we broke our hearts in the war (Ben, PG)
Title: we broke our hearts in the war
Author: cloudytea
Characters: Ben/Ilana, Cindy/Lennon. Mentions of many others.
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Warnings: Season 6 finale.
Summary: The dirt dug for the graves still stain his knuckles. For captainmarveljt.
He knocks twice (politeness may be a novel habit, but respect has always been ingrained deep in his bones) before entering. Once inside Dogen’s office, he half-expects to see the Japanese man trimming his bonsai garden. Of course, this is foolish thinking. Dogen is dead. It’s been just over a month since that bloody time when so many were lost in the evil that flooded the Temple.
(in his dreams -- whenever he was lucky enough to get any sleep in the first place -- the dirt dug for the graves still stain his knuckles. There are times when he wishes it was blood instead. In the past, blood always seemed to wash right off, but the feeling of dirt will haunt him forever)
Oh, sorry, the apology slips from his lips by default when he sees Cindy seated at the desk, sorting through a sprawl of manila folders. He spots the emptied cabinet next to one of the bookshelves. Her fingers are pressed against the creases in her forehead, a sign that she was deep in concentration before he had walked in.
She looks up as he crosses the room, closing the current folder that held her attention. Hello, Ben.
There had always been an unsaid, mutual tension between the two. Ben was, after all, the instigator behind her kidnapping. Following the new rearrangement in leadership, Cindy has become the leader of his people. He is only there to advise, to stand by and watch someone else make the decisions that were once his.
What do you have there? He does his best to lace civility into his tone, but feels it isn’t doing any good. It has been three years and the memory still stands strong with her. For all he knows, she could have been one of the lucky few to board that helicopter. Instead, she stayed here, with his people and started a new life.
Just some files, she answers, eyeing him as he walks in front of the desk. I’ve got some interesting information concerning -- Well, concerning a lot of people. Never knew you were keeping files on us.
He sticks his hands in his pockets. If we didn’t, how would we know on who to take and who not to take? I made my decisions with information to back it up, Cindy, not by fear.
Well, then I suppose I have you to thank, Benjamin. Without your cunningness, I suppose I would have never ended up here.
He wonders if Cindy’s being sarcastic. Yes, I suppose you do.
Ben doesn't want to play this game anymore. He turns for the door and wonders why the hell he was there in the first place. Just as he reaches for the door, Cindy's voice makes him freeze.
Benjamin? her voice echoes from across the room. He turns to look at her, but she doesn’t look him in the eye. I - uh, thanks. I know I’ve been, er, uncivil, but I really do like my life here. I uh, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.
Glad to hear it, Cindy, he smiles. Just as his hand reaches out for the door, he retracts it once more. Oh. Hugo says hello. They all do.
And she exactly knew what he meant by all: Libby, Ana Lucia, Dogen, Lennon. All of the people who she cared about. And it is no secret that she took Lennon’s death especially hard. In fact, she was wearing one of his necklaces at that very moment: a sign of repent.
Cindy craves forgiveness for deserting Lennon in his time of need, while Ben yearns for forgiveness of all the deaths that were his fault: Sun and Jin (a couple of who deserved the world but got Hell instead). Sayid (the torturer who made redemption look so easy). Alex (just a girl caught up in the mistakes forged long ago). Ilana (the only woman whose acceptance made him a new man).
A small smile creeps upon her lips. Thank you, Ben.
Ben can hear the forgiveness in her voice.
Author: cloudytea
Characters: Ben/Ilana, Cindy/Lennon. Mentions of many others.
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Warnings: Season 6 finale.
Summary: The dirt dug for the graves still stain his knuckles. For captainmarveljt.
He knocks twice (politeness may be a novel habit, but respect has always been ingrained deep in his bones) before entering. Once inside Dogen’s office, he half-expects to see the Japanese man trimming his bonsai garden. Of course, this is foolish thinking. Dogen is dead. It’s been just over a month since that bloody time when so many were lost in the evil that flooded the Temple.
(in his dreams -- whenever he was lucky enough to get any sleep in the first place -- the dirt dug for the graves still stain his knuckles. There are times when he wishes it was blood instead. In the past, blood always seemed to wash right off, but the feeling of dirt will haunt him forever)
Oh, sorry, the apology slips from his lips by default when he sees Cindy seated at the desk, sorting through a sprawl of manila folders. He spots the emptied cabinet next to one of the bookshelves. Her fingers are pressed against the creases in her forehead, a sign that she was deep in concentration before he had walked in.
She looks up as he crosses the room, closing the current folder that held her attention. Hello, Ben.
There had always been an unsaid, mutual tension between the two. Ben was, after all, the instigator behind her kidnapping. Following the new rearrangement in leadership, Cindy has become the leader of his people. He is only there to advise, to stand by and watch someone else make the decisions that were once his.
What do you have there? He does his best to lace civility into his tone, but feels it isn’t doing any good. It has been three years and the memory still stands strong with her. For all he knows, she could have been one of the lucky few to board that helicopter. Instead, she stayed here, with his people and started a new life.
Just some files, she answers, eyeing him as he walks in front of the desk. I’ve got some interesting information concerning -- Well, concerning a lot of people. Never knew you were keeping files on us.
He sticks his hands in his pockets. If we didn’t, how would we know on who to take and who not to take? I made my decisions with information to back it up, Cindy, not by fear.
Well, then I suppose I have you to thank, Benjamin. Without your cunningness, I suppose I would have never ended up here.
He wonders if Cindy’s being sarcastic. Yes, I suppose you do.
Ben doesn't want to play this game anymore. He turns for the door and wonders why the hell he was there in the first place. Just as he reaches for the door, Cindy's voice makes him freeze.
Benjamin? her voice echoes from across the room. He turns to look at her, but she doesn’t look him in the eye. I - uh, thanks. I know I’ve been, er, uncivil, but I really do like my life here. I uh, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.
Glad to hear it, Cindy, he smiles. Just as his hand reaches out for the door, he retracts it once more. Oh. Hugo says hello. They all do.
And she exactly knew what he meant by all: Libby, Ana Lucia, Dogen, Lennon. All of the people who she cared about. And it is no secret that she took Lennon’s death especially hard. In fact, she was wearing one of his necklaces at that very moment: a sign of repent.
Cindy craves forgiveness for deserting Lennon in his time of need, while Ben yearns for forgiveness of all the deaths that were his fault: Sun and Jin (a couple of who deserved the world but got Hell instead). Sayid (the torturer who made redemption look so easy). Alex (just a girl caught up in the mistakes forged long ago). Ilana (the only woman whose acceptance made him a new man).
A small smile creeps upon her lips. Thank you, Ben.
Ben can hear the forgiveness in her voice.