Affirmations, or maybe not

[anti_cyclone]

Things I say to myself every day:

• If you hate it so much, why are you still here?
• No one is interested in your excuses.
• And whose fault is that?
• No one likes a whiner.
• Put up or shut up.
• In fact, just shut up.
• No one cares.
• Shut up.

I was nearly okay, right up until the charrette. But during those three days I lost a couple of pounds and a lot of sleep and I got behind in all my classes and I caught a cold. And I haven't been able to pull myself together since then. Today I was walking home with my hair unfurling itself and my shoelaces coming undone and I felt like I was completely coming apart in every direction.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what would make it better. Nothing, I guess. Just keep my head down and try to keep up as much as I can, and remind myself that I'm even less employable without the expensive meaningless piece of paper.

So it goes.