(no subject)
hello friends. I trust everyone is having a good semester/week at work/... whatever...
My question this time is... why is it that some days i can't shake someone off my mind?? I dream about him during the night and wake up with him on my mind... and obviously can't get him off. Conversely, sometimes i will go a week without so much as a second thought. If he is important enough for me to think about all day and dream about all night why isn't he on my mind more often over a period of time.
My guess is that it isn't necessarily him. Its every relationship i've had. It's all the "what ifs" i've ever had. I can't even remember many of the bad aspects of our relationship... i know why it ended, why it began, and a bit of the messy stuff in the middle... but none of the petty stuff that everone goes through... i mean hell... technically he wasn't even my boyfriend because he was afraid of the commitment. HA...
I guess when it all boils down to it. I do miss him. He knows that. I miss him as a friend. I miss being able to talk to him about everything. There were a lot of things going on with my friends that i couldn't talk about to anyone but him. He knows secrets and i miss having someone to tell them too.
I have a very bad habit of making guys who i really like and then date good friends. I tend to confide in them and obviously trust them. So it is usually a double whammy when we break up... i loss one of my good friends and a boyfriend. I guess i have two options: (1) never trust another boyfriend ever again... no secrets, no learning about intrests or goals, only purly sexual relationships from now on. or (2) wed the next guy i date seriously..... NEITHER are likely solutions.
So I'm back where i started...
Do i do this to myself?? Do i place unneeded pressure on myself?? Do i create difficulties to keep my mind occupied??
who knows...
My question this time is... why is it that some days i can't shake someone off my mind?? I dream about him during the night and wake up with him on my mind... and obviously can't get him off. Conversely, sometimes i will go a week without so much as a second thought. If he is important enough for me to think about all day and dream about all night why isn't he on my mind more often over a period of time.
My guess is that it isn't necessarily him. Its every relationship i've had. It's all the "what ifs" i've ever had. I can't even remember many of the bad aspects of our relationship... i know why it ended, why it began, and a bit of the messy stuff in the middle... but none of the petty stuff that everone goes through... i mean hell... technically he wasn't even my boyfriend because he was afraid of the commitment. HA...
I guess when it all boils down to it. I do miss him. He knows that. I miss him as a friend. I miss being able to talk to him about everything. There were a lot of things going on with my friends that i couldn't talk about to anyone but him. He knows secrets and i miss having someone to tell them too.
I have a very bad habit of making guys who i really like and then date good friends. I tend to confide in them and obviously trust them. So it is usually a double whammy when we break up... i loss one of my good friends and a boyfriend. I guess i have two options: (1) never trust another boyfriend ever again... no secrets, no learning about intrests or goals, only purly sexual relationships from now on. or (2) wed the next guy i date seriously..... NEITHER are likely solutions.
So I'm back where i started...
Do i do this to myself?? Do i place unneeded pressure on myself?? Do i create difficulties to keep my mind occupied??
who knows...