"Defiant"-A Star Trek Fanfiction. Part 1 Chapter 4
"Defiant" by ansley15
Fandom: StarTrek2009
rating: PG-13 for this chapter
Parings: Kirk-Spock friendship and pre-slash (later slash), Chekhov/Sulu, Scotty/Uhura, Gaila/Kirk, Kirk/Gary Mitchell. Also a friendship/gen fic about the crew.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.
Summary: A correctional facility for juvenile delinquents was the last place Spock planned to be spending his golden years, much less meet the group of friends who became his family, and the boy who was a walking revolution. A dystopia AU and a teenager AU.
Warnings: will eventually include violence, mentions of terrorism, drugs, sexual situations (including explict slash) amongst teenagers, mentions of abuse, mind torture, and angst. Also, UN-BETA'D. This chapter is trippy as all hell, too.
Chapter 4:
I can't see anything at all, all I see is me
That's clear enough, that's what's important: to see me.
My eyes are open
My brain is talking
it looks pretty good to me...
We can't see clear
But what we see is alright
We make up what we can't hear
And we sing all night
Scattered pages and shadows falling
Through the bright light see the leaves
A ground roar runs through the record stores at night
Coming in for the deep freeze.”
-Sonic Youth, “Eric's Trip”
An unpadded chair in a room. A glazed mirrored wall behind which figures loomed. Cold metal wrist clamps latched Spock's wrists to the arm rests, his ankles to the foot rest. A metallic bar pressed into his forehead, ruffling his normally sleek hair.
“This may be slightly unpleasant,” Dr. Noel's voice chirped clear through the intercom. “But it shouldn't be painful.”
The his brain split in two.
()()
“Why rats, Mother? Certainly there are less barbaric ways of achieving scientific progress than by experimenting on sentinent beings.”
“On Earth, for centuries, scientists run tests of lab rats because no robot, no artificial intelligence, no computer that anyone has come up with, can every truly replicate a sentiment, thinking, living thing in an expierment. Even a living thing as simple minded as a rat. It's one of those things that makes me believe there will always be a need for real flesh and blood beings, no matter how technology progresses.”
“But Mother...certainly it would be more logical to conduct an experiment with a computer, where the chances of error are far more minimal?”
“Your mother is correct, Spock. The purpose of science is to inquire into the nature of existence. Because existence is, itself, a manifold of unordered sensation, artificially imposing constraints upon a study may unduly undermine the results.”
“I do feel sorry for the rats now and then, you know. It must be horrible to spend your entire life in a maze with no end. Constantly searching for a way out and never finding it...always looking for a pattern and a direction without realizing that the walls change...always being alone, slaving constantly just for a bit of cheese or milk...and then ultimately, just dying without realizing that your entire purpose in living was to further some great scientific experiment you cannot even understand. Especially if the experiment is a dud.”
“Mother, though I expressed my..dissatisifaction...at the misuse of sentinent beings, I believe an emotonal response in pity for rats to be quite illogical.”
“Oh, I know, it's silly, Spock...it's just I had a pet rat as a child as dear to me as i-Chalya is to you, and I remember being very young, about your age, and being horrified at the experiments my father and the other lab techs preformed on them. I remember being very young and wondering if my parents were right and there was a God, and if he looked at us the way my father looked at those lab rats...don't look at me like that, Spock. I know it was riduculous, but I was a very philosophical child.”
“Amanda, ashayam, your philosophical bent is far from riduculous, despite the...eccentrities of your analogies. Indeed, it is a testament to the brightness of y-”
A sharp pain cleft Spock's mind in two
Like in Plato's Symposium when they split down into
The Blue Half=cold, plantary, symmetrical as beauty
The Principle of NonContradiction: A property cannot both belong and not belong to a subject at the same time and in the same respect ~ ( P & ~P)[‘~’ means ‘not’] (the Earth philosopher Aristotle tried to write an argument for this in the metaphysics which is confusing because any logical argument pressuposses the principle before arguing...a Vulcan would have simply took it as it was) This is different than the Law of Identity which says “P is P” Principle of Excluded Middle: Between a statement and its negation there is no middle term. Judgments are either true or false. (P or ~P) there are logical fallacies, Spock, which you must know by the time you are two so you can recognize them: “Modus Pones”:(if P then Q, P, thus Q) Modus Tollens (if P then Q, not Q, therfore not P) Affiriming the Consequent (if P then Q, Q, therefore P) Denying the Antecedent (if P then Q, not P, thus Q)....t
there are more, and those are merely the structural fallacies.
The informal fallacies are harder, Spock.
