*stifling gigglefits to type*

[ante_luce]

Comments from my last entry whipped into something vaguely resembling a storyline for your reading pleasure. Minor edits to make things flow and fit and such.

This is crack.

And all your fault.

Credit for insanity goes to: bookscrazygirl, bookworm_faith, drharper, JadeTarma, kyra_neko_rei, nekohitori, sanjuno, vericus and wereinotmyself. (If I've missed anyone, apologies, crack giggles affect my cognitive functions. Ping me and I'

Comments

[ante_luce]

Why is this not stopping? Why am I not stopping? 0_0;;

Optimus: ... How did you deal with this under Sentinel?
Prowl: With high grade. *sip*
Optimus: And you are not fritzed by high grade abuse, how?
Prowl: *is not about to tell Prime his secret* Who says I'm not? I let this continue, didn't I?
Optimus: *stare* *twitch*
Prowl: The overloads really do make up for everything else.

Jazz: Hey, Prowler! Get over here, we wanna try something!
Prowl: They're singing my song. Toodles, Prime.
Optimus: *fizzt*
Prowl: *sigh* Skywarp, 'port him down to Ratchet, please.
SW: Why should I?
Prowl: You can 'port away, so Ratchet can't hit you, and there are a number of different points on a seeker frame, that, when subjected to certain pressures and voltages, will suspend the mech in an extended, drawn out riot of pleasure that ends in an overload when the applying bot wants it to. If you want me to do this to you-
SW (+ Prime): *bamf*
Jazz: ... Why haven't we done that?
Prowl: You aren't a seeker, the points are different for your frame, and you offlined the last time. Then, you had to block the memory because you were fragging useless for anything else.
Jazz: ... Oh.

Because crack is an addiction? *shrugs*

[sanjuno]

SW: *ports in* Medic! *drops Prime on a berth and ports out*
Ratchet: Primus fraggit! Not again. *wings a wrench at Prime for lack of a better target* All the wisdom of past Autobot leaders and you can't handle a little innuendo?
Prime: *fizzt!*
=/=
Spike: *stares at door to command center, from which the most unholy of noises are emerging* What the hell are they doing in there?
Bee: I think Prowl is demonstrating to the Seekers how he managed to snag Jazz and keep him hopelessly devoted.
Carly: ... Wow. Mech must be something else.
Bee: Oh, you have no idea.
Spike: Huh, really? I suppose you never know with the quiet ones. But I still don't see what's so great about it that you'd call off the war.
Carly: You've got a point. I mean, humans have started wars for love and sex, but we've never actually stopped one for that reason.
Spike: I guess it's a Cybertronian thing.
Bee: ... *idea!* Hey Whee~eelja~ack! Can you do me a small favour?
Humans: ??

=Later...=

Seekers: *stupidly happy grins*
Jazz: *same*
Prowl: *exhausted but smug*
Reflector: *caught it all on tape! whee!*
Jazz: Sweet Primus, I can't believe you three outlasted me, what with how pented up you must've been.
Screamer: Just because Megatron's a prude, doesn't mean we are. The three of us are just as active as you.
Cracker: Plus, it's not the first time we've had that little trick pulled on us.
Jazz: ... Someone else knows that trick? Who?
Warp: Soundwave.
Jazz: Really?
Warp; Yeah, but he's got six kids to take care of, so he doesn't have the time to indulge us very often.
Prowl: Does anyone else hear screaming?
All: *look out into hall*
Bee: *very pleased with self*
Spike: Bee! I'm a robot again! Why am I a robot again!? Don't you remember waht happened the last time I was a robot!?
Carly: Hey, I'm a robot too.
Bee: And you both make very nice looking Cybertronians. Now come on, let me explain to you exactly why the war ended the way it did.
Spike: *squeaks when Bee grabs him*
Carly: *intrigued as Bee pulls them both into empty room*
Prowl: Ah. I was wondering when Bumblebee would get around to doing that.
Jazz: Hey yeah. 'Jack fixed the transfer process a while ago didn't he?
Prowl: Mmm, yes. But the humans still need to absorb a significant portion of our spark radiation until the transfer is possible.
Screamer: Interesting...
Warp: I'm kind of jealous.
Jazz: Of Bee? Why?
Warp: Becuase he just bagged himself two complete virgins to play with.
Cracker: ... Dammit. Now I'm jealous.
Screamer & Jazz: *look at each other and drag the others back into the room and shut the door*
Prowl: Again? ... Oh very well.
Jazz & Seekers: Yay!

... Healthier than other addictions, I suppose...

[ante_luce]

Still later...

