[Bleuler]
by stillskies
Someone That I Used To Know
He finds out that Kiyoharu is in an accident through Go Weekly. It’s a small blurb with little detail, nestled in the back between the birthday announcements and a speculation piece from a high school reporter about the nature of Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira’s relationship. The notice is less than one hundred words, informing readers that Yashiro Kiyoharu-sensei was involved in an accident and will be taking a leave of absence to recover. It doesn’t say what hospital he was taken to, when the accident occurred, or even what the accident was. It certainly doesn’t say how serious his injuries are, although Yeong-ha can guess that they are fairly serious if Kiyoharu is willing to take time off to recover.
He spends the rest of his flight to Tokyo alternating between livid and worried. It’s not that he expected anyone to call him; the only person who knows of his relationship with Kiyoharu is Su-yeong. It probably wouldn’t have occurred to Shindou to contact Su-yeong about the accident; Shindou’s brilliance is played out in black and white on kaya, not on forethought and timely communication. There is little amusement in the thought that Shindou will get around to telling Su-yeong, but by that time, Kiyoharu will probably be well.
He rereads the announcement over and over, trying to glean any detail that he can. His phone is in his hand, and as soon as the pilot announces their descent, he is turning it on. The flight attendant gives him a disapproving look, but he smiles apologetically and she flushes and looks the other way. There is an e-mail from Su-yeong waiting.
Yeong-ha,
Don’t freak out, but it looks like Yashiro is in the hospital. Touya-san e-mailed me after you left. The hospital details are attached.
--Su-yeong
Touya, it seems, has the decency to alert everyone else. Without another thought, he opens the attachment. The person seated next to him stands, and Yeong-ha tucks his phone into his pocket and reaches into the overhead bin to get his carry-on.
***
He has the cab driver stop by Kiyoharu’s so he can drop his luggage off before going to the hospital. A fifteen minute drive stretches to thirty due to traffic, and Yeong-ha keeps looking at his phone, checking the time over and over. By the time they reach the hospital, the cab driver looks terrified and Yeong-ha wonders what his face must look like. He pays the driver and heads for the hospital entrance.
Hospitals always smell like antiseptic and lemon. He thinks the scent is supposed to be comforting, but the combination makes him nauseous, though that could simply be the knot of worry tightening in his gut. He gets directions from the nurse’s station. He has a lie at the tip of his tongue - he’s Kiyoharu’s cousin - but the nurse simply gives him the room number and turns back to her computer.
The worry lessens; if he can already have visitors, there can’t be anything seriously wrong with him. He’s still not sure what happened, but Kiyoharu will fill him in. By the time he reaches room 417, he has several quips that will have Kiyoharu glaring at him within moments. He’s smiling when he opens the door, and the first thing he sees is not Kiyoharu, but Shindou Hikaru, who is staring at him like Yeong-ha has suddenly sprouted a second head.
“What,” Shindou says, eyes wide, “are you doing here?”
Yeong-ha looks to the right, and, sure enough, Touya Akira is sitting in the guest chair, looking only somewhat shocked. “Good afternoon, Touya-san,” Yeong-ha says politely, pointedly ignoring Shindou. He would look over to see his expression, but Kiyoharu is right behind Touya, eyebrows furrowed, like he can’t figure out why Yeong-ha would show up here.
A bruise covers the bottom half of his left cheek and a bandage is wrapped around his head. There are spots of bright red against the white bandages. Yeong-ha takes a step forward, Shindou and Touya forgotten. Shindou, however, hasn’t forgotten him and steps in his way.
“What are you doing here?” Shindou asks again, glaring.
“Su-yeong asked me to pay a visit Yashiro, to send his regards,” Yeong-ha replies smoothly, the lie slipping easily off his tongue. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of Kiyoharu the entire time.
Touya is at Shindou’s side, a hand resting lightly on his shoulder. “Let’s get something to eat, Shindou,” he says gently.
“But,” Shindou splutters, turning to look at Touya. Yeong-ha takes the opportunity to take the last few steps to the bed. He barely registers Touya telling him they’ll be back and the door closing. Kiyoharu is looking at him, confused, and Yeong-ha reaches for his hand.
Kiyoharu pulls away and Yeong-ha remembers that Touya and Shindou could walk back in at any moment. Rather than pressing the issue, he sits in the chair Touya vacated and leans back.
“So,” he says, “what did you do? Fall down a flight of stairs?”
He expects Kiyoharu to glare, but he stares blankly instead. “I don’t remember.”
“You don’t remember?” he asks, leaning forward to touch the bandage, pulling away when Kiyoharu flinches. “How hard did you hit your head?”
“Hard enough to forget just about everything,” Kiyoharu retorts. “Now, who the hell are you?”
***
"Amnesia," Touya explains when they return. "They think it's a side-effect from when he fell down the stairs and was knocked unconscious a few days ago."
Kiyoharu is sleeping and Yeong-ha has to fight the impulse to reach over and take his hand. There are several reasons Kiyoharu doesn't want his friends to know - Shindou's expected reaction not-withstanding - and even if Kiyoharu doesn't remember that they are in a relationship, he'd be no more thankful for Yeong-ha's public revelation now than he'd be if he did remember.
"Is it permanent?" he asks, voice nonchalant. It wouldn't do any good to give anything away.
Touya shrugs. "The doctor isn't sure. Yashiro has begun to remember little things since he woke up, but there's no way to tell if he'll remember everything, or when."
Yeong-ha nods. Kiyoharu is twitching in his sleep, and Touya moves forward to untangle the blanket. Kiyoharu stops fidgeting. He takes his eyes off of Kiyoharu to look at Shindou, who is looking out the window, ignoring Yeong-ha's existence. Mature, he thinks before returning his attention to Touya. He's about to ask what Kiyoharu has remembered thus far when someone's phone goes off.
He vaguely recognizes the tune, the memory just out of reach. He almost remembers when Kiyoharu shoots straight up, eyes wide. He's got the blankets off by the time Shindou reaches him and grabs his arm.
The World Ends With You. That's what it's called. The song is from one of Kiyoharu's video games, the one that he was ready to throw against the wall the last time Kiyoharu was in Korea. He can't remember the name of the song, but he remembers Kiyoharu's narrowed eyes and the final boss that Kiyoharu spent five days trying to kill. The soundtrack was grating on his nerves by the end of it, and he remembers Kiyoharu laughing and saying he'll make it Yeong-ha's ringtone.
