Perhaps we won't die of Mad Max meets Big Brother
So I got out of I hate everything the world is ending funk. Turns out I just needed some time off uni away from Engineers and maths. It is amazing what a week off can do to one's outlook on life. I have decide to try not listen to the media too much it just upsets me and makes me think the world is ending and there is no hope. I just don't like seeing humans making the same mistakes we have made through out history. When are we going to learn from our mistakes and make a better way to form societies. Oh well, I am not going to get worked up about it. I will do my bit when I finish this engineering degree. I look forward to being able to do something meaningful with out anyone knowing I am doing it. First I need to get through the maths and physics.
I have also noticed that I feel a lot more clear and almost optimistic this week. I think it has a great deal to do with not having any caffeine. I hope my highly strungness has gone down a few notches. I need to practise being mindful about being present and not freaking out. I hope I can continue to not indulge in caffeine when classes recommence. I think it helps a great deal in my general outlook and ability to think clearly. I am also attempting to go on diet. YIKES I haven't been on one since my crazy eating stuff. so over the past 3 years I have stopped my binge purge behaviour but I have stacked on a considerable amount of weight. I have been exercising pretty regularly this year and I am not shifting the weight. I am going to do a diet for a little while so that I can get to a HEALTHY weight and then I hope the exercise will help me maintain it. I think I can finally do this with out being crazy about it and thinking that my worth is some how tied into the number on the scale.
I saw Ben Kweller on Saturday with Patricia. Oh Mercy supported and I think given some time they will get pretty decent. Ben Kweller wasn't as energetic as I have seen him in the past. I still had a good time and I like his music. I love going to the Metro, I love live music and it was very uplifting doing that. I hope I get to some more gigs soon. I know it is probably unlikely between uni and work but it is very kind thing to do for my soul. Sadly though I am down yet another gig buddy, Patricia told me that she has been offered a Job in Darwin. I was hoping to visit her in December with my friend Jesse from Seattle. I am not sure he is coming out then any more.
I have noticed amongst many of my friends and acquaintances a very strong anti-Sydney vibe. Some of them feel that Australia in general is too isolated from the world and we aren't engaged in world events. Some feel that Sydney is a segregated city that the cultures do not interact. Others Say that Sydney/Australia has no culture. All feel that Sydney is too fast pace and expects a lot from its inhabitants. This makes me sad because I feel very at home in Sydney. I could see myself moving somewhere with a slower pace but I think Sydney has a really interesting culture. I also think people for the most part are very interested and accepting of each other. Maybe that is said with the ignorance of a white person who has never had racism aimed at her. (Anti American sentiment does not count) I really love this city in all its irony. I wish racism didn't exist but I don't think we have any more or any less than every other country in the world. Unfortunately it seems that the way we human beings have been governing ourselves is with fear, and it is very easy to be afraid of things that seem unknowable or different. I think that is one of the nice things about Sydney is that even though things start off as unknown people in general are open enough to learn about things that are different to what they have experienced in the past. I hope economic fears do not breed racism. This country consists of 50% new Australians and i think it is something to be proud of.
Perhaps given my history of being moved to look for that greener grass, I don't see the point in moving to a fantasy of a place. People are people. Sure subtle differences in culture can make a considerable difference on one feeling at home but over all the way to make life better comes from changes to ones self and impacting one's surrounds. I have not seen many moves turn out the way people envisage them. In saying that any ideas if I should go on exchange and where to?
I have also noticed that I feel a lot more clear and almost optimistic this week. I think it has a great deal to do with not having any caffeine. I hope my highly strungness has gone down a few notches. I need to practise being mindful about being present and not freaking out. I hope I can continue to not indulge in caffeine when classes recommence. I think it helps a great deal in my general outlook and ability to think clearly. I am also attempting to go on diet. YIKES I haven't been on one since my crazy eating stuff. so over the past 3 years I have stopped my binge purge behaviour but I have stacked on a considerable amount of weight. I have been exercising pretty regularly this year and I am not shifting the weight. I am going to do a diet for a little while so that I can get to a HEALTHY weight and then I hope the exercise will help me maintain it. I think I can finally do this with out being crazy about it and thinking that my worth is some how tied into the number on the scale.
I saw Ben Kweller on Saturday with Patricia. Oh Mercy supported and I think given some time they will get pretty decent. Ben Kweller wasn't as energetic as I have seen him in the past. I still had a good time and I like his music. I love going to the Metro, I love live music and it was very uplifting doing that. I hope I get to some more gigs soon. I know it is probably unlikely between uni and work but it is very kind thing to do for my soul. Sadly though I am down yet another gig buddy, Patricia told me that she has been offered a Job in Darwin. I was hoping to visit her in December with my friend Jesse from Seattle. I am not sure he is coming out then any more.
I have noticed amongst many of my friends and acquaintances a very strong anti-Sydney vibe. Some of them feel that Australia in general is too isolated from the world and we aren't engaged in world events. Some feel that Sydney is a segregated city that the cultures do not interact. Others Say that Sydney/Australia has no culture. All feel that Sydney is too fast pace and expects a lot from its inhabitants. This makes me sad because I feel very at home in Sydney. I could see myself moving somewhere with a slower pace but I think Sydney has a really interesting culture. I also think people for the most part are very interested and accepting of each other. Maybe that is said with the ignorance of a white person who has never had racism aimed at her. (Anti American sentiment does not count) I really love this city in all its irony. I wish racism didn't exist but I don't think we have any more or any less than every other country in the world. Unfortunately it seems that the way we human beings have been governing ourselves is with fear, and it is very easy to be afraid of things that seem unknowable or different. I think that is one of the nice things about Sydney is that even though things start off as unknown people in general are open enough to learn about things that are different to what they have experienced in the past. I hope economic fears do not breed racism. This country consists of 50% new Australians and i think it is something to be proud of.
Perhaps given my history of being moved to look for that greener grass, I don't see the point in moving to a fantasy of a place. People are people. Sure subtle differences in culture can make a considerable difference on one feeling at home but over all the way to make life better comes from changes to ones self and impacting one's surrounds. I have not seen many moves turn out the way people envisage them. In saying that any ideas if I should go on exchange and where to?