a gathering of friends that remind you of the people that remind you of home.
Life can do a 180 pretty quickly when one minute you're at a bar taking tequila shots and shoveling down gyros wasted and then what seems like the next minute you're studying the United States Code, learning what in a few months will probably seem like a pretty basic difference in what courts have jurisdiction over what types of cases. Ah, a brilliant reminder that I am in law school to work. And play.
In Madison I spend most of my time with Hanna and Adam. In the short time I've known them I already feel really close to them, perhaps dangerously so. I'm willing, because of the newness of it all, and perhaps even eager to open up to them in ways I don't think I should so early on in a friendship. But in a naive yet still really comforting way, I really trust them. I can't imagine them really letting me down, and even though they will, it will probably still feel okay because I'm sure I will do the same.
Of course nothing is perfect. We still have awkward silences. We're still drawing lines. We don't always remember everything we've learned about each other. Being in the infancy of friendship is full of those kind of teetering moments. That's why alcohol is still the great equalizer, bringing all of our commonalties into sharp focus and quickly erasing our differences. Most exciting of all, we're learning that we really are starting to become actual friends. I get excited when Hanna calls to see if we're on the same page with our homework and I get excited when I text Adam some crazy line I think he'll appreciate and he actually texts me back with something equally as witty or corny. I like that they like me the same way that Katie Rogers likes me, or Ellen Colwell. Adam constantly does a quick eye shift from the grounds towards me whenever I say something really random and his face transforms from confused to elated in a way that I hope never gets old for either of us.
In a more psychological sense, these new friends are teaching me about the types of relationships I crave, and what I need and want from other people. Once again I've grown close to a straight man that is superior in character and kindness to any of the men I've dated and complemented that with a strong, independent woman who keeps me in check while letting me go. I wonder then what I am for them. I hope for Hanna I'm a man that reassures her about her own interactions with the opposite sex while simultaneously broadening them. Of course, relationships are much more complex. I couldn't really describe much about what makes Adam and I close without digging really deep into the nature of relationships among men in general, regardless of sexuality. I feel closer to him as a straight man than I do many of my gay friends if only because we're never competing for the same people or even for each others' attention. He supports me, I support him, and at the end of the day we have each other to call and try and make some sense of our very different life experiences.
In short, they keep me happy. The anxiety of being in a new place doing a new thing without much of a sense of where my mood is going to be at any given time has been greatly reduced by them, and when we graduate in three years together, if we're still close I'm going to revisit this entry and remember this time as one of the luckiest of my time in Wisconsin.
love,
anthony
In Madison I spend most of my time with Hanna and Adam. In the short time I've known them I already feel really close to them, perhaps dangerously so. I'm willing, because of the newness of it all, and perhaps even eager to open up to them in ways I don't think I should so early on in a friendship. But in a naive yet still really comforting way, I really trust them. I can't imagine them really letting me down, and even though they will, it will probably still feel okay because I'm sure I will do the same.
Of course nothing is perfect. We still have awkward silences. We're still drawing lines. We don't always remember everything we've learned about each other. Being in the infancy of friendship is full of those kind of teetering moments. That's why alcohol is still the great equalizer, bringing all of our commonalties into sharp focus and quickly erasing our differences. Most exciting of all, we're learning that we really are starting to become actual friends. I get excited when Hanna calls to see if we're on the same page with our homework and I get excited when I text Adam some crazy line I think he'll appreciate and he actually texts me back with something equally as witty or corny. I like that they like me the same way that Katie Rogers likes me, or Ellen Colwell. Adam constantly does a quick eye shift from the grounds towards me whenever I say something really random and his face transforms from confused to elated in a way that I hope never gets old for either of us.
In a more psychological sense, these new friends are teaching me about the types of relationships I crave, and what I need and want from other people. Once again I've grown close to a straight man that is superior in character and kindness to any of the men I've dated and complemented that with a strong, independent woman who keeps me in check while letting me go. I wonder then what I am for them. I hope for Hanna I'm a man that reassures her about her own interactions with the opposite sex while simultaneously broadening them. Of course, relationships are much more complex. I couldn't really describe much about what makes Adam and I close without digging really deep into the nature of relationships among men in general, regardless of sexuality. I feel closer to him as a straight man than I do many of my gay friends if only because we're never competing for the same people or even for each others' attention. He supports me, I support him, and at the end of the day we have each other to call and try and make some sense of our very different life experiences.
In short, they keep me happy. The anxiety of being in a new place doing a new thing without much of a sense of where my mood is going to be at any given time has been greatly reduced by them, and when we graduate in three years together, if we're still close I'm going to revisit this entry and remember this time as one of the luckiest of my time in Wisconsin.
love,
anthony