Touya is looking at the phone and frowning. "It's an alarm. It says, 'if you haven't left by now, you're going to be late, and he's going to mock the shit out of you. again.'"
"Wasn't he supposed to pick up his mystery boyfriend today?" Shindou asks when Kiyoharu is lying in bed again. "He was supposed to introduce us."
Yeong-ha keeps his expression carefully neutral. It seems Kiyoharu programmed the wrong time into his phone. Had Kiyoharu not fallen down a flight of stairs earlier, he would have been an hour late, at best. If he left when the alarm went off, he'd have been even later.
"We should probably call the guy, let him know what's going on," Shindou suggests, taking the phone from Touya and presumably scrolling through the contacts.
"Don't," Kiyoharu says, making a feeble attempt to grab his phone.
Shindou dodges out of the way and looks up. "What's his name?"
Kiyoharu looks panicked, and Yeong-ha thinks for a moment that he's remembered. "I don't know," Kiyoharu growls, frustrated.
"Fine," Shindou says amicably. "Then I'll just call the only person whose name I don't recognize. And that would be… YH." Yeong-ha has a second to realize that's probably him before Shindou presses the call button.
It takes a moment for the call to connect - after all, Yeong-ha's number is international, not local - but Kiyoharu's ringtone starts playing. Loudly. He makes no move to grab it; the cat, as it was, is out of the bag, and there is nothing left to do but wait for Shindou and Touya to make the connection.
Shindou hangs up and Yeong-ha's phone immediately stops ringing. He sees it the moment Shindou realizes it: the wide eyes, the disbelieving set of his mouth. Shindou looks down at Kiyoharu's phone, then up to Yeong-ha and back again. He shakes his head and presses call again. A moment later, Yeong-ha's phone begins ringing again.
"My number," Yeong-ha replies in a bored tone of voice, "is international. There is no need to continue calling it and charging Kiyoharu's bill."
"No way," Shindou says quietly. "No freaking way. You? You're his boyfriend?"
Touya doesn't look the slightest bit surprised, which is interesting. He wonders if Kiyoharu had confided in Touya; they are close, from what Yeong-ha knows. As close as Kiyoharu and Su-yeong. Touya moves over to Shindou and takes the phone away, hanging up.
Yeong-ha's phone stops ringing.
Kiyoharu is looking at him with a strange expression, almost like he's trying to remember, and Yeong-ha steps closer and takes his hand. This time, Kiyoharu doesn't pull away.
Silence fills the room for the moment, and Yeong-ha takes the opportunity to turn away from Shindou, who is still gawking, and Touya. Kiyoharu is still looking at him, and Yeong-ha sits on the bed next to him, forcing Kiyoharu to scoot over to make room.
"This is why he didn't tell you," Touya is saying quietly, and that confirms Yeong-ha's suspicions. "He knew you were going to make a complete idiot of yourself."
"Wait," Shindou says loudly. "You knew? And you didn't tell me?"
Touya sighs. "Why do you think he was learning Korean, Shindou?"
"To talk to Su-yeong!"
"Hong's Japanese is better than yours," Touya retorts, patience wearing thin.
"It is not!"
"So," Kiyoharu says quietly, just loud enough for Yeong-ha to hear him over Shindou's barely contained shrieking. "You're supposed to be my boyfriend, huh?"
Yeong-ha shrugs. "I wasn't aware that we were using those labels."
"I have pretty shitty taste, then," Kiyoharu says, but he's smiling a little. It's enough to give Yeong-ha just a bit of hope. "At least you're pretty."
He laughs.
***
The tournament starts the next day. Ogata-sensei meets him at the door, a predatory smile on his lips. Yeong-ha matches the smile and glides by, inclining his head in greeting. It's a game they've been playing since the Hokuto Cup. As far as Yeong-ha knows, Ogata-sensei is only interested in the chase, and Yeong-ha is happy to oblige on most days. Today, however, is not one of them.
So, when he passes right by without making conversation, Ogata-sensei understands and leaves him alone. An Taeson is waiting just ahead, looking impatiently at his watch. When he catches sight of Yeong-ha, he relaxes and rushes forward to meet him.
"It seems," An begins without preamble, "that one of the Japanese participants has been hospitalized and will not be able to play. He was supposed to be your opponent, so you have a bye for the day."
"Is that so," Yeong-ha replies. "Then I'll take my leave." He has barely turned around when An grabs his arm.
"You're going to sit here and watch," An says. "Quietly. No international incidents."
"Wouldn't that be easier to prevent if I wasn't here?" he helpfully points out.
An is about to say something when Shindou Hikaru enters the waiting room. Immediately, Shindou is stalking towards him and An is shaking his head, clearly wondering what, exactly, it is that Yeong-ha's done this time.
"We're going to talk," Shindou says, and Yeong-ha mentally applauds Shindou's attempt at civility. "Now."
***
The look on Shindou's face could possibly kill a lesser man. Fortunately, Yeong-ha is a master at bored indifference, which seems to be rage's weakness. By the time they find an empty room, Shindou's rage has thinned out to anger and confusion; these, Yeong-ha can deal with. It isn't as though he's never been on the receiving end of Shindou's rage - he remembers with some satisfaction the scandal An was referring to - and he has survived it in the past.
Shindou is staring at him now, so Yeong-ha sighs and takes a seat. "Whatever would you like to discuss, Shindou?"
"When?"
Yeong-ha blinks. He knows what Shindou is referring to, but the urge to mess with him is too tempting to ignore. "Whenever you'd care to begin."
"You're an ass," Shindou hisses. "When did you start screwing with Yashiro?"
He toys with the idea of telling the truth - that Kiyoharu came onto him first, that first tournament after the Hokuto Cup - but he decides that the fewer details he arms Shindou with, the better. Besides, he's sure Shindou's referring to his and Kiyoharu's relationship, not when they started having sex, which is still relatively new. He settles for telling Shindou "I don't see how any of this is your business."
