(no subject)
Well the troupe kind of blew up at eachother tonight. Maybe "blew up" isn't the right way to describe it, but there was a lot of conflict even though no one meant for it to be that way. Some people cried. Some people yelled. It's strange because I always viewed the troupe as being such a peaceful place. But thing that happened isn't bad, I think it just caught everyone off guard so they got temporarily upset. In the long run, I think it'll be good for all of us. Including me.
I hadn't realized how... distant I've been from everyone else in the troupe. I want to be warm to them but I still feel like an alien amongst them. That's kind of how I am with life and people in general though. My way of thinking is more like "I don't want to bug you with my company" rather than "I'll be friends with that person and give them something to smile about". It sounds much worse than it is, I think. But from now on I'll try to be nicer and friendlier to the troupe. I hope I don't make them feel uncomfortable anymore.
I'm such a douchebag.
I hadn't realized how... distant I've been from everyone else in the troupe. I want to be warm to them but I still feel like an alien amongst them. That's kind of how I am with life and people in general though. My way of thinking is more like "I don't want to bug you with my company" rather than "I'll be friends with that person and give them something to smile about". It sounds much worse than it is, I think. But from now on I'll try to be nicer and friendlier to the troupe. I hope I don't make them feel uncomfortable anymore.
I'm such a douchebag.