(no subject)
by any argument that could be given i turn out to be a very non-virtuous person. not NECESSARILY immoral (could be argued either way) but i'm soooo self centered and can be very manipulative. i would LOVE to think of myself as a generally good person, but that just wont happen. i wonder if anyone REALLY thinks of him/herself as a good person.. and if so, for what reason? is one 'good' if he/she does 'good things' for other people with selfish motives? perhaps to people on the receiving end, but the giver still sees the hidden agendas and ulterior motives and selfish intentions. this will bother the concientious person. (i have a conscience. i'm a non-virtuous woman of conscience. ha. ha.) luckily, when you die so does your brain along with your perception of yourself. and you live on in other people's memories. this is comforting if you give a shit what people will think about you after you've passed. and i guess we all do to an extent. i think my idea of heaven (supposing such a thing exists) is freedom from my rational mind. perhaps a labotomy is in order. i wonder if they could make me believe i am a tree? this would be so pleasant. the fact that i am NOT a tree would make no difference.. truth is filtered through perception before it reaches our eyes.
but i digress. and lose my train of thought. i think i was thinking that if i happen to be annoying anyone at any given moment itll comfort them to know i'm probably annoying myself a million times more. i hate the way i am.
but i digress. and lose my train of thought. i think i was thinking that if i happen to be annoying anyone at any given moment itll comfort them to know i'm probably annoying myself a million times more. i hate the way i am.