Life on Reset
There comes a time in your life where it feels like the reset button has been pushed which causes a huge amount of changes in your life.
This has happened to me a lot this year, but once again lately.
I got a new job, a new look, a new social life and soon will be living in a new home.
My old life has died and gone. This whole year has felt like an intermission year for me where I have struggled with a lot of internal conflicts. Which has changed me as a person (Unfortunately for the worse). One of those conflicts was consistent and the main cause of my pain, but I wont delve into that. Fact of the matter is it feels like I’ve been given a deadline to sort out all this shit before my “new” life starts. That deadline is when I move into the new house. Next week.
I’ve been trying to sort it out all year, but its still not sorted and I’m still messed up. Hating every minute of it.
My main problem is that I have to decide what I’m going to take from my old life with me to my new one. What is worth taking along, what still needs to be worked on and to leave behind which has caused me nothing but pain.
This is all fine and good until you come across that one thing that you cant decide on. The thing that you want to take with you so much, but it hurts you almost daily and most likely doesn’t care if you take it along or not.
It renders you indecisive. So you leave it up to fate, which I normally wouldn’t. I have become incredibly passive this year.
Ultimately, I think I’m trying to reach the same status of a certain time in my life before this year. A time when I was happy.
Sorry for the emo. Just felt like it.
This has happened to me a lot this year, but once again lately.
I got a new job, a new look, a new social life and soon will be living in a new home.
My old life has died and gone. This whole year has felt like an intermission year for me where I have struggled with a lot of internal conflicts. Which has changed me as a person (Unfortunately for the worse). One of those conflicts was consistent and the main cause of my pain, but I wont delve into that. Fact of the matter is it feels like I’ve been given a deadline to sort out all this shit before my “new” life starts. That deadline is when I move into the new house. Next week.
I’ve been trying to sort it out all year, but its still not sorted and I’m still messed up. Hating every minute of it.
My main problem is that I have to decide what I’m going to take from my old life with me to my new one. What is worth taking along, what still needs to be worked on and to leave behind which has caused me nothing but pain.
This is all fine and good until you come across that one thing that you cant decide on. The thing that you want to take with you so much, but it hurts you almost daily and most likely doesn’t care if you take it along or not.
It renders you indecisive. So you leave it up to fate, which I normally wouldn’t. I have become incredibly passive this year.
Ultimately, I think I’m trying to reach the same status of a certain time in my life before this year. A time when I was happy.
Sorry for the emo. Just felt like it.