"This is my business," Shindou retorts. "Yashiro is my friend and I don't want him to end up as one of your little-"
"Kiyoharu doesn't need your protection," Yeong-ha cuts in. Shindou flinches at Yeong-ha's use of Kiyoharu's given name. "He's an adult and can make his own decisions."
Shindou snorts. "Yeah, well, sometimes he can be an idiot. He can't see that you're screwing with him, so I'm telling you to leave him alone. That's what friends do."
"Whether I'm screwing with him or not remains to be seen," Yeong-ha replies icily. Generally, he's better at brushing Shindou off, but he's starting to get on his nerves. "Now, if you'll excuse me."
Yeong-ha's words seem to take the wind out of Shindou's sails, but before Shindou can respond, Yeong-ha is out the door.
***
Kiyoharu's apartment is sparse. There is an old couch and a makeshift coffee table in the living room, two stools next to the counter in the kitchen, and a mattress that barely fits the two of them unless they sleep draped over each other, which they learned the hard way the first time Yeong-ha stayed the night. The most expensive thing in Kiyoharu's apartment is his goban, which he bought himself when he beat Shindou in the Honinbou league qualifiers last year.
The apartment is empty and cold, and Yeong-ha has been trying for months to convince Kiyoharu to get anything with a bit of color to put on the walls.
When he had dropped off his luggage the first day, he had simply placed the suitcase inside the door; getting to Kiyoharu was more important than unpacking and mixing his things in the closet where Kiyoharu could potentially pull one of Yeong-ha's expensive shirts off the hanger and put it on. When he had returned later that night, he had been too exhausted to notice much of anything except that Kiyoharu's fridge was empty of anything remotely edible.
He leaves the Ki-in and heads straight for Kiyoharu's apartment, and when he gets there, he notices it for the first time. There is a painting on the wall near the hallway. It's not anything Yeong-ha would have chosen, but the print suits Kiyoharu: splashes of bright colors covering the canvas, with no care for patterns or lines. The print is one big, colorful mess.
Now that he looks carefully, he can see other things, little details that most people wouldn't notice - a new yellow vase, a blue pillow on the old couch. There is a men's fashion magazine on the coffee table, and Yeong-ha flips through, only semi-surprised to find things circled and little notes next to them: maybe for birthday? or would look good with that stupid green shirt he likes.
Little touches here and there that make Yeong-ha smile, because he can recall conversations about each and every one. Maybe not about the specific item - he would never have suggested bright blue throw pillows with Kiyoharu's black couch, after all - but similar items. They look out of place, but it only reminds Yeong-ha of his apartment, all sleek and fashionable with a shelf of video games and cheesy B-rated American horror films and a fridge full of Coke.
For the first time since he heard about Kiyoharu's accident, he wonders whether or not things will go back to normal.
***
There is a man Yeong-ha doesn't recognize leaving Kiyoharu's room when he arrives. The man gives him a brief look, as though assessing him, before nodding slightly and hurrying down the hall. Yeong-ha frowns, because the man looks a little like Kiyoharu, and if that's true, then there is only one person he could be. When he opens the door and sees Kiyoharu's shell-shocked face, he's certain the man who left was Kiyoharu's father.
"Good evening," Yeong-ha says, taking the empty chair near the bed.
"Yeong-ha, right?" Kiyoharu says uncertainly, like he's afraid that he's wrong. Yeong-ha nods, and suddenly Kiyoharu is grabbing his hand and staring at the door. "That was my father."
Yeong-ha doesn’t say anything, because he's not really sure what to say. He has dozens of memories of Kiyoharu talking about his parents, and while Kiyoharu never says anything negative about them, always makes excuses for them, Yeong-ha is sure that they care little for their son. There are few Go players in their generation who are better than Kiyoharu, and while Go Weekly might focus on Shindou and Touya, Kiyoharu's name is in there often enough.
"I didn't recognize him," Kiyoharu says quietly. "My own father, and I didn't recognize him."
He wants to say something, anything, but the only thing he can think of is you're better off not recognizing him, and that is most assuredly not what Kiyoharu wants to hear. So he stays quiet and holds Kiyoharu's hand.
"I should have felt something, right?"
The question hangs in the air until Yeong-ha realizes that Kiyoharu expects an answer. "Who knows?"
Kiyoharu finally looks at him and rolls his eyes. "You're always like that," he says. "Ask for a straight answer and get a question in return."
"And how would you know that?" Yeong-ha asks, because Shindou wouldn't have told him that and Touya doesn’t know him past his reputation. He remembers Touya saying that Kiyoharu has been remembering things, but it's too much to think that Kiyoharu is remembering him.
"I remember… things," Kiyoharu says uncertainly. "Mostly little things, but I remember some things about you. Like how you hate Coke, and you have ridiculously expensive taste." Kiyoharu frowns for a moment, then smirks. "You have Coke stocked in your fridge, though, for when I come over."
Small things, just like he said, but Yeong-ha knows that every tiny thing is important. "Speaking of that vile poison, I brought you a can." He pulls the can from his jacket pocket and hands it over. The can is still cold, but just barely. Cold Coke is horrid enough, but lukewarm Coke is unpalatable. Which only explains Kiyoharu's tendency to drink it that way.
Kiyoharu lights up and takes the can, pulling his hand from Yeong-ha's and popping the tab. He takes a long draught and sighs happily. "God, I needed that."
Yeong-ha shakes his head. "Your body, however, did not."
"You brought it for me," Kiyoharu points out, taking another drink.
"My mistake," he says blandly, and Kiyoharu grins.
"You don't live here, right?" Kiyoharu asks a moment later. "You'll be… leaving soon."
Yeong-ha nods. "I leave the day after the tournament ends."
"Tournament?" Kiyoharu's face furrows, trying to remember. "Go tournament, right?" When Yeong-ha nods, Kiyoharu sighs. "Right. So you're here, what? Another two days?"
"Three," he corrects.
"Three days. Man, I've got great timing, huh?"
Yeong-ha chuckles. "There's a tournament in Seoul next month," he says, not sure if he's reminding Kiyoharu, or informing him.
"I'm supposed to go to that, right? Shindou was saying something about it when he came by earlier."
"You bought your ticket last week," Yeong-ha says.
"Well, damn," Kiyoharu says cheerfully. "Guess I'll have to remember how to play."