With the structural, it is obvious when the conclusion is not entailed by faulty structure in the premises
With the other kind, it all hinges on the truth statement of the premises
“Classical defintion of knowledge: a true justified belief. S knows that P when P meets the standards of justification and Ask [someone] whether, if his prince demanded, on pain of… immediate execution, that he give false testimony against an honourable man who the prince would like to destroy under a plausible pretext, he would consider it possible to overcome his love of life… He would perhaps not venture to assert whether he would do it or not, but he must admit without hesitation that it would be possible for him. He judges, therefore, that he can do something because he is aware that he ought to do it and cognises freedom within him, which, without the moral law, would have remained unknown to him. And the other one Spock deeply loved when his mother read to him “Two things fill the mind with ever new and increasing admiration and awe, the more often and steadily we reflect upon them: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me”
“Father, why have you chosen a Vulcan woman for your new bondmate? You once told me marrying a human was the logical course of action.”
“As it was...when I was Ambassador to Earth, when our species was not in dire need of repopulatoin. Marrying your mother was the logical course of action at the time. I have chosen T'Pharan as my new mate because we are from different clans, therefore, our offspring will have a great genetic diversity and appreciate our different cultures.”
“And I...I shall be bonded to T'Pring, after all?”
“Yes. After the destruction of our homeplanet, the girl has come to her senses and it has accepted that the logical course of action is to bond with you when her time comes.”
Red Half: Molton Hot, Passion, Unforgettable Fire
Do I dare disturb the universe/in a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse i carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) let me not to Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; and the poetry book his mother read him ripped beautifully at its thick spine as viciously furiously he sunk his fingers into those browning pages, those words her voice would never slid over reduced to pulp within minutes a ball of light comes up a street meets a park, enters. A translucent statue stands inside one that holds the day & explains...
She will never read to me
Quoth the raven, nevermore
All other books were lost with her
I waked, she fled, and day brought back my night
There would be no more poems and no more love
Mere anachy was unleashed upon the world
Still,
I would leap too
into the light if I had the chance...
At the age of seven a star crumbled inward on a scree while billions around the galaxy watched, and Spock never read poetry agI rise with my red hair and I eat men like air-
()()()
Fear is the heart of love
Fear what you love
In respect, in awe, in fear and trembling, be grateful for the hand of Federation which does not smite you down.
All you have you have because of the Federation
You would be a wild thing, violent as a beast without its laws
Is it so much to ask that you obey them?
Is it so much to ask you give it all?
....this was the voice Spock recognized as Dr. Noel's, slipping siren-smooth through the static of the warring halves within him.
()()()
“What is the source of our sense of an ongoing and invariable self that persists throughout all the changes in our experience?”
()()()
“Sorry about that,” Dr. Noel's prescense was too close; he was aware of his body again. “The machine was not supposed to do that, you are supposed to be receiving messages and stimulus responses. Like in classical conditioning. Sometimes the stimuluses trigger flashbacks, but you...you seemed to be flashing back the entire time. Perhaps your Vulcan physiology is throwing the machine off...we thought we had prepared for you, but apparently, we hadn't. We will have this sorted out by tomorrow.”
Numb to the world, Spock rose to his feet.
“Thank you, Dr. Noel.” he said stiffly, with a nod.
He exited the training building composed and calm as gliding across a library floor. He almost made it to the male's restroom before falling to his knees and retching up pure stomach acid.
ansley15.livejournal.com/4032.html
Author's note:
Sorry that was weird, but it was really necessary. I will refrain from going too trippy from now on.
For the logic section, I just rattled off some very simple logical truths that you learn in a introduction to Symbolic Logic course, because I figured Vulcans probably teach their kids this stuff from infancy, and it's about Spock remembering stuff from when he was a baby. That, and I don't feel comfortable talking about higher, complex analytic logic (I'm just a kid geez, I don't know this stuff :P )
Passages from Kant: one from the “Groundwork for the Metaphysics of Morality” (the long one) and the second one is a heavily, heavily, heavily paraphrased reference to the Transcedental Deduction Argument from “The Critque of Pure Reason”, which I will admit flat up to not having read in its entirity (though I will be forced to this September.) The third is a very famous one (the one on Kant's tombstone) from “Critqiue of Practical Reason” about the starry sky and moral law within. I know none of you care but I always feel like I should acknowledge who I am quoting...even if they've been dead a few hundred years (and my inner nerd has always found something vaguely Vulcan about much 18th century German ethics so the quotes felt right.)
