It's very convenient having a place to write where no one involved will read it
...but other people I care about still will.
My three biggest failures with women are eerily similar.
The first one involves a girlfriend, I hadn't seen her for a while, she had been out of town. While away, she calls and says "when I get back, we need to talk". Two weeks later she gets back, we meet up as soon as we can, I lean in for the kiss, she only wants to hug, so the kiss ends up on her neck. Three hours later, she begins the break-up by saying "you should have given me a real kiss".
The second one was a colleague, who I met at a bar. I had had a thing for her, but she had told me I was too young for her. She begins the conversation with telling me about a pretty big sacrifice she had made for me, in a professional setting, and it was a pretty big deal for me. I was really quite touched that she would do that, it wasn't something I had expected. After she finishes, she leans in for a kiss, but I misinterpret it as a hug. Awkwardness. Two hours later, she's lying in my bed, and we kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and it was wonderful. But it ends there. I can't help but wonder if more had happened if I hadn't misinterpreted her body language.
The third one happened very recently. Another kinda-colleague, who I had had a thing for even longer ago says "the thing is, I'm in a steady relationship, but I really want to kiss you right now". It came out of nowhere, I honestly could never had imagined it. I say I'm flattered, and that I always felt that she had been out of my league. I give her a hug, and move in to kiss her forehead (one of my all-time favorite things). She misinterprets it, and is inches away from a real kiss.
I haven't gotten that kind of affirmation in forever, but I keep replaying those split-seconds in my head, wondering what I could have done differently, and if it could have ended better.
As she leaves, she says "you never know what will happen".
Thirty minutes later, I finally have closure with a fourth girl, who once and for all says no. Who might be the the one I'm supposed to be with, but now we'll never know. Who might be the reason for all my hesitance. And that was a very, very good night.
I know this all sounds very high school, but that's what LJ is for. Banality is not a crime.
My three biggest failures with women are eerily similar.
The first one involves a girlfriend, I hadn't seen her for a while, she had been out of town. While away, she calls and says "when I get back, we need to talk". Two weeks later she gets back, we meet up as soon as we can, I lean in for the kiss, she only wants to hug, so the kiss ends up on her neck. Three hours later, she begins the break-up by saying "you should have given me a real kiss".
The second one was a colleague, who I met at a bar. I had had a thing for her, but she had told me I was too young for her. She begins the conversation with telling me about a pretty big sacrifice she had made for me, in a professional setting, and it was a pretty big deal for me. I was really quite touched that she would do that, it wasn't something I had expected. After she finishes, she leans in for a kiss, but I misinterpret it as a hug. Awkwardness. Two hours later, she's lying in my bed, and we kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and it was wonderful. But it ends there. I can't help but wonder if more had happened if I hadn't misinterpreted her body language.
The third one happened very recently. Another kinda-colleague, who I had had a thing for even longer ago says "the thing is, I'm in a steady relationship, but I really want to kiss you right now". It came out of nowhere, I honestly could never had imagined it. I say I'm flattered, and that I always felt that she had been out of my league. I give her a hug, and move in to kiss her forehead (one of my all-time favorite things). She misinterprets it, and is inches away from a real kiss.
I haven't gotten that kind of affirmation in forever, but I keep replaying those split-seconds in my head, wondering what I could have done differently, and if it could have ended better.
As she leaves, she says "you never know what will happen".
Thirty minutes later, I finally have closure with a fourth girl, who once and for all says no. Who might be the the one I'm supposed to be with, but now we'll never know. Who might be the reason for all my hesitance. And that was a very, very good night.
I know this all sounds very high school, but that's what LJ is for. Banality is not a crime.