***
The next few days follow the same pattern: tournament, hospital, tournament, hospital. He can't get out of the banquets, though he tries. An's glares and admonitions have gotten stronger by the day, and Yeong-ha idly wonders when he'll crack from the stress.
Shindou and Touya are at the banquets, too. Touya is polite and civil and makes conversation, while Shindou glares and rolls his eyes and glares some more.
"Have you been to see Yashiro recently?" Touya asks, and Yeong-ha is sure that he knows the answer, but the lull in conversation seems to be making Shindou antsy, and Touya has a vindictive streak as wide as Yeong-ha's. He's not sure what Shindou did to piss Touya off, but he's only too happy to oblige.
"I was there this afternoon," he says, taking pleasure in the way Shindou's face tightens. "He's starting to remember a little."
"We played a game this morning," Touya tells him. "He seems to know what to do, even if he doesn't remember why. There was a move that he pulled in the endgame that he said he learned from you." Touya takes a sip of water. "He couldn't tell me the logic behind it; I was wondering if you would?"
Yeong-ha shrugs. "You'll have to show me which move; Kiyoharu and I have played more games than I can count."
When Touya suggests finding a goban, Shindou growls and stalks off. Touya watches him impassively before turning back to Yeong-ha. "Shall we?"
***
Touya is staring at the goban, recreating his and Kiyoharu's game, and telling Yeong-ha what he already knows: that Shindou Hikaru is just as sneaky as Yeong-ha is. He believes it without question.
"Yashiro told him to mind his own business," Touya says, placing the last stone. "Which is what I have been telling him from the start. Your relationship is none of our business." He meets Yeong-ha's eyes. "I know very little about your relationship, but Yashiro seemed happy. And Shindou only wants Yashiro to be happy. Until Yashiro can tell him this himself..."
Yeong-ha nods. "I leave tomorrow."
Touya sighs. "I know."
***
For the first time since they started their relationship, Yeong-ha leaves some of his things at Kiyoharu's. A few shirts, some ties, a pair of shoes. Things he won't miss at home; things he knows Kiyoharu loves. The green silk shirt stays, and he tucks a note in the breast pocket, letting Kiyoharu know that the tie he marked up in the magazine would clash.
He packs the rest of his things and heads to the hospital. He has four hours before his flight, which gives him enough time to visit before heading to the airport.
***
Kiyoharu is standing by the window when he enters the room. "You leave today, right?"
"Yes."
"I remembered something else," he says, turning to look at Yeong-ha. "I was sick of hiding this from Shindou. I was going to tell him when you got here."
"And when did you remember this?"
Kiyoharu shrugs and leans against the windowsill. "He was here yesterday, telling me that it was better if I didn't remember you and that our relationship wouldn't work, anyway. I got really irritated and snapped. Once he left, I thought, 'that's why I didn't want to tell him,' but then I remembered that, once he knew, he'd either accept it or ignore it."
Yeong-ha leans against the wall and looks out the window. "You seem to be remembering a lot."
"Not enough."
"And what would you like to remember that you haven't?"
"I don't know. My parents, maybe? I mean, I can recognize my mom, but my father? Still a stranger." Kiyoharu fidgets with hospital gown. "More about us, I guess. It seems wrong, you know? I can remember little things, but I don't know how we met, or got together, or any of that."
"We met at an international tournament three years ago," Yeong-ha says.
"You said something about some dead guy. Shindou got pissed," Kiyoharu says, and his eyes look far away.
"Honinbou Shuusaku," he fills in. "A reporter misconstrued what I had said. I went along with it."
Kiyoharu is staring at him now. "You really are a bastard, aren't you?"
Yeong-ha shrugs. "It was entertaining watching Shindou rile himself up over a simple misunderstanding."
Kiyoharu smiles and leans forward. "Then what?"
He leans forward, too. "At the next international tournament, you offered to buy me a drink. I graciously accepted."
"Gracious my ass," Kiyoharu snorts. "I bought you a drink and you shoved your tongue down my throat."
"Only after you put your hand down my pants," Yeong-ha reminds him.
"Funny how that's fuzzy," Kiyoharu replies nonchalantly, leaning a little closer. "I just remember you moving in and doing this." And then Kiyoharu kisses him.
It's tentative, and Yeong-ha lets him lead. Kiyoharu places a hand on Yeong-ha's shoulder, and Yeong-ha lets his hand find Kiyoharu's waist. Kiyoharu is pressing closer, shoving Yeong-ha against the wall, and Yeong-ha grins.
When Kiyoharu pulls away, he's grinning. "I think there was more groping, but hey. I only remember so much."
"I could be nice and fill you in."
"It would be nice," Kiyoharu agrees.
"But, I have a flight to catch," he says reluctantly.
Kiyoharu frowns. "Right."
He watches as Kiyoharu moves away. He's about to say something when Kiyoharu trips and whaps the back of his head on the bedrail.
***
When Kiyoharu comes to, Yeong-ha is hovering. He's only been out for ten minutes, and the hospital seems to be busy because he paged the doctor as soon as Kiyoharu hit the ground but there's been no sign of him.
"Yeong-ha?" Kiyoharu's voice sounds groggy, but there's definitely recognition in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here? And where the hell am I?"
***
He misses his flight. An's voicemail is frantic and worried and Yeong-ha reschedules his flight for the next morning.
"But, you just got here!" Kiyoharu protests.
"I've been here for a week," Yeong-ha points out. "You just don't remember it."
"Not the point."
Yeong-ha shrugs. "I have a match tomorrow afternoon, Kiyoharu."
Kiyoharu sighs. "Fine."
***
Kiyoharu takes him to the airport in the morning. If he notices the extra pieces of clothing in his closet, he doesn't say anything, and Yeong-ha doesn't mention it. They are standing at the check-in counter, and Kiyoharu is scowling.
"You know, you would have been late to pick me up," Yeong-ha says as he takes his ticket.
"I set an alarm," Kiyoharu says, smug. "Totally would have made it on time."
"Except that the alarm was set for an hour and a half after I arrived."
"What? No way!"
They hear the boarding call on the overhead. Yeong-ha grins. "Don't fall and brain yourself, chibi." And then he turns and heads toward the gate.
"You goddamn bastard!" he hears Kiyoharu call, and when he looks over his shoulder, Kiyoharu is smiling.