Okay, poets quoted (in order): T.S. Eliot, e.e. Cummings, William Shakesphere, Eileen Myles (who I've met!!),Edgar Allen Poe, John Milton, James Wright, William Butler Yates. If you reeealy want to know a particular line, just ask. Or google ;)
Fandom: StarTrek2009
rating: PG-13 for this chapter
Parings: Kirk-Spock friendship and pre-slash (later slash), Chekhov/Sulu, Scotty/Uhura, Gaila/Kirk, Kirk/Gary Mitchell. Also a friendship/gen fic about the crew.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.
Summary: A correctional facility for juvenile delinquents was the last place Spock planned to be spending his golden years, much less meet the group of friends who became his family, and the boy who was a walking revolution. A dystopia AU and a teenager AU.
Warnings: will eventually include violence, mentions of terrorism, drugs, sexual situations (including explict slash) amongst teenagers, mentions of abuse, mind torture, and angst. Also, UN-BETA'D. This chapter is trippy as all hell, too.
Chapter 4:
I can't see anything at all, all I see is me
That's clear enough, that's what's important: to see me.
My eyes are open
My brain is talking
it looks pretty good to me...
We can't see clear
But what we see is alright
We make up what we can't hear
And we sing all night
Scattered pages and shadows falling
Through the bright light see the leaves
A ground roar runs through the record stores at night
Coming in for the deep freeze.”
-Sonic Youth, “Eric's Trip”
An unpadded chair in a room. A glazed mirrored wall behind which figures loomed. Cold metal wrist clamps latched Spock's wrists to the arm rests, his ankles to the foot rest. A metallic bar pressed into his forehead, ruffling his normally sleek hair.
“This may be slightly unpleasant,” Dr. Noel's voice chirped clear through the intercom. “But it shouldn't be painful.”
The his brain split in two.
()()
“Why rats, Mother? Certainly there are less barbaric ways of achieving scientific progress than by experimenting on sentinent beings.”
“On Earth, for centuries, scientists run tests of lab rats because no robot, no artificial intelligence, no computer that anyone has come up with, can every truly replicate a sentiment, thinking, living thing in an expierment. Even a living thing as simple minded as a rat. It's one of those things that makes me believe there will always be a need for real flesh and blood beings, no matter how technology progresses.”
“But Mother...certainly it would be more logical to conduct an experiment with a computer, where the chances of error are far more minimal?”
“Your mother is correct, Spock. The purpose of science is to inquire into the nature of existence. Because existence is, itself, a manifold of unordered sensation, artificially imposing constraints upon a study may unduly undermine the results.”
“I do feel sorry for the rats now and then, you know. It must be horrible to spend your entire life in a maze with no end. Constantly searching for a way out and never finding it...always looking for a pattern and a direction without realizing that the walls change...always being alone, slaving constantly just for a bit of cheese or milk...and then ultimately, just dying without realizing that your entire purpose in living was to further some great scientific experiment you cannot even understand. Especially if the experiment is a dud.”
“Mother, though I expressed my..dissatisifaction...at the misuse of sentinent beings, I believe an emotonal response in pity for rats to be quite illogical.”
“Oh, I know, it's silly, Spock...it's just I had a pet rat as a child as dear to me as i-Chalya is to you, and I remember being very young, about your age, and being horrified at the experiments my father and the other lab techs preformed on them. I remember being very young and wondering if my parents were right and there was a God, and if he looked at us the way my father looked at those lab rats...don't look at me like that, Spock. I know it was riduculous, but I was a very philosophical child.”
“Amanda, ashayam, your philosophical bent is far from riduculous, despite the...eccentrities of your analogies. Indeed, it is a testament to the brightness of y-”
A sharp pain cleft Spock's mind in two
Like in Plato's Symposium when they split down into
The Blue Half=cold, plantary, symmetrical as beauty
The Principle of NonContradiction: A property cannot both belong and not belong to a subject at the same time and in the same respect ~ ( P & ~P)[‘~’ means ‘not’] (the Earth philosopher Aristotle tried to write an argument for this in the metaphysics which is confusing because any logical argument pressuposses the principle before arguing...a Vulcan would have simply took it as it was) This is different than the Law of Identity which says “P is P” Principle of Excluded Middle: Between a statement and its negation there is no middle term. Judgments are either true or false. (P or ~P) there are logical fallacies, Spock, which you must know by the time you are two so you can recognize them: “Modus Pones”:(if P then Q, P, thus Q) Modus Tollens (if P then Q, not Q, therfore not P) Affiriming the Consequent (if P then Q, Q, therefore P) Denying the Antecedent (if P then Q, not P, thus Q)....t
there are more, and those are merely the structural fallacies.
The informal fallacies are harder, Spock.
