Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
6/22/2012
Change is hard....and round and silver and jingles in your pocket. It's also the passing from one place, state, form, or phase to another. And that's hard too.
I have one week left in my residency. The past three years have been such a whirlwind. Ignoring the loose ends that have to be tied up in the meantime, I graduate Thursday - but actually finish work on Friday morning. I received my family medicine board scores yesterday, so as of July 1 I'll be a board certified family physician. This simultaneously thrills and terrifies me.
The aspect of this transition at the forefront of my mind at the moment, however, is the endings and the goodbyes. Today was my last day to work in our indigent/migrant OB clinic. I've had final check-ups with many of my patients. Earlier this week a patient brought me a bouquet of hydrangeas from her yard and today another patient brought me a painting he had made for me. Every interaction with the people I've worked with for the past three years has a bittersweet tinge. Even my last night on call, as liberating as that was, was kinda sad. There have been lots of hugs and well-wishes.
The future, though I have distinct plans, is very uncertain. Nature of the beast, I suppose. And as challenging as this period in my life has been, it's been good. I'm sad about leaving my cozy home, my dear friends and colleagues, the security and familiarity of my job. While I'm looking forward to the next phase in many respects, letting go isn't easy.