[Arashi] Freefall (Oneshot)
Pairing: OhnoXNino, kind of.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: you're an idiot if you sue
Summary: “I’ve always thought that you felt the same way.”
A/N: Inspired by Suju fans. Serious.
Freefall:
Ninomiya Kazunari never thought he would actually do this. However, Ninomiya Kazunari had never thought of himself as a coward either.
So that was how he ended up there, sitting by himself on the rooftop of one of the taller building in Tokyo, cigarette in hand and keitai by his side. The cold wind blew, not freezing enough that it stung, but strong enough to make an impact on his awareness.
He took one last drag on his cigarette, feeling the burn mingled with the warm smoke in his lungs, and let the glowing butt dropped thirty storey down into nothingness. Then he sighed. It was his last one, he mourned mentally, before getting to his feet and brushing himself off.
The city was pretty, in artificial way, he mused, his eyes taking in the lights that littered the darkness panning out in front of him. The lights were bright and striking, but yet so cold. Nino let a brief but slightly bitter smile crossed his face before he wiped it off hurriedly. It was stupid of him to be smiling to himself.
“I like you.”
Stifling silence…
“I really like you.”
A strangled silence…
“It wasn’t just fan service… Couldn’t you tell?”
A deathly silence…
“I’ve always thought that you felt the same way.”
The silence was replaced by the gentle clinking of his fragile heart breaking into countless bloodied pieces onto the floor and then the slap of humiliated sneaker-ed feet as they tried to run away from the heartache.
Nino had never thought himself a coward, but when faced with the horror that his feelings, something that he had let festered for years, weren’t returned, he had thought again. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t handle it.
He hadn’t cried, couldn’t cry. His face was stiff, not just from the long hours of wandering the streets and sitting on the rooftop. He didn’t feel like himself anymore. He didn’t even feel alive anymore.
He was lost.
It was just so easy, too easy, to just take the step forward. It was just a tiny step forward, into a freefall that would erase all his fears and hurt. It was so tempting, the comforting darkness speckled with distant lights and the promise of oblivion.
Nino took a tiny step forward, peering over the edge cautiously, like how years in the jimusho had taught him to but he had forgotten when he had blurted out his confession. What he saw nearly took his breath away. He could already see himself, a splatter of blood and flesh on the cold hard concrete, all he had to do was to take another step forward.
Should he?
And for a long, selfish moment, Nino wondered if he would be affected if Nino never turned up for work in the morning and they watch his death on the news?
Nino laughed, the sound sharp and hysterical. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t abandon his mother, who had single-handedly brought him up, his sisters, who had doted on him and fought for him when other bigger boys picked on him. And he couldn’t just abandon the group so cruelly just because his heart got stepped on. It wasn’t fair… even if it wasn’t fair for him either.
He took a deep breath, trying to breath life into himself again. He will go home, have a nice shower and cry on his ever-patient mother’s shoulder. And tomorrow… tomorrow would be different. He would smile and act as if there was nothing wrong.
It was only fair, wasn’t it?
“I finally found you.”
He twirled at the quiet voice. No, no, not him. Nino wasn’t really to deal with him now. While he knew who the owner of the voice was without even turning, seeing Ohno standing there, a mere three meters away from him hurt even more than he realized it could.
“No….”
Nino shook his head frantically, trying to deny what he was seeing. No, he didn’t want to see this. He wasn’t seeing this. Ohno was the last person whom he’d want to see right now.
Nino couldn’t see him. He didn’t want to see Ohno. He didn’t want to see the pity in Ohno’s eyes. He didn’t want to see the guilt on Ohno’s face. He didn’t want pity. He didn’t want guilt. He just wanted to be left alone to lick his wounds in private. Was that too much to ask for?
Go away.
Please.
Just go away.
I don’t want to see you!
And Nino took a step back, every instinct screaming at him to run, his mouth opening into a soundless shriek as he stepped on empty air… into the freefall that he wanted earlier.
~