging out with my friends. i think that it's really retarded that i even care that much, but it's always felt like she takes things from me. my parents are always constantly talking about her and fussing over her and they won't even say anything to me unless i do something wrong. i just really want her to grow the fuck up and stop being so invasive.
i guess sometimes i just get so self-assured and i start to feel confident, and then i find something out and it's like a huge blow to my confidence, and i feel like i want to throw up. i fucking hate it when i'm left in the dust while someone else who totally doesn't deserve it gets whatever the fuck they want. talk about being bitter.
i don't think there's any way i can get away from her. i just have to fucking put up with it, and i try, but it's hard when i'm on my own on this. of course she's not because she's so fucking dependent on everyone. sometimes i wonder what my parents would be like if she weren't. it's almost impossible to, though.
i guess i'm just pissed that i'm working really hard and nothing is coming of it. nothing. while everyone else is just having a fucking party of it.
today i was cleaning obsessively at work. i think i do that because the progress is immediately apparent. if only everything was like that.
i just need to get over all this crap. it's seriously not a big fucking deal and i'm having so much trouble getting through it. especially when i'm alone here. but i suppose there's no where else to go. i can do this. i've gotten through on my own my entire life. i can totally do this.