Someone That I Used To Know
He finds out that Kiyoharu is in an accident through Go Weekly. It’s a small blurb with little detail, nestled in the back between the birthday announcements and a speculation piece from a high school reporter about the nature of Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira’s relationship. The notice is less than one hundred words, informing readers that Yashiro Kiyoharu-sensei was involved in an accident and will be taking a leave of absence to recover. It doesn’t say what hospital he was taken to, when the accident occurred, or even what the accident was. It certainly doesn’t say how serious his injuries are, although Yeong-ha can guess that they are fairly serious if Kiyoharu is willing to take time off to recover.
He spends the rest of his flight to Tokyo alternating between livid and worried. It’s not that he expected anyone to call him; the only person who knows of his relationship with Kiyoharu is Su-yeong. It probably wouldn’t have occurred to Shindou to contact Su-yeong about the accident; Shindou’s brilliance is played out in black and white on kaya, not on forethought and timely communication. There is little amusement in the thought that Shindou will get around to telling Su-yeong, but by that time, Kiyoharu will probably be well.
He rereads the announcement over and over, trying to glean any detail that he can. His phone is in his hand, and as soon as the pilot announces their descent, he is turning it on. The flight attendant gives him a disapproving look, but he smiles apologetically and she flushes and looks the other way. There is an e-mail from Su-yeong waiting.
Yeong-ha,
Don’t freak out, but it looks like Yashiro is in the hospital. Touya-san e-mailed me after you left. The hospital details are attached.
--Su-yeong
Touya, it seems, has the decency to alert everyone else. Without another thought, he opens the attachment. The person seated next to him stands, and Yeong-ha tucks his phone into his pocket and reaches into the overhead bin to get his carry-on.
***
He has the cab driver stop by Kiyoharu’s so he can drop his luggage off before going to the hospital. A fifteen minute drive stretches to thirty due to traffic, and Yeong-ha keeps looking at his phone, checking the time over and over. By the time they reach the hospital, the cab driver looks terrified and Yeong-ha wonders what his face must look like. He pays the driver and heads for the hospital entrance.
Hospitals always smell like antiseptic and lemon. He thinks the scent is supposed to be comforting, but the combination makes him nauseous, though that could simply be the knot of worry tightening in his gut. He gets directions from the nurse’s station. He has a lie at the tip of his tongue - he’s Kiyoharu’s cousin - but the nurse simply gives him the room number and turns back to her computer.
The worry lessens; if he can already have visitors, there can’t be anything seriously wrong with him. He’s still not sure what happened, but Kiyoharu will fill him in. By the time he reaches room 417, he has several quips that will have Kiyoharu glaring at him within moments. He’s smiling when he opens the door, and the first thing he sees is not Kiyoharu, but Shindou Hikaru, who is staring at him like Yeong-ha has suddenly sprouted a second head.
“What,” Shindou says, eyes wide, “are you doing here?”
Yeong-ha looks to the right, and, sure enough, Touya Akira is sitting in the guest chair, looking only somewhat shocked. “Good afternoon, Touya-san,” Yeong-ha says politely, pointedly ignoring Shindou. He would look over to see his expression, but Kiyoharu is right behind Touya, eyebrows furrowed, like he can’t figure out why Yeong-ha would show up here.
A bruise covers the bottom half of his left cheek and a bandage is wrapped around his head. There are spots of bright red against the white bandages. Yeong-ha takes a step forward, Shindou and Touya forgotten. Shindou, however, hasn’t forgotten him and steps in his way.
“What are you doing here?” Shindou asks again, glaring.
“Su-yeong asked me to pay a visit Yashiro, to send his regards,” Yeong-ha replies smoothly, the lie slipping easily off his tongue. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of Kiyoharu the entire time.
Touya is at Shindou’s side, a hand resting lightly on his shoulder. “Let’s get something to eat, Shindou,” he says gently.
“But,” Shindou splutters, turning to look at Touya. Yeong-ha takes the opportunity to take the last few steps to the bed. He barely registers Touya telling him they’ll be back and the door closing. Kiyoharu is looking at him, confused, and Yeong-ha reaches for his hand.
Kiyoharu pulls away and Yeong-ha remembers that Touya and Shindou could walk back in at any moment. Rather than pressing the issue, he sits in the chair Touya vacated and leans back.
“So,” he says, “what did you do? Fall down a flight of stairs?”
He expects Kiyoharu to glare, but he stares blankly instead. “I don’t remember.”
“You don’t remember?” he asks, leaning forward to touch the bandage, pulling away when Kiyoharu flinches. “How hard did you hit your head?”
“Hard enough to forget just about everything,” Kiyoharu retorts. “Now, who the hell are you?”
***
"Amnesia," Touya explains when they return. "They think it's a side-effect from when he fell down the stairs and was knocked unconscious a few days ago."
Kiyoharu is sleeping and Yeong-ha has to fight the impulse to reach over and take his hand. There are several reasons Kiyoharu doesn't want his friends to know - Shindou's expected reaction not-withstanding - and even if Kiyoharu doesn't remember that they are in a relationship, he'd be no more thankful for Yeong-ha's public revelation now than he'd be if he did remember.
"Is it permanent?" he asks, voice nonchalant. It wouldn't do any good to give anything away.
Touya shrugs. "The doctor isn't sure. Yashiro has begun to remember little things since he woke up, but there's no way to tell if he'll remember everything, or when."
Yeong-ha nods. Kiyoharu is twitching in his sleep, and Touya moves forward to untangle the blanket. Kiyoharu stops fidgeting. He takes his eyes off of Kiyoharu to look at Shindou, who is looking out the window, ignoring Yeong-ha's existence. Mature, he thinks before returning his attention to Touya. He's about to ask what Kiyoharu has remembered thus far when someone's phone goes off.
He vaguely recognizes the tune, the memory just out of reach. He almost remembers when Kiyoharu shoots straight up, eyes wide. He's got the blankets off by the time Shindou reaches him and grabs his arm.
The World Ends With You. That's what it's called. The song is from one of Kiyoharu's video games, the one that he was ready to throw against the wall the last time Kiyoharu was in Korea. He can't remember the name of the song, but he remembers Kiyoharu's narrowed eyes and the final boss that Kiyoharu spent five days trying to kill. The soundtrack was grating on his nerves by the end of it, and he remembers Kiyoharu laughing and saying he'll make it Yeong-ha's ringtone.
