Rants
I'm not really sure what my deal is lately. I've had a lot of time to think about random things and life. I've come to the conclusion that I am entirely too serious about things. I need to seriously chill out and let life take its course. I'm sick of being so upset over little things, or even big things. I wish I could just be happy. And lately, I really havn't been. I thought I was, but when it comes down to it, I really wasn't. And really havn't been. All I've been doing lately is fighting with my dad, and trying to figure out what I want to do with my relationships and school. I am seriously so clueless about so much. I've spent so much time worrying about things that arn't of any importance, that I havn't taken the time to think about the things that really matter.
Such as school or a job. I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate, and I have no job. I turn 16 in August, and although it's a while away, it's not long enough to make much money. I'm going to have car insurance to pay for, and I might have to pay back my parents for the car. I'm still not really sure on that deal.
I've also been thinking a lot lately about how fast it seems like I'm growing up. I've always been pretty mature for my age, for whatever reason, I don't know why. But I sit back and think about how damn bad I wish I didn't give two shits about things. I'm a sophomore in high school. It's the second semester. We picked our classes for next year already. I'll be a junior, and after that, I'm going to be a senior. I'm not ready to grow up yet. I'm not ready to pay bills or go to college. I'm not ready to have a job and live on my own. All that scares me. I wish I didn't have to think about all that stuff, but when it comes down to it, I HAVE to. It's not that far away, and I need to know what I'm going to do with my life. I hate school, I don't want to go to college. But now 'adays, it seems like you can't make a living without it. I want to go to tech school, definately.. Maybe after that, take a year off, and then think about going to college.
I guess that's part of the reason that I've decided to let all realtionships go. I hate being alone, but I don't have the time to be all about one person right now.I don't want to be with anyone, and I don't want to do anything that will keep me attached to a person. It's definately not something I could handle right now.
I was told today that I'm a bitch. I don't want to be a bitch to people, but I don't want people to walk all over me either. There's so much people think they know about me and don't. I'm so sick of the people who talk like they know me, or know why I do the things I do. I hate the hypocricy of everyone I know and everything I see.
Anyway. Enough of the ranting. Last night Lebanon and Hempfield played for districts at gs. It was such a great game. Lebanon won by ONE mother fucking point at the buzzer. The last 10 seconds of the game must have played out for 5 minutes. It was definately entertaining.
I got home and watched the O.C, then the American Idol that was taped. Wasn't really happy about it, but oh well. Tonight there's nothing special on. So maybe I'll watch a dvd or something.
One more rant.. Listening to the radio tonight, I've realized how much I hate that fucking song by No Doubt "It's my life". I liked it at the beginning, but my GOD is it ever over played. @#$%@$&@$^!@$#!#$!#$^@* I want to call the radio and tell them to ban the song. It's every other song played, and I hate it.
That's it for tonight. :) Bye everyone.
Such as school or a job. I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate, and I have no job. I turn 16 in August, and although it's a while away, it's not long enough to make much money. I'm going to have car insurance to pay for, and I might have to pay back my parents for the car. I'm still not really sure on that deal.
I've also been thinking a lot lately about how fast it seems like I'm growing up. I've always been pretty mature for my age, for whatever reason, I don't know why. But I sit back and think about how damn bad I wish I didn't give two shits about things. I'm a sophomore in high school. It's the second semester. We picked our classes for next year already. I'll be a junior, and after that, I'm going to be a senior. I'm not ready to grow up yet. I'm not ready to pay bills or go to college. I'm not ready to have a job and live on my own. All that scares me. I wish I didn't have to think about all that stuff, but when it comes down to it, I HAVE to. It's not that far away, and I need to know what I'm going to do with my life. I hate school, I don't want to go to college. But now 'adays, it seems like you can't make a living without it. I want to go to tech school, definately.. Maybe after that, take a year off, and then think about going to college.
I guess that's part of the reason that I've decided to let all realtionships go. I hate being alone, but I don't have the time to be all about one person right now.I don't want to be with anyone, and I don't want to do anything that will keep me attached to a person. It's definately not something I could handle right now.
I was told today that I'm a bitch. I don't want to be a bitch to people, but I don't want people to walk all over me either. There's so much people think they know about me and don't. I'm so sick of the people who talk like they know me, or know why I do the things I do. I hate the hypocricy of everyone I know and everything I see.
Anyway. Enough of the ranting. Last night Lebanon and Hempfield played for districts at gs. It was such a great game. Lebanon won by ONE mother fucking point at the buzzer. The last 10 seconds of the game must have played out for 5 minutes. It was definately entertaining.
I got home and watched the O.C, then the American Idol that was taped. Wasn't really happy about it, but oh well. Tonight there's nothing special on. So maybe I'll watch a dvd or something.
One more rant.. Listening to the radio tonight, I've realized how much I hate that fucking song by No Doubt "It's my life". I liked it at the beginning, but my GOD is it ever over played. @#$%@$&@$^!@$#!#$!#$^@* I want to call the radio and tell them to ban the song. It's every other song played, and I hate it.
That's it for tonight. :) Bye everyone.