Spike: *flopped over 'Bee's frame* ... Okay, I think I see your point.
Carly: *also flopped over her mechs, smirking* ... I dunno. I'm not so convinced...
'Bee: *smirk* Wait 'till I show you the rest of it.
Spike: 0_0 'Rest of it'?
'Bee: It can wait 'till we've all caught some recharge. *happy purr*

Over in the Seeker+Porsche+Datsun just onlining afterglow pile...

Jazz: So... How did Soundwave learn that trick?
Prowl: I learnt it from him actually.
Jazz: o_0
Prowl: The mech has six sparklings. He didn't get them on his own. *to Seekers* Has he done *detailed description of incredibly kinky act* to you?
Seekers: O_O ... No.
(Skywarp: That's legal? TC: That's possible? SS: That's unfair. Why did Prowl get to experience it and not us?)
Prowl: Ah. I suppose the sparklings really do take up a lot of time.
Seekers: *pout*
Soundwave: *popping in* Query: Energon dispensers, working again?
Prowl: *waves from pileup* Should be.
Soundwave: Thank you. Additional query: Time to Seekers begging for release?
Prowl: *smirk* Half-breem average.
Soundwave: *impressed look* Blaster: Took whole breem.
Prowl: You tried the back of his neck?
Soundwave: Recommendation: Acceptable. Will use next time.
Prowl: No problem.
Seekers: So... about this thing Soundwave hasn't done to us...
Jazz: My mech, boyos. I get first dibs.
Prowl: Later, Jazz. The Ark doesn't run itself. *wriggles free and saunters out*
SS: ... How does he do that?
Jazz: *shrug* Pit if I know. Mech's like the fragging Energiser Bunny. Quick recharge time and all.
SW: Nice aft too.
TC: A nice aft that's out of our line of sight now :(
SS: Hey, if you can get up and follow him, be my guest.
Jazz: *snuggles close*
TC+SW: Um... We'll just wait here.
SS: Good choice.

[sanjuno]

=Still later yet...=

Spike: Holy slag.
Carly: Okay, I think I'm very thoroughly convinced now.
Bee: Told ya. *smug!*
Spike & Carly: *exchange look* *pounce Bee!*
Bee: *happy purr*

=/=

Screamer: Skyfire! Watch this for me will you? *drops of crate and runs off*
Skyfire: ... *opens crate despite self*
Cassette Cons & Bots: *look up at Skyfire from sleepy pile*
Ratbat: Light off! *wails*
Eject: Tryin' a sleep... *whines*
Skyfire: *closes crate* ... the slag?

=/=

Seekers: *port into Blasters quarters*
Soundwave and Blaster: *in the middle of incedibly kinky act*
Warp: Hey! ^_^
Blaster: Eeep!
Soundwave: Query: Reason for inturruption?
Warp: First off, ther is no slagging way a boom box can outlast us.
Cracker: Secondly, we've arranged for someone trustworthy to watch the kids for the next long while.
Screamer: And thirdly, we've got first dibs. Now you either play with us or go away.
Blaster: *whimpers*
Wave: Seekers: Cute when jealous.
Seekers: We'll show you cute. *pounce*
Blaster: Imma never understand you Cons... *is grabbed* Meep! O.O

=/=

Prime: *humming* Good evening Prowl, Jazz.
Bots: *stare as Prime blithely continues past the two mechs practically interfaceing in the hallway*
Jack: Ratchet, what did you do to him.
Ratchet: Nothing! He just woke up that way. I think that last fritz burned out a connector, and now he's in happy denial land.
Jack: Ah. Maybe it's for the best.

[ante_luce]

Ratchet: Now that the Prime's settled, it's my turn to get some. *grabs Wheeljack*
Jack: ^_^ *glee*

And even more later still...

Skyfire: *sticks head into Blaster's quarters* Blaster, Soundwave, your cassettes want in. Now.
Blaster: *tired & snuggled up with Soundwave* M'kay.
Cassettes: *pile onto both tape players to continue recharge*
Soundwave: *still in recharge, curls around Blaster*
Skyfire: *sigh* *looks about for seekers* *spots seeker pile* Hmmm...

SS: *wakes up* WTFrag! *is tied up with...* *checks* *with ribbon?* 0_0;;
Skyfire: Morning, Starscream.
SS: ... Let me go?
SF: I don't think so. *purr* Because it's occurred to me that while I got to unwrap my present, I never got to play with it. And I wouldn't want the Ops mechs to think I was ungrateful, would I? *devious smirk*
SS: *gasping* ... No, don't want that at all- ah!

TC: 'Warp, where's Screamer?
*shrieking*
SW: There he is! ^_^ He and Skyfire sound busy. Leave 'em alone for now?
TC: *shrug* Why not? We have to find Reflector and process the pictures anyway.

[ante_luce]

At this rate, you're gonna end up with enough for another crack!fic (not that I'm complaining, mind you). ^_^

~JadeTarma

[ante_luce]

Well, I think this one's run its course already, but who knows?