Touya is looking at the phone and frowning. "It's an alarm. It says, 'if you haven't left by now, you're going to be late, and he's going to mock the shit out of you. again.'"
"Wasn't he supposed to pick up his mystery boyfriend today?" Shindou asks when Kiyoharu is lying in bed again. "He was supposed to introduce us."
Yeong-ha keeps his expression carefully neutral. It seems Kiyoharu programmed the wrong time into his phone. Had Kiyoharu not fallen down a flight of stairs earlier, he would have been an hour late, at best. If he left when the alarm went off, he'd have been even later.
"We should probably call the guy, let him know what's going on," Shindou suggests, taking the phone from Touya and presumably scrolling through the contacts.
"Don't," Kiyoharu says, making a feeble attempt to grab his phone.
Shindou dodges out of the way and looks up. "What's his name?"
Kiyoharu looks panicked, and Yeong-ha thinks for a moment that he's remembered. "I don't know," Kiyoharu growls, frustrated.
"Fine," Shindou says amicably. "Then I'll just call the only person whose name I don't recognize. And that would be… YH." Yeong-ha has a second to realize that's probably him before Shindou presses the call button.
It takes a moment for the call to connect - after all, Yeong-ha's number is international, not local - but Kiyoharu's ringtone starts playing. Loudly. He makes no move to grab it; the cat, as it was, is out of the bag, and there is nothing left to do but wait for Shindou and Touya to make the connection.
Shindou hangs up and Yeong-ha's phone immediately stops ringing. He sees it the moment Shindou realizes it: the wide eyes, the disbelieving set of his mouth. Shindou looks down at Kiyoharu's phone, then up to Yeong-ha and back again. He shakes his head and presses call again. A moment later, Yeong-ha's phone begins ringing again.
"My number," Yeong-ha replies in a bored tone of voice, "is international. There is no need to continue calling it and charging Kiyoharu's bill."
"No way," Shindou says quietly. "No freaking way. You? You're his boyfriend?"
Touya doesn't look the slightest bit surprised, which is interesting. He wonders if Kiyoharu had confided in Touya; they are close, from what Yeong-ha knows. As close as Kiyoharu and Su-yeong. Touya moves over to Shindou and takes the phone away, hanging up.
Yeong-ha's phone stops ringing.
Kiyoharu is looking at him with a strange expression, almost like he's trying to remember, and Yeong-ha steps closer and takes his hand. This time, Kiyoharu doesn't pull away.
Silence fills the room for the moment, and Yeong-ha takes the opportunity to turn away from Shindou, who is still gawking, and Touya. Kiyoharu is still looking at him, and Yeong-ha sits on the bed next to him, forcing Kiyoharu to scoot over to make room.
"This is why he didn't tell you," Touya is saying quietly, and that confirms Yeong-ha's suspicions. "He knew you were going to make a complete idiot of yourself."
"Wait," Shindou says loudly. "You knew? And you didn't tell me?"
Touya sighs. "Why do you think he was learning Korean, Shindou?"
"To talk to Su-yeong!"
"Hong's Japanese is better than yours," Touya retorts, patience wearing thin.
"It is not!"
"So," Kiyoharu says quietly, just loud enough for Yeong-ha to hear him over Shindou's barely contained shrieking. "You're supposed to be my boyfriend, huh?"
Yeong-ha shrugs. "I wasn't aware that we were using those labels."
"I have pretty shitty taste, then," Kiyoharu says, but he's smiling a little. It's enough to give Yeong-ha just a bit of hope. "At least you're pretty."
He laughs.
***
The tournament starts the next day. Ogata-sensei meets him at the door, a predatory smile on his lips. Yeong-ha matches the smile and glides by, inclining his head in greeting. It's a game they've been playing since the Hokuto Cup. As far as Yeong-ha knows, Ogata-sensei is only interested in the chase, and Yeong-ha is happy to oblige on most days. Today, however, is not one of them.
So, when he passes right by without making conversation, Ogata-sensei understands and leaves him alone. An Taeson is waiting just ahead, looking impatiently at his watch. When he catches sight of Yeong-ha, he relaxes and rushes forward to meet him.
"It seems," An begins without preamble, "that one of the Japanese participants has been hospitalized and will not be able to play. He was supposed to be your opponent, so you have a bye for the day."
"Is that so," Yeong-ha replies. "Then I'll take my leave." He has barely turned around when An grabs his arm.
"You're going to sit here and watch," An says. "Quietly. No international incidents."
"Wouldn't that be easier to prevent if I wasn't here?" he helpfully points out.
An is about to say something when Shindou Hikaru enters the waiting room. Immediately, Shindou is stalking towards him and An is shaking his head, clearly wondering what, exactly, it is that Yeong-ha's done this time.
"We're going to talk," Shindou says, and Yeong-ha mentally applauds Shindou's attempt at civility. "Now."
***
The look on Shindou's face could possibly kill a lesser man. Fortunately, Yeong-ha is a master at bored indifference, which seems to be rage's weakness. By the time they find an empty room, Shindou's rage has thinned out to anger and confusion; these, Yeong-ha can deal with. It isn't as though he's never been on the receiving end of Shindou's rage - he remembers with some satisfaction the scandal An was referring to - and he has survived it in the past.
Shindou is staring at him now, so Yeong-ha sighs and takes a seat. "Whatever would you like to discuss, Shindou?"
"When?"
Yeong-ha blinks. He knows what Shindou is referring to, but the urge to mess with him is too tempting to ignore. "Whenever you'd care to begin."
"You're an ass," Shindou hisses. "When did you start screwing with Yashiro?"
He toys with the idea of telling the truth - that Kiyoharu came onto him first, that first tournament after the Hokuto Cup - but he decides that the fewer details he arms Shindou with, the better. Besides, he's sure Shindou's referring to his and Kiyoharu's relationship, not when they started having sex, which is still relatively new. He settles for telling Shindou "I don't see how any of this is your business."
"This is my business," Shindou retorts. "Yashiro is my friend and I don't want him to end up as one of your little-"
"Kiyoharu doesn't need your protection," Yeong-ha cuts in. Shindou flinches at Yeong-ha's use of Kiyoharu's given name. "He's an adult and can make his own decisions."
