You thought wrong.
And you thought the part of the Wolf was perverted, with that whole hello, little girl monologue, with all that talk of plump thighs and meat.
And you thought that part of Little Red was a bit... "weird", with the he was so nice and all the excited yet/and/or/but scared.
And you thought that the Witch was somewhat appealing, I mean, with the raping of the rutabegas and the champion rampion.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Incomplete.
Proceed...
Narrator: Unfortunately for Rapunzel...
Rapunzel: (offstage) No!
Narrator: ...The witch discovered her affections for the Prince before he could spirit her away.
(WITCH drags RAPUNZEL on. music)
Witch: WHAT DID I CLEARLY SAY?
CHILDREN MUST LISTEN.
(grabs RAPUNZEL's hair, takes out scissors)
Rapunzel: No, no, please!
Witch: WHAT WERE YOU NOT TO DO?
CHILDREN MUST SEE--
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: AND LEARN.
(RAPUNZEL screams in protest)
WHY COULD YOU NOT OBEY?
CHILDREN SHOULD LISTEN.
WHAT HAVE I BEEN TO YOU?
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME BE?
HANDSOME LIKE A PRINCE?
(RAPUNZEL whimpers)
AH, BUT I AM OLD.
I AM UGLY.
I EMBARRASS YOU.
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: YOU ARE ASHAMED OF ME.
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: YOU ARE ASHAMED.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
(music continues under)
Rapunzel: It was lonely atop that tower.
Witch: I was not company enough?
Rapunzel: I am no longer a child. I wish to see the world.
Witch: (tender, but intense) DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE IN THE WORLD?
SOMEONE HAS TO SHIELD YOU FROM THE WORLD.
STAY WITH ME.
PRINCES WAIT THERE IN THE WORLD, IT'S TRUE.
PRINCES, YES, BUT WOLVES AND HUMANS(?), TOO.
STAY AT HOME.
I AM HOME.
WHO OUT THERE COULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN I?
WHAT OUT THERE THAT I CANNOT SUPPLY?
STAY WITH ME.
STAY WITH ME.
THE WORLD IS DARK AND WILD.
STAY A CHILD WHILE YOU CAN BE A CHILD.
WITH ME.
(RAPUNZEL just whimpers; music continues under)
I gave you protection and yet you disobeyed me.
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: Why didn't you tell me you had a visitor?
(RAPUNZEL keeps whimpering; music crescendos)
I will not share you, but I will show you a world you've never seen.
(she cuts RAPUNZEL'S hair)
Rapunzel: No! NO!
(WITCH drags RAPUNZEL off.)
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. <3
I want any of the aforementioned roles so badly. *winknudge*
Even for only that scene.
FANDOM CROSSOVER!
Replace "Witch" with "Erik" and "Rapunzel" with "Raoul".
I'm sorry, I forgot.
I ♥ "Into The Woods"
And you thought that part of Little Red was a bit... "weird", with the he was so nice and all the excited yet/and/or/but scared.
And you thought that the Witch was somewhat appealing, I mean, with the raping of the rutabegas and the champion rampion.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Incomplete.
Proceed...
Narrator: Unfortunately for Rapunzel...
Rapunzel: (offstage) No!
Narrator: ...The witch discovered her affections for the Prince before he could spirit her away.
(WITCH drags RAPUNZEL on. music)
Witch: WHAT DID I CLEARLY SAY?
CHILDREN MUST LISTEN.
(grabs RAPUNZEL's hair, takes out scissors)
Rapunzel: No, no, please!
Witch: WHAT WERE YOU NOT TO DO?
CHILDREN MUST SEE--
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: AND LEARN.
(RAPUNZEL screams in protest)
WHY COULD YOU NOT OBEY?
CHILDREN SHOULD LISTEN.
WHAT HAVE I BEEN TO YOU?
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME BE?
HANDSOME LIKE A PRINCE?
(RAPUNZEL whimpers)
AH, BUT I AM OLD.
I AM UGLY.
I EMBARRASS YOU.
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: YOU ARE ASHAMED OF ME.
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: YOU ARE ASHAMED.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
(music continues under)
Rapunzel: It was lonely atop that tower.
Witch: I was not company enough?
Rapunzel: I am no longer a child. I wish to see the world.
Witch: (tender, but intense) DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE IN THE WORLD?
SOMEONE HAS TO SHIELD YOU FROM THE WORLD.
STAY WITH ME.
PRINCES WAIT THERE IN THE WORLD, IT'S TRUE.
PRINCES, YES, BUT WOLVES AND HUMANS(?), TOO.
STAY AT HOME.
I AM HOME.
WHO OUT THERE COULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN I?
WHAT OUT THERE THAT I CANNOT SUPPLY?
STAY WITH ME.
STAY WITH ME.
THE WORLD IS DARK AND WILD.
STAY A CHILD WHILE YOU CAN BE A CHILD.
WITH ME.
(RAPUNZEL just whimpers; music continues under)
I gave you protection and yet you disobeyed me.
Rapunzel: No!
Witch: Why didn't you tell me you had a visitor?
(RAPUNZEL keeps whimpering; music crescendos)
I will not share you, but I will show you a world you've never seen.
(she cuts RAPUNZEL'S hair)
Rapunzel: No! NO!
(WITCH drags RAPUNZEL off.)
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. <3
I want any of the aforementioned roles so badly. *winknudge*
Even for only that scene.
FANDOM CROSSOVER!
Replace "Witch" with "Erik" and "Rapunzel" with "Raoul".
I'm sorry, I forgot.
I ♥ "Into The Woods"