[Shinhwa] His Childishness (Oneshot)
Pairing: JunjinXHyesung, past MinwooXHyesung, MinwooX?
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: You're an idiot if you sue.
Summary: He was the one at fault, even if he seemed like the victim. So he should set things right, shouldn't he?
A/N: Wrote this on the spur of the moment when I should be doing homework. >.< A sequel to Between Friends, but can be read as a standalone... I think.
His Childishness:
He had always been impulsive. His father, his teachers, everyone, had said so at some point or another. As a kid, he was always the first to react, to lash out, when he didn’t agree with something. His mother, stepmother actually but he treated her like the real one, had always smiled indulgently and said that it was a youth thing.
And somehow, he never grew out of the childish habit. It was a showbiz thing. He learnt how to be humble, how to work himself to death and still smile about it, but he never learnt how to grow up. Trapped in the vicious cycle of a perfect idol image, he was doomed to hold onto the naivety he had lost a long time ago, the petulance that his hyungs didn’t approve of but hadn’t actively discouraged, and the temper that they didn’t slap out of him. He had gotten so good at pretending to be shy, cheeky and silly that he had started believing that it was really himself. He was so good that he convinced himself that he was really the silly, hot-tempered kid that he played in front of the camera.
He looked at the other sitting on the other side of the room and mourned the distance between them. Once upon a time, there was neither personal space nor much silence whenever they got together. It had been a month and nothing had changed. No, they did, he corrected himself. Things had gotten worse with time. For a group that was so tight-knit, things seemed to have fallen apart impossibly fast. After the fight, he hadn’t seen his beloved and it hurt. His Mummy Bird had never gone a day without calling, or at least, texting him. To go for a month without any contact was killing him.
He knew that Hyesung, his Hyesung, was avoiding him. The schedule list he had sneaked a peek at told him as much. Hyesung had scheduled all his recording sessions as far apart from his own as possible, a far cry from the time Hyesung used to make sure that they’d at least bump shoulders in the corridors. He knew that Hyesung didn’t want to see him; too busy wallowing in his own guilt and pain, thinking that he wasn’t wanted anymore. And he missed his Mummy Bird dearly.
He slipped his cellphone out from his jean pocket, hands shaking slightly as he flipped it open. The first step was always the hardest, but he squashed down his own cowardice viciously and entered in a text message to Hyesung.
‘Baby bird knows that he’s wrong and wants to come home. Does Mummy Bird still want him back?’
And almost immediately Hyesung called back. “Jin-Jinnie yah…” The voice he had missed so much wavered uncertainly. “You don’t hate me anymore?”
He gripped his phone harder at the hopefulness in Hyesung’s voice. “Of course not,” He promised, heart tightening. “How could I hate my Mummy Bird?”
His heart clenched even more when Hyesung failed to stifle a sob over the phone. “Mummy… Mummy Bird missed you a lot,” The older man whispered over the phone.
The vulnerability in Hyesung’s voice made his heart ached and he longed to make everything up to the older man. “Tonight?” He asked softly, not wanting to ruin his chances at redemption.
“Tonight.” The voice on the other end promised and he smiled, his heart feeling a lot lighter than he had been feeling for a long time.
But he knew that wasn’t the entire problem. He sneaked another glance at the other in the room. The slouched shoulders drawn tight together, grim lines around the mouth, and the tired eyes were nothing like his confident and cheerful Minwoo hyung. Minwoo was supposed to be cocky, crazy and out-going. But it had been impossibly long since the last time he saw Minwoo smile or initiate a conversation, much less crack a joke or do something stupid. After the fight, Minwoo had withdrawn into himself totally, keeping to himself and barely talking unless it was work-related. He hated how the other man looked so defeated and he hated the fact that he had caused it even more.
He had been unreasonable, throwing a temper about the ‘minsung’ fanservice when he knew that there was really nothing going on between Minwoo and Hyesung, and accusing Hyesung of cheating on him. Everyone, except the person in question, knew that Minwoo had his eyes on someone else for a long time and Minwoo was nothing but stupidly faithful whenever he lost his heart. And he knew that he should be the one to set things right with Minwoo.
He watched as Minwoo fidgeted nervously in his seat while frowning down at the paperwork in front of him, trying to figure out what to say to Minwoo. It was hard, seeing as how Minwoo hadn’t met his eyes ever since the fight. The older man was an incurable workaholic and that was probably the only thing that kept him coming in to the tense silence every day.
Then without warning, before he could figure out what to say, Minwoo suddenly put his pen down and started shuffling all the papers together. It wasn’t like Minwoo to leave without finishing his work. Then he saw Minwoo glance at the clock on the wall and he realized why. It was almost time, half an hour before a particular someone was due in the recording studio, and half an hour for Minwoo to make his escape in order to avoid seeing that someone.
It was a testimony to how bad Minwoo must have been feeling, to go to such length to avoid someone, seeing as how Minwoo was always the one who had no problem meeting ex-girlfriends and the likes. But it wasn’t time to contemplate when Minwoo was already pulling on his jacket, back still towards him. It was time to make things right with Minwoo.
He stood up determinedly, crossing the room before Minwoo could react, and engulfed the older man in a tight bear hug from behind. For a long moment, guilt welled up in him again as he felt how thin the older man had became in such a short period of time and how light he had become. But it felt good to be holding onto Minwoo again. He missed the physicality of their friendship, the horsing about and even the fights. Then he tightened his hold, when he felt Minwoo stiffened against him, resolved to not let Minwoo escape before he had begged for forgiveness.
“Hyung…” He mumbled into Minwoo’s hair. “Forgive me?”
“What?” Minwoo’s voice was hoarse with shock.
“I was the one at fault. I started everything. Forgive me?”
“Choong Jae… I…” Minwoo trailed off at that, too choked up to continue. He was sure he had never heard Minwoo stutter so much before. And he was sure he had never heard Minwoo speak in such a choked voice before either. The silence remained there for a few moments, until Minwoo finally went slack against him, whispering. “There’s nothing to forgive, Choong Jae.”
He released his hold on Minwoo enough for the older man to turn and reciporate the hug. “I’m sorry, hyung,” He mumbled into Minwoo’s shoulder, feeling thankful that Minwoo would forgive him.
Then he felt Minwoo tremble against him. “I’m sorry too, Choong Jae,” He heard Minwoo whisper back, but he knew that Minwoo wasn’t referring to the same thing.
Minwoo was sorry that he had slept with Hyesung, sorry that he had messed up the group dynamics, but most of all he was sorry that he had lost his chance at love. And so he hugged Minwoo tighter, hoping to comfort the victim of his childishness.
~
At this point, I really don't know what I'm writing anymore... Oh well. *shrugs*