Shindou snorts. "Yeah, well, sometimes he can be an idiot. He can't see that you're screwing with him, so I'm telling you to leave him alone. That's what friends do."
"Whether I'm screwing with him or not remains to be seen," Yeong-ha replies icily. Generally, he's better at brushing Shindou off, but he's starting to get on his nerves. "Now, if you'll excuse me."
Yeong-ha's words seem to take the wind out of Shindou's sails, but before Shindou can respond, Yeong-ha is out the door.
***
Kiyoharu's apartment is sparse. There is an old couch and a makeshift coffee table in the living room, two stools next to the counter in the kitchen, and a mattress that barely fits the two of them unless they sleep draped over each other, which they learned the hard way the first time Yeong-ha stayed the night. The most expensive thing in Kiyoharu's apartment is his goban, which he bought himself when he beat Shindou in the Honinbou league qualifiers last year.
The apartment is empty and cold, and Yeong-ha has been trying for months to convince Kiyoharu to get anything with a bit of color to put on the walls.
When he had dropped off his luggage the first day, he had simply placed the suitcase inside the door; getting to Kiyoharu was more important than unpacking and mixing his things in the closet where Kiyoharu could potentially pull one of Yeong-ha's expensive shirts off the hanger and put it on. When he had returned later that night, he had been too exhausted to notice much of anything except that Kiyoharu's fridge was empty of anything remotely edible.
He leaves the Ki-in and heads straight for Kiyoharu's apartment, and when he gets there, he notices it for the first time. There is a painting on the wall near the hallway. It's not anything Yeong-ha would have chosen, but the print suits Kiyoharu: splashes of bright colors covering the canvas, with no care for patterns or lines. The print is one big, colorful mess.
Now that he looks carefully, he can see other things, little details that most people wouldn't notice - a new yellow vase, a blue pillow on the old couch. There is a men's fashion magazine on the coffee table, and Yeong-ha flips through, only semi-surprised to find things circled and little notes next to them: maybe for birthday? or would look good with that stupid green shirt he likes.
Little touches here and there that make Yeong-ha smile, because he can recall conversations about each and every one. Maybe not about the specific item - he would never have suggested bright blue throw pillows with Kiyoharu's black couch, after all - but similar items. They look out of place, but it only reminds Yeong-ha of his apartment, all sleek and fashionable with a shelf of video games and cheesy B-rated American horror films and a fridge full of Coke.
For the first time since he heard about Kiyoharu's accident, he wonders whether or not things will go back to normal.
***
There is a man Yeong-ha doesn't recognize leaving Kiyoharu's room when he arrives. The man gives him a brief look, as though assessing him, before nodding slightly and hurrying down the hall. Yeong-ha frowns, because the man looks a little like Kiyoharu, and if that's true, then there is only one person he could be. When he opens the door and sees Kiyoharu's shell-shocked face, he's certain the man who left was Kiyoharu's father.
"Good evening," Yeong-ha says, taking the empty chair near the bed.
"Yeong-ha, right?" Kiyoharu says uncertainly, like he's afraid that he's wrong. Yeong-ha nods, and suddenly Kiyoharu is grabbing his hand and staring at the door. "That was my father."
Yeong-ha doesn’t say anything, because he's not really sure what to say. He has dozens of memories of Kiyoharu talking about his parents, and while Kiyoharu never says anything negative about them, always makes excuses for them, Yeong-ha is sure that they care little for their son. There are few Go players in their generation who are better than Kiyoharu, and while Go Weekly might focus on Shindou and Touya, Kiyoharu's name is in there often enough.
"I didn't recognize him," Kiyoharu says quietly. "My own father, and I didn't recognize him."
He wants to say something, anything, but the only thing he can think of is you're better off not recognizing him, and that is most assuredly not what Kiyoharu wants to hear. So he stays quiet and holds Kiyoharu's hand.
"I should have felt something, right?"
The question hangs in the air until Yeong-ha realizes that Kiyoharu expects an answer. "Who knows?"
Kiyoharu finally looks at him and rolls his eyes. "You're always like that," he says. "Ask for a straight answer and get a question in return."
"And how would you know that?" Yeong-ha asks, because Shindou wouldn't have told him that and Touya doesn’t know him past his reputation. He remembers Touya saying that Kiyoharu has been remembering things, but it's too much to think that Kiyoharu is remembering him.
"I remember… things," Kiyoharu says uncertainly. "Mostly little things, but I remember some things about you. Like how you hate Coke, and you have ridiculously expensive taste." Kiyoharu frowns for a moment, then smirks. "You have Coke stocked in your fridge, though, for when I come over."
Small things, just like he said, but Yeong-ha knows that every tiny thing is important. "Speaking of that vile poison, I brought you a can." He pulls the can from his jacket pocket and hands it over. The can is still cold, but just barely. Cold Coke is horrid enough, but lukewarm Coke is unpalatable. Which only explains Kiyoharu's tendency to drink it that way.
Kiyoharu lights up and takes the can, pulling his hand from Yeong-ha's and popping the tab. He takes a long draught and sighs happily. "God, I needed that."
Yeong-ha shakes his head. "Your body, however, did not."
"You brought it for me," Kiyoharu points out, taking another drink.
"My mistake," he says blandly, and Kiyoharu grins.
"You don't live here, right?" Kiyoharu asks a moment later. "You'll be… leaving soon."
Yeong-ha nods. "I leave the day after the tournament ends."
"Tournament?" Kiyoharu's face furrows, trying to remember. "Go tournament, right?" When Yeong-ha nods, Kiyoharu sighs. "Right. So you're here, what? Another two days?"
"Three," he corrects.
"Three days. Man, I've got great timing, huh?"
Yeong-ha chuckles. "There's a tournament in Seoul next month," he says, not sure if he's reminding Kiyoharu, or informing him.
"I'm supposed to go to that, right? Shindou was saying something about it when he came by earlier."
"You bought your ticket last week," Yeong-ha says.
"Well, damn," Kiyoharu says cheerfully. "Guess I'll have to remember how to play."
