[Nakazawa]
[GEN] LINES (FOR GO AND MANGA)
osmalic
It's been years since Hikaru has been to Akari's room, so he finds it a little strange to see how the old dolls have been replaced by CD's and books, all being packed up in a neat carton boxes, in the midst of packing up so she can move to her new apartment.
"I'm throwing out my lamp," she's explaining to him. "I don't really need it since I have light and I'm the only one living in that apartment anyway."
Hikaru snorts, mopping the sweat off his forehead. When Akari asked him to help her pack, he didn't think it meant carrying boxes and unscrewing bookshelves while she sits on the floor, flipping through her books. "You should think about throwing that stupid radio out," he mutters.
Akari makes a gurgling sound. "But I like my CD player," she protests.
Hikaru rolls his eyes. He always thought girls like pretty gadgets that always comes out every six months, but apparently Akari likes those ancient tape decks that records CD's, even if no one's selling them anymore except for albums. She's even thrown out her MD player.
"At least think about throwing some useless stuff away," he moans, flopping on the floor. "Like these stupid manga of yours-OW!" He rubs his head where a particularly large tankoubon hits. "What?"
"My manga are not stupid, Hikaru!" she screeches.
Hikaru snorts, sitting up. "Akari, I don't even know where I'm supposed to read next. They're too girly and they talk about emotions. There's too many flowers and not even lines. And everyone's thinking so much-"
"The characters all thinks a lot in your stupid Shounen Jump," Akari grumbles. She's flipping through another set of tankoubon. "And you're the one who keeps buying them every frigging week."
"At least it has clean panels," Hikaru counters. He opens the book, flips through some pages before tossing it randomly to another box. "Besides, I don't collect them, I just buy them then throw them away. I don't…you know. Collect. Like you. Yuck." He makes a face, then gets another book slammed on his head for his trouble.
"You know, it won't kill you to try reading them," Akari counters. "I mean, I read a lot of Jump too. I've been following a lot of their titles, and they actually have a good storyline…" She trails off, keeping her gaze squarely out the window.
Hikaru stares at her stupidly for a moment, then feels something-the light breeze, the ground, fucking gravity maybe-shift and he scrambles before yelping, "Oh my god. You're a fujoshi! You're so totally a fujoshi and YOU'RE NOT AN OTAKU, ARE YOU?!"
Akari glares at him, making a small sound before she interrupts his panicking, "Look, it's not like that."
"How can't it be not like that?" Hikaru says, because it all adds up but there's no equation. He sputters, "Akari, you're too cool to be an otaku-"
"Yeah, because you're so normal with your Shounen Jump," Akari interrupts, rolling her eyes.
"It's not like I keep them," he protests. "I throw them away. Weekly. They're disposable. But…you don't have cosplay clothes in your closet, right?" When Akari shrugs, he gives out a weak, "Oh, no."
"It's nothing special," Akari says defensively, sitting back and toppling over a tower of manga over her head. They pause for a while, as Akari shrieks and Hikaru laughs, but then she ignores the mess and nudges his knee with her toes. "Don't you ever feel like your life is one big chapter with a lot of panels?"
"No," Hikaru tells her truthfully. Because he sees life in go stones attacking and defending against someone who can be an enemy or a friend. And he sees it in styles of play. Life is something portrayed in patterns of choices. It was what Sai…what Sai…
Akari watches him for a moment, as if waiting for him to freak out. When he doesn't, she says softly, "You know how you read something and you think that maybe you don't agree with everything that the characters did, or you think that you would have done the same thing? It's a little like connection, with what the writers are doing. Like…like being taught something before I go on my own way. It's why I stay with them, you know. I like growing older with writers and artists. It…makes me think that we're connected." Her voice breaks a little, and it's weird because it's also awkward.
Hikaru wrinkles his nose, but he thinks that he maybe understands it. Just a little. Because go is like that, isn't it? But Sai and go isn't like manga and otakus, and maybe Hikaru's overreacting, but still Akari's been his best friend for years, and it stings that he doesn't know everything about her as much as he thought.
"Hikaru?" Akari's voice cuts into his internal monologue.
"Yeah," he says sharply.
Akari sighs, nudges him again with her toe. "This is going to be weird forever, isn't it?" she asks bluntly.
It makes Hikaru pause. Akari likes that she grows old with writers and artists; Hikaru knows he'll be growing up with people who love go and will play it forever. Growing old with something unfamiliar doesn't mean they have to grow apart. "Nah," he says, nudging back with his knee. "Just…something I didn't really think about, you know?"
