Title: Of Bindings - A Talk and a Decision
'Verse: 2007 Transformers
Characters: Jazz. Prowl.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: TF cussing.
::Jazz.::
Jazz looked up to spot Prowl approaching. Sighing, he turned away, folding his arms about his torso as if the chill of the desert night affected him.
::Prowler. I swear it wasn’t like Blue’ said.::
Reassurance trickled over their connection; the tactician matching the metaphysical contact with a gentle touch to the Ops mech’s hunched shoulders.
::If you do recall, we’ve already had that argument. The matter is settled between you and I, what any one else thinks is irrelevant. In any case, Bluestreak was merely trying to prove something to the both of us; he didn’t actually mean what he insinuated.::
There was a pause, and Prowl could see the Solstice trying to subtly move away from him. The tactician followed, prompting the Ops mech to comment out loud in a too-casual manner.
“Y’know, you didn’t have to come looking for me just to tell me that. A word over comms or even the bond would’ve been good enough.”
“Why would I not seek out the one I care about most, particularly when he is upset?” The doorwinged mech replied, just as offhandedly, and Jazz glared at him.
“Prowler, I’m not up to joking right now.”
“It’s been observed by Sideswipe on numerous occasions that I have no sense of humour.”
“I’m serious.”
“A rare occurrence for you. But not so for me. I do care for you.” The chevroned mech took the saboteur’s hand, and held onto it firmly when Jazz tried to pull away, muttering lowly.
“No, you don’t.”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“Mech. I… You wouldn’t have looked twice at me if we met as regular folks. Frag. Smokescreen didn’t even bother to offer odds on us ever becoming friends. I still can’t believe we’re friends.”
“Only friends, Jazz?” Prowl’s voice was soft, his tone neutral, and the Solstice looked down at the hand still wrapped about his, unable to meet the tactician’s optics when he replied.
“… Only friends.”
“Then why did you run? Why not stay and defend yourself to Bluestreak? If our association has no deeper basis than mere friendship, why were you so afraid of my response to his words?”
“Prowl… Stop, please. We’ve been bonded the entire length of our association. How can I not doubt these feelings, yours and mine?” Jazz tried to break free once more, only for the other mech to tighten his grip on him.
“Jazz, do you think normal sparkmates, even unbonded ones, don’t ask themselves the same things? That I don’t have doubts of my own?”
“So why are you doing this? Why now?”
“Because I heard Miss Madsen speak to you the other day. Her words prompted my own bout of introspection, and I know what I feel. It was only logical to move forward.”
“Primus, mech. I want what you’re offering. I want it more than you can ever imagine, but I can’t keep you.” The silver mech tried to shy away again, and this time the tactician let him go, eying the tense bot solemnly. The Solstice’s next words crackled with static. “You ought to have a bondmate you want, instead of one that was forced on you.”
“And what if the one I want is you?”
“How can you tell? You tied yourself to me when all you knew of me was my name.”
“I could ask you the same thing, Jazz. How do you know you really want me? But my answer to your question is that you aren’t the first bot I’ve ever fallen for.” Prowl smiled faintly when the visored mech failed to block the wave of jealousy that stirred at his words. Jazz shook his head, stubbornly trying to ignore his slip-up.
“But I’m the first bot you bonded to. This isn’t how things are supposed to go, Prowler. Sparkmates don’t just end up together at random. How is that in any way logical?”
“Matters of the spark are rarely logical, and not everything goes according to plan, isn’t that what you so often tell me? Does it matter how our relationship started?” Gently, the doorwinged mech traced fingers over the saboteur’s headfins, voice scarcely above a whisper as he continued.
“Yes, we’re extremely different. So different that my analytical programs cannot calculate the odds of us even meeting outside the war, much less striking up any sort of affiliation. Do you know how much that terrifies me?”
Prowl paused, venting air quietly before making his next admission. “It still terrifies me that I nearly lost you again to Megatron.” The doorwinged mech sounded truly shaken, and Jazz shuttered his optics against the effect the words had on him.
“I’m not yours to lose, Prowl.”
“I was under the impression that friendship goes both ways. As such, you are mine to lose, and I couldn’t bear it if I did. You befriended me when you didn’t have to. In a similar manner, you concern yourself over my wellbeing, mental and physical. You stayed even after your spark had long stabilised, because you didn’t want to leave me with a broken spark bond. You care for me. For all that and more, I love you.”
Actually hearing the words froze the Solstice in place, before he exploded in a flurry of words. “What did you expect me to do? Ignore you? I couldn’t just leave you like that after what you did for me! You had no other option at the time!”
“You were the one with no options. Yet you insisted on giving me a choice. I made it freely. The bond brought me to you, but it does not keep me there.” At the silver mech’s disbelieving look, Prowl reached for his hand once more, relentlessly insistent.
“Smokescreen tries to get me to loosen up. He, Trailbreaker and Ironhide are always willing to talk tactics and strategy. Bluestreak talks to me about everything. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, when they’re not in trouble, actually like spending time with me. You are not the only mech I’m close to. But you are the only mech I want.”
“Prowl… What if it’s just the bond?”
“Then we break it and find out for certain if what we have is dependant on its existence.”
“Are you glitched? You’d take the brunt of the backlash!”
“Whether or not the bond is what engenders our feelings for each other, either way, our current situation is unfair to the both of us. Therefore, the logical course of action would be to break the bond. Now, while it’s still weakened.” The silver mech stilled, looking into the determined optics of the other mech. Prowl met his gaze steadily, then pressed his lips to the saboteur’s fingers. Taking a long, slow cycle of air, the Ops mech finally nodded.
“Alright.”