***
The next few days follow the same pattern: tournament, hospital, tournament, hospital. He can't get out of the banquets, though he tries. An's glares and admonitions have gotten stronger by the day, and Yeong-ha idly wonders when he'll crack from the stress.
Shindou and Touya are at the banquets, too. Touya is polite and civil and makes conversation, while Shindou glares and rolls his eyes and glares some more.
"Have you been to see Yashiro recently?" Touya asks, and Yeong-ha is sure that he knows the answer, but the lull in conversation seems to be making Shindou antsy, and Touya has a vindictive streak as wide as Yeong-ha's. He's not sure what Shindou did to piss Touya off, but he's only too happy to oblige.
"I was there this afternoon," he says, taking pleasure in the way Shindou's face tightens. "He's starting to remember a little."
"We played a game this morning," Touya tells him. "He seems to know what to do, even if he doesn't remember why. There was a move that he pulled in the endgame that he said he learned from you." Touya takes a sip of water. "He couldn't tell me the logic behind it; I was wondering if you would?"
Yeong-ha shrugs. "You'll have to show me which move; Kiyoharu and I have played more games than I can count."
When Touya suggests finding a goban, Shindou growls and stalks off. Touya watches him impassively before turning back to Yeong-ha. "Shall we?"
***
Touya is staring at the goban, recreating his and Kiyoharu's game, and telling Yeong-ha what he already knows: that Shindou Hikaru is just as sneaky as Yeong-ha is. He believes it without question.
"Yashiro told him to mind his own business," Touya says, placing the last stone. "Which is what I have been telling him from the start. Your relationship is none of our business." He meets Yeong-ha's eyes. "I know very little about your relationship, but Yashiro seemed happy. And Shindou only wants Yashiro to be happy. Until Yashiro can tell him this himself..."
Yeong-ha nods. "I leave tomorrow."
Touya sighs. "I know."
***
For the first time since they started their relationship, Yeong-ha leaves some of his things at Kiyoharu's. A few shirts, some ties, a pair of shoes. Things he won't miss at home; things he knows Kiyoharu loves. The green silk shirt stays, and he tucks a note in the breast pocket, letting Kiyoharu know that the tie he marked up in the magazine would clash.
He packs the rest of his things and heads to the hospital. He has four hours before his flight, which gives him enough time to visit before heading to the airport.
***
Kiyoharu is standing by the window when he enters the room. "You leave today, right?"
"Yes."
"I remembered something else," he says, turning to look at Yeong-ha. "I was sick of hiding this from Shindou. I was going to tell him when you got here."
"And when did you remember this?"
Kiyoharu shrugs and leans against the windowsill. "He was here yesterday, telling me that it was better if I didn't remember you and that our relationship wouldn't work, anyway. I got really irritated and snapped. Once he left, I thought, 'that's why I didn't want to tell him,' but then I remembered that, once he knew, he'd either accept it or ignore it."
Yeong-ha leans against the wall and looks out the window. "You seem to be remembering a lot."
"Not enough."
"And what would you like to remember that you haven't?"
"I don't know. My parents, maybe? I mean, I can recognize my mom, but my father? Still a stranger." Kiyoharu fidgets with hospital gown. "More about us, I guess. It seems wrong, you know? I can remember little things, but I don't know how we met, or got together, or any of that."
"We met at an international tournament three years ago," Yeong-ha says.
"You said something about some dead guy. Shindou got pissed," Kiyoharu says, and his eyes look far away.
"Honinbou Shuusaku," he fills in. "A reporter misconstrued what I had said. I went along with it."
Kiyoharu is staring at him now. "You really are a bastard, aren't you?"
Yeong-ha shrugs. "It was entertaining watching Shindou rile himself up over a simple misunderstanding."
Kiyoharu smiles and leans forward. "Then what?"
He leans forward, too. "At the next international tournament, you offered to buy me a drink. I graciously accepted."
"Gracious my ass," Kiyoharu snorts. "I bought you a drink and you shoved your tongue down my throat."
"Only after you put your hand down my pants," Yeong-ha reminds him.
"Funny how that's fuzzy," Kiyoharu replies nonchalantly, leaning a little closer. "I just remember you moving in and doing this." And then Kiyoharu kisses him.
It's tentative, and Yeong-ha lets him lead. Kiyoharu places a hand on Yeong-ha's shoulder, and Yeong-ha lets his hand find Kiyoharu's waist. Kiyoharu is pressing closer, shoving Yeong-ha against the wall, and Yeong-ha grins.
When Kiyoharu pulls away, he's grinning. "I think there was more groping, but hey. I only remember so much."
"I could be nice and fill you in."
"It would be nice," Kiyoharu agrees.
"But, I have a flight to catch," he says reluctantly.
Kiyoharu frowns. "Right."
He watches as Kiyoharu moves away. He's about to say something when Kiyoharu trips and whaps the back of his head on the bedrail.
***
When Kiyoharu comes to, Yeong-ha is hovering. He's only been out for ten minutes, and the hospital seems to be busy because he paged the doctor as soon as Kiyoharu hit the ground but there's been no sign of him.
"Yeong-ha?" Kiyoharu's voice sounds groggy, but there's definitely recognition in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here? And where the hell am I?"
***
He misses his flight. An's voicemail is frantic and worried and Yeong-ha reschedules his flight for the next morning.
"But, you just got here!" Kiyoharu protests.
"I've been here for a week," Yeong-ha points out. "You just don't remember it."
"Not the point."
Yeong-ha shrugs. "I have a match tomorrow afternoon, Kiyoharu."
Kiyoharu sighs. "Fine."
***
Kiyoharu takes him to the airport in the morning. If he notices the extra pieces of clothing in his closet, he doesn't say anything, and Yeong-ha doesn't mention it. They are standing at the check-in counter, and Kiyoharu is scowling.
"You know, you would have been late to pick me up," Yeong-ha says as he takes his ticket.
"I set an alarm," Kiyoharu says, smug. "Totally would have made it on time."
"Except that the alarm was set for an hour and a half after I arrived."
"What? No way!"
They hear the boarding call on the overhead. Yeong-ha grins. "Don't fall and brain yourself, chibi." And then he turns and heads toward the gate.
"You goddamn bastard!" he hears Kiyoharu call, and when he looks over his shoulder, Kiyoharu is smiling.