With the structural, it is obvious when the conclusion is not entailed by faulty structure in the premises
With the other kind, it all hinges on the truth statement of the premises
“Classical defintion of knowledge: a true justified belief. S knows that P when P meets the standards of justification and Ask [someone] whether, if his prince demanded, on pain of… immediate execution, that he give false testimony against an honourable man who the prince would like to destroy under a plausible pretext, he would consider it possible to overcome his love of life… He would perhaps not venture to assert whether he would do it or not, but he must admit without hesitation that it would be possible for him. He judges, therefore, that he can do something because he is aware that he ought to do it and cognises freedom within him, which, without the moral law, would have remained unknown to him. And the other one Spock deeply loved when his mother read to him “Two things fill the mind with ever new and increasing admiration and awe, the more often and steadily we reflect upon them: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me”
“Father, why have you chosen a Vulcan woman for your new bondmate? You once told me marrying a human was the logical course of action.”
“As it was...when I was Ambassador to Earth, when our species was not in dire need of repopulatoin. Marrying your mother was the logical course of action at the time. I have chosen T'Pharan as my new mate because we are from different clans, therefore, our offspring will have a great genetic diversity and appreciate our different cultures.”
“And I...I shall be bonded to T'Pring, after all?”
“Yes. After the destruction of our homeplanet, the girl has come to her senses and it has accepted that the logical course of action is to bond with you when her time comes.”
Red Half: Molton Hot, Passion, Unforgettable Fire
Do I dare disturb the universe/in a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse i carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) let me not to Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; and the poetry book his mother read him ripped beautifully at its thick spine as viciously furiously he sunk his fingers into those browning pages, those words her voice would never slid over reduced to pulp within minutes a ball of light comes up a street meets a park, enters. A translucent statue stands inside one that holds the day & explains...
She will never read to me
Quoth the raven, nevermore
All other books were lost with her
I waked, she fled, and day brought back my night
There would be no more poems and no more love
Mere anachy was unleashed upon the world
Still,
I would leap too
into the light if I had the chance...
At the age of seven a star crumbled inward on a scree while billions around the galaxy watched, and Spock never read poetry agI rise with my red hair and I eat men like air-
()()()
Fear is the heart of love
Fear what you love
In respect, in awe, in fear and trembling, be grateful for the hand of Federation which does not smite you down.
All you have you have because of the Federation
You would be a wild thing, violent as a beast without its laws
Is it so much to ask that you obey them?
Is it so much to ask you give it all?
....this was the voice Spock recognized as Dr. Noel's, slipping siren-smooth through the static of the warring halves within him.
()()()
“What is the source of our sense of an ongoing and invariable self that persists throughout all the changes in our experience?”
()()()
“Sorry about that,” Dr. Noel's prescense was too close; he was aware of his body again. “The machine was not supposed to do that, you are supposed to be receiving messages and stimulus responses. Like in classical conditioning. Sometimes the stimuluses trigger flashbacks, but you...you seemed to be flashing back the entire time. Perhaps your Vulcan physiology is throwing the machine off...we thought we had prepared for you, but apparently, we hadn't. We will have this sorted out by tomorrow.”
Numb to the world, Spock rose to his feet.
“Thank you, Dr. Noel.” he said stiffly, with a nod.
He exited the training building composed and calm as gliding across a library floor. He almost made it to the male's restroom before falling to his knees and retching up pure stomach acid.
ansley15.livejournal.com/4032.html
Author's note:
Sorry that was weird, but it was really necessary. I will refrain from going too trippy from now on.
For the logic section, I just rattled off some very simple logical truths that you learn in a introduction to Symbolic Logic course, because I figured Vulcans probably teach their kids this stuff from infancy, and it's about Spock remembering stuff from when he was a baby. That, and I don't feel comfortable talking about higher, complex analytic logic (I'm just a kid geez, I don't know this stuff :P )
Passages from Kant: one from the “Groundwork for the Metaphysics of Morality” (the long one) and the second one is a heavily, heavily, heavily paraphrased reference to the Transcedental Deduction Argument from “The Critque of Pure Reason”, which I will admit flat up to not having read in its entirity (though I will be forced to this September.) The third is a very famous one (the one on Kant's tombstone) from “Critqiue of Practical Reason” about the starry sky and moral law within. I know none of you care but I always feel like I should acknowledge who I am quoting...even if they've been dead a few hundred years (and my inner nerd has always found something vaguely Vulcan about much 18th century German ethics so the quotes felt right.)
Okay, poets quoted (in order): T.S. Eliot, e.e. Cummings, William Shakesphere, Eileen Myles (who I've met!!),Edgar Allen Poe, John Milton, James Wright, William Butler Yates. If you reeealy want to know a particular line, just ask. Or google ;)