"If it's any consolation," Akari offers, "I can let you read some of my BL novels. Or my Jump doujinshi."
"Oh god," Hikaru groans, letting his head thump on the wooden chair behind his back. "I like you, Akari, and you're my best friend, but I'm not going to get into that. It'd be too weird."
"They're better quality than your hentai manga," she says cheerfully.
Hikaru's head snaps towards her and he yelps, "I do not have a hentai manga!"
She raises an eyebrow. "Hm."
"I don't." Because living with a ghost and obsessing about go while growing up kind of pushed the thought away from Hikaru's mind. Oh, he's seen them, but it was always embarrassing, and Sai turned all polite and sincere that it was always awkward and…god, Akari is melting his brains. With stupid ideas. Talking about hentai with Akari shouldn't be making him roll his eyes, but he can't help it. "Can't we just…aw man, you crushed that box! You're going to carry all of them downstairs. I'm not your house mover!"
Akari laughs and dumps a bunch of pillowcases over his head, then says brightly, "Oh, hey, what you said earlier." She waggles her eyebrows. "So, you think I'm cool?"
Hikaru groans.
--
On his way home, Hikaru stops because he suddenly thinks-
How Sai's story can be turned into a really girly manga. With flowers and butterflies and everything. His story is sad, but Hikaru hopes it's also a bit funny towards the middle, when Hikaru enters his life. If he starts seeing the world in Sai's eyes, it might be so easy to think about how someone can make choices that may seem difficult for others, but still managed to touch the lives of so many.
Maybe, if Hikaru turns to writing manga, he'll write the story in Sai's perspective. It's certainly more interesting to see everything in his eyes. The ending will suck (and Hikaru's heart still clenches at the memory), but maybe Sai was happy at the end, because he touched Hikaru and everyone else.
Hikaru likes to think so. There'll definitely be flowers when Sai leaves. Flowers and butterflies.
He feels immensely better once he figures this out and he's punching Akari's number again even though she only lives a few houses away. He wants her to know that maybe he understands her a little…without actually saying the words.
He tells her, "I'll be back tomorrow to bring you to your ugly new apartment."
He buys a hentai manga on the way home.
osmalic
It's been years since Hikaru has been to Akari's room, so he finds it a little strange to see how the old dolls have been replaced by CD's and books, all being packed up in a neat carton boxes, in the midst of packing up so she can move to her new apartment.
"I'm throwing out my lamp," she's explaining to him. "I don't really need it since I have light and I'm the only one living in that apartment anyway."
Hikaru snorts, mopping the sweat off his forehead. When Akari asked him to help her pack, he didn't think it meant carrying boxes and unscrewing bookshelves while she sits on the floor, flipping through her books. "You should think about throwing that stupid radio out," he mutters.
Akari makes a gurgling sound. "But I like my CD player," she protests.
Hikaru rolls his eyes. He always thought girls like pretty gadgets that always comes out every six months, but apparently Akari likes those ancient tape decks that records CD's, even if no one's selling them anymore except for albums. She's even thrown out her MD player.
"At least think about throwing some useless stuff away," he moans, flopping on the floor. "Like these stupid manga of yours-OW!" He rubs his head where a particularly large tankoubon hits. "What?"
"My manga are not stupid, Hikaru!" she screeches.
Hikaru snorts, sitting up. "Akari, I don't even know where I'm supposed to read next. They're too girly and they talk about emotions. There's too many flowers and not even lines. And everyone's thinking so much-"
"The characters all thinks a lot in your stupid Shounen Jump," Akari grumbles. She's flipping through another set of tankoubon. "And you're the one who keeps buying them every frigging week."
"At least it has clean panels," Hikaru counters. He opens the book, flips through some pages before tossing it randomly to another box. "Besides, I don't collect them, I just buy them then throw them away. I don't…you know. Collect. Like you. Yuck." He makes a face, then gets another book slammed on his head for his trouble.
"You know, it won't kill you to try reading them," Akari counters. "I mean, I read a lot of Jump too. I've been following a lot of their titles, and they actually have a good storyline…" She trails off, keeping her gaze squarely out the window.
Hikaru stares at her stupidly for a moment, then feels something-the light breeze, the ground, fucking gravity maybe-shift and he scrambles before yelping, "Oh my god. You're a fujoshi! You're so totally a fujoshi and YOU'RE NOT AN OTAKU, ARE YOU?!"
