I feel I keep cleaning my pallet after trying new things
Its impossible to look back on the last two years and not be surprised at what I’ve been through. The heartbreak and hard work doesn’t balance with any positive emotion yet it doesn’t create discomfort when I’m reminded. I feel I keep cleaning my pallet after trying new things, yet the memory of the taste lingers to which I learn and grow. Its amazing how one minute you can be so in love and the next you can look at yourself as so naive. Forever is a word that should never be used by a human being. Promises are meant to be broken and a promise for forever is a guaranteed failure on both parties. I live for planning and control, this mind set has helped me through many challenges but it also has failed me. I finally learned to balance out my control and let things be. I used to rely on the attention of others for happiness, I used to believe everybody has good in them, and I used to think loneliness was an exile of happiness. Everybody has a chance to change, yet not everyone is strong enough to change. I have found that strength and my change wasn’t drastic but it was necessary. I have been single for a year with the exception of a couple flings yet I have never been happier. I have discovered who my true friends are and I like and respect the people I surround myself with. I am focused now on education and enjoying life in general. I will never be happy with mediocrity and I know I’m destined for better things. One and a half semesters until I have my AA degree then hopefully off to California for my BA and possibly a chance to get famous. Bring it on life ;)