Open Letter To The "Step"

[imustbesilent]

Dear Current Partner of My Ex-Partner,

I am a single parent who has sole custody of a small child. My former partner plays little to no part in my child's life (and never has), though occasionally he/she will butt his/her head in and try to take part in my child's life.

Keep my ex-partner occupied and away from my child, please.I do not want you

Comments

[carrionsynapses]

I feel this way often about my boyfriend's ex-wife. She lives in Canada and calls the boys perhaps once a week, maybe once every two weeks. She's been diagnosed with schizophrenia and refuses to get medication. We don't believe that she's a danger to the kids, but that's not the point. The point is that my boyfriend is still stuck on the way he WANTED things with the x to go -- he wanted her to settle down, to get a stable job, send child support to the kids. The reality is that she ABANDONED them to move back to Canada and be "independent". At this point in time, he would be willing to move to Nashville EXCEPT for the fact that he had wanted to move to Vancouver so he would be in Canada and the ex could see the kids.

Obviously, this all makes me feel really sad -- the other day I said, "you place so much importance on how SHE relates to the boys and you haven't even said very much about how -I- relate to the boys -- and guess what, -I'M- the one taking care of them along with you 300 days a year".

He really thinks they need their "mom" in their lives...that they need to have that "bond" with Mom. I don't know if he's right or wrong.

There are times I wish she'd just move to new zealand and leave us alone.

[imustbesilent]

My current spouse also has the misguided belief that there needs to be some sort of bond. Bullshit. There never was a bond and I think trying to force it is idiocy in its highest. I think your partner's ex should be committed. If you're willingly being a mother to those kids than for all intents and purposes you ARE their mother.