Numb as a motherfucking cucumber.
For those of you that have Tom Waits' The Black Rider, there's a track on there called "Russian Dance". I play that on repeat nowadays, and that's how I feel.
An exasperated feeling of hopelessness. Every night I when I think about what I've done during the day, I come to the conclusion that I don't have what it takes to get where I want to go. Then I sleep.
When I wake up the next morning I'm invigorated, on fucking top of the world. Then start writing, and then the rest of the day is the slow descent towards that same conclusion again.
And when I'm done with the script, Then what? Even if it's a fucking masterpiece, no one will be interested. Where the fuck is all this going? A career in teaching?
Feck.
An exasperated feeling of hopelessness. Every night I when I think about what I've done during the day, I come to the conclusion that I don't have what it takes to get where I want to go. Then I sleep.
When I wake up the next morning I'm invigorated, on fucking top of the world. Then start writing, and then the rest of the day is the slow descent towards that same conclusion again.
And when I'm done with the script, Then what? Even if it's a fucking masterpiece, no one will be interested. Where the fuck is all this going? A career in teaching?
Feck.