Akari glares at him, making a small sound before she interrupts his panicking, "Look, it's not like that."
"How can't it be not like that?" Hikaru says, because it all adds up but there's no equation. He sputters, "Akari, you're too cool to be an otaku-"
"Yeah, because you're so normal with your Shounen Jump," Akari interrupts, rolling her eyes.
"It's not like I keep them," he protests. "I throw them away. Weekly. They're disposable. But…you don't have cosplay clothes in your closet, right?" When Akari shrugs, he gives out a weak, "Oh, no."
"It's nothing special," Akari says defensively, sitting back and toppling over a tower of manga over her head. They pause for a while, as Akari shrieks and Hikaru laughs, but then she ignores the mess and nudges his knee with her toes. "Don't you ever feel like your life is one big chapter with a lot of panels?"
"No," Hikaru tells her truthfully. Because he sees life in go stones attacking and defending against someone who can be an enemy or a friend. And he sees it in styles of play. Life is something portrayed in patterns of choices. It was what Sai…what Sai…
Akari watches him for a moment, as if waiting for him to freak out. When he doesn't, she says softly, "You know how you read something and you think that maybe you don't agree with everything that the characters did, or you think that you would have done the same thing? It's a little like connection, with what the writers are doing. Like…like being taught something before I go on my own way. It's why I stay with them, you know. I like growing older with writers and artists. It…makes me think that we're connected." Her voice breaks a little, and it's weird because it's also awkward.
Hikaru wrinkles his nose, but he thinks that he maybe understands it. Just a little. Because go is like that, isn't it? But Sai and go isn't like manga and otakus, and maybe Hikaru's overreacting, but still Akari's been his best friend for years, and it stings that he doesn't know everything about her as much as he thought.
"Hikaru?" Akari's voice cuts into his internal monologue.
"Yeah," he says sharply.
Akari sighs, nudges him again with her toe. "This is going to be weird forever, isn't it?" she asks bluntly.
It makes Hikaru pause. Akari likes that she grows old with writers and artists; Hikaru knows he'll be growing up with people who love go and will play it forever. Growing old with something unfamiliar doesn't mean they have to grow apart. "Nah," he says, nudging back with his knee. "Just…something I didn't really think about, you know?"
"If it's any consolation," Akari offers, "I can let you read some of my BL novels. Or my Jump doujinshi."
"Oh god," Hikaru groans, letting his head thump on the wooden chair behind his back. "I like you, Akari, and you're my best friend, but I'm not going to get into that. It'd be too weird."
"They're better quality than your hentai manga," she says cheerfully.
Hikaru's head snaps towards her and he yelps, "I do not have a hentai manga!"
She raises an eyebrow. "Hm."
"I don't." Because living with a ghost and obsessing about go while growing up kind of pushed the thought away from Hikaru's mind. Oh, he's seen them, but it was always embarrassing, and Sai turned all polite and sincere that it was always awkward and…god, Akari is melting his brains. With stupid ideas. Talking about hentai with Akari shouldn't be making him roll his eyes, but he can't help it. "Can't we just…aw man, you crushed that box! You're going to carry all of them downstairs. I'm not your house mover!"
Akari laughs and dumps a bunch of pillowcases over his head, then says brightly, "Oh, hey, what you said earlier." She waggles her eyebrows. "So, you think I'm cool?"
Hikaru groans.
--
On his way home, Hikaru stops because he suddenly thinks-
How Sai's story can be turned into a really girly manga. With flowers and butterflies and everything. His story is sad, but Hikaru hopes it's also a bit funny towards the middle, when Hikaru enters his life. If he starts seeing the world in Sai's eyes, it might be so easy to think about how someone can make choices that may seem difficult for others, but still managed to touch the lives of so many.
Maybe, if Hikaru turns to writing manga, he'll write the story in Sai's perspective. It's certainly more interesting to see everything in his eyes. The ending will suck (and Hikaru's heart still clenches at the memory), but maybe Sai was happy at the end, because he touched Hikaru and everyone else.
Hikaru likes to think so. There'll definitely be flowers when Sai leaves. Flowers and butterflies.
He feels immensely better once he figures this out and he's punching Akari's number again even though she only lives a few houses away. He wants her to know that maybe he understands her a little…without actually saying the words.
He tells her, "I'll be back tomorrow to bring you to your ugly new apartment."
He buys a hentai manga on the way home.