"heat" a Star Trek fanfiction

[ansley15]

“heat” by ansley15
Fandom: Star Trek IX
Pairing: Kirk/Spock/Uhura
Genre: Angst, romance, pon farr
Summary: Kirk knew a storm when he saw one, and this had been brewing in quiet desperation for months. When Spock goes into pon farr while he, Kirk, and Uhura are stranded on a planet and needs both humans to save him, uncomfortable truths edge to light.

Comments

[linstock]

First an apology ..I do tend to write long and overly detailed comments…Its just me , I try to keep it under control.
There are some truly beautiful descriptions in this piece. The imagery of the golden boy and midnight girl, are dreamlike and prefect. I re-read several time and gather up gems like.
“fell on me with the passion of gravity”
“the papery wheeze of Spock's breathing”
“The itching to leave and aching to linger”
“The awkward silence stretched for miles.”
“That gravity of skin between them was the most real thing she had known. “
“a loop of acceptance swirls around like infinite reoccurence.”
“Spock comes with the shock of rebirth. “
There is also an intensely immediate pain and brittleness in some sections…
“Unconsciously, his fingers threaded through the sweat-slicked hair, smoothing flat bangs plastered to Spock's brow in odd flips. …He withdrew his hand on reflex when Uhura spoke.”
“The first time Kirk saw Spock nearly die, he had barely breathed for a week after.”
“I never wanted any else one to die for me. My father was enough..”
“Well, you are pretty fucking cherished,” Jim said brightly … “Yes,” Spock managed to squeeze through his exhaustion. “I am...aware of the fact.”
“The hardest part was, in the end, people simply grow apart. “
“Always he wanted her...the humiliation of dependency, that need, desire.”
I did find myself confused by some of the story, why Spock and Nyota drifted apart, was it due to Spock’s love for Jim and the conflict this raised? Yet Spock says does not desire this distance and does desire Nyota so why (and I am with Jim on this) have they not had sex? Is you vision of Spock one where he only mates in Pon Farr? I am not totally clear as to why both had to mate with Spock. I think Spock had chosen to die rather than mate but again am unclear why.
Please do not see this as criticism, there is much to like about this fic and in some affairs of the heart the reader des not need to know everything, indeed the people concerned often do not fully understand their own actions. .

[ansley15]

Thank you soo much for your long comment! And, actually, constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome with me! I have a very thick skin, and since I have no beta, I rely heavily on lovely comments like yours to tell me when something isn't making sense.

I saw Nyota and Spock drifting apart simply because sometimes people in relationships often do. Sometimes the passion is there in a crisis situation (like the destruction of Vulcan, or pon farr) but in daily life, it's hard to keep the energy and intimacy in a relationship. It's not Jim's fault, it's not theirs; it just happens in real life. But, just like in real life, just because a couple drifts apart doesn't necessarily signify the end of their relationship. It just means they need to re-evaluate their dynamic. In this case, I think fell into a complacency with one another and took each other for granted, leading to distance. If this were a pure Spock/Uhura story, I would have written an ending where the couple slowly, painfully work through their problems but ultimately reconcile, stay together, and rekindle the spark in their relationship. But since I wanted to explore polyamory, I decided to make Jim the spark in their relationship and have Spock love and need both, though in different ways.

This Spock is not asexual, but he is very, very awkward about sexuality. He loves Nyota, but I don't like fics where Spock has sex with his partner after only a few months (or even less than a year) of being together. His awkwardness about sex would also be a very subtle, unspoken source of tension between him and Nyota in this story.

Why does he need both? Yeah, that's a HUGE plot hole. Thanks for pointing that out, I didn't even think to mention the real reason! A single human would not be strong enough to endure pon farr when not bonded to the Vulcan in question. That's why Nyota says she and Jim need to "relay" off...because they both get tired, and Spock does not. I implied as much with the line about "relaying" and "taking turns" but you are right. I could have been MUCH more clear. Thanks for pointing that out! As for choosing to die rather than mate, I was probably being waaay too subtle, but the idea was that Spock feels too isolated from the other two to subject them to a violent pon farr (which could possible kill them.) I'll add a sentence to make that more clear.

I'm going to go back and edit the story to make everything less ambiguous. Thank you SO much for your constructive criticism! You can always give concrit to me, I am impossible to offend :)