Privy Counsel
I really do love my job. I get to travel, see all sorts of interesting places, and meet lots of great people. But like anyone else, I have my pet peeves. Right now, I find myself peeved about the lack of privy (aka restroom, porta-toilet) etiquette some folks have. I often have no other recourse than to use porta-toilets when out at fair sites, and it is disturbing to be forced to use one that has been rendered disgusting by an ill-mannered person.
But since it is possible that some people might never have been taught proper privy manners, I feel it would be helpful to spell them out for benefit of all of us that have to use these types of facilities.
Let's start with a simple one:
When you are done, close the lid!
This is not a "seat up/seat down" argument. The lid over the toilet should remain closed for a very simple reason. That reason is stench. When the lid is down, privies are designed to vent gas from waste outside/above the toilet. When you leave the lid up, said gas collects inside instead. Keep the stench down by keeping the lid down!
Privies are Unisex
The thing to the left of the toilet seat is a URINAL. Urinals are places where men are meant to urinate. They are not trashcans. They are not ashtrays. And for the love of all, ladies, they are not purse shelves! (Yes I've heard of this.) Do not put any non-liquid into a urinal. It clogs the drain, and then the next man to pee ends up leaving an odorous sinkful that just sits there smelling until the thing is cleaned. This could be hours, or even days, depending on the circumstances.
NO HOVERING!!!!
I cannot stress this enough. The seat of a toilet is probably the cleanest spot in a bathroom. Watch MythBusters if you don't believe me. Your butt cheeks/thighs are covering the seat when you sit, so waste doesn't touch the seat. HOVERING over the seat to pee, however, ends up leaving your nasty waste all over everything. So park it! If the thought of putting your ass on a seat someone else has sat in disgusts you so much, how do you ever leave the house? If you absolutely MUST, then put a layer of clean TP over the seat before you sit!
Don't be a TP monster
A freshly-cleaned privy starts the day with two normal-sized rolls of single-ply TP. If we are REALLY lucky, a kind cleaner will stash a spare roll in a corner, if there is such a corner above ground level. If the toilet runs out of paper, then it becomes functionally useless until cleaned/restocked. So if you feel you MUST use twice as much because it is single-ply, or you simply MUST cover the seat with a layer of TP before you can sit down, then do us all a favor and bring a roll with you from home. Seriously. Just pack a roll in your day-bag. And use the bare minimum to get the job done.
If it can't be flushed, it doesn't go in a privy either.
I wish I didn't have to point this out, but I do. Trash doesn't go in a toilet. It clogs up the drains, and when the cleaners come, they have to unclog things. Would you try to flush an empty beer-can at home?
In fact, no trash in the toilets at all!
Seriously folks, "Feminine items", alcohol containers, dirty diapers... I've seen all sorts of absolutely disgusting things left laying inside porta-toilets. Just about every venue I've worked at has trash cans right outside the toilets. Throw your trash in the garbage can where it belongs!
S**t happens, so clean it up.
Basic politeness should tell you to tidy up after yourself when in public. We all know that accidents can happen. So, if you DO happen to "miss the mark" a little, wipe up after yourself! What is worse, cleaning up your own mess, or having to clean someone else's mess before you can go? Think about it, and then have the courtesy to leave the place in a condition where others can use it.
I think that should about cover it... No amount of chiding will prevent a drunk a$$ from trashing a porta-toilet, but if this enlightens even one person a little bit, then maybe I've helped make the world (or at least one privy) a slightly nicer place.
But since it is possible that some people might never have been taught proper privy manners, I feel it would be helpful to spell them out for benefit of all of us that have to use these types of facilities.
Let's start with a simple one:
When you are done, close the lid!
This is not a "seat up/seat down" argument. The lid over the toilet should remain closed for a very simple reason. That reason is stench. When the lid is down, privies are designed to vent gas from waste outside/above the toilet. When you leave the lid up, said gas collects inside instead. Keep the stench down by keeping the lid down!
Privies are Unisex
The thing to the left of the toilet seat is a URINAL. Urinals are places where men are meant to urinate. They are not trashcans. They are not ashtrays. And for the love of all, ladies, they are not purse shelves! (Yes I've heard of this.) Do not put any non-liquid into a urinal. It clogs the drain, and then the next man to pee ends up leaving an odorous sinkful that just sits there smelling until the thing is cleaned. This could be hours, or even days, depending on the circumstances.
NO HOVERING!!!!
I cannot stress this enough. The seat of a toilet is probably the cleanest spot in a bathroom. Watch MythBusters if you don't believe me. Your butt cheeks/thighs are covering the seat when you sit, so waste doesn't touch the seat. HOVERING over the seat to pee, however, ends up leaving your nasty waste all over everything. So park it! If the thought of putting your ass on a seat someone else has sat in disgusts you so much, how do you ever leave the house? If you absolutely MUST, then put a layer of clean TP over the seat before you sit!
Don't be a TP monster
A freshly-cleaned privy starts the day with two normal-sized rolls of single-ply TP. If we are REALLY lucky, a kind cleaner will stash a spare roll in a corner, if there is such a corner above ground level. If the toilet runs out of paper, then it becomes functionally useless until cleaned/restocked. So if you feel you MUST use twice as much because it is single-ply, or you simply MUST cover the seat with a layer of TP before you can sit down, then do us all a favor and bring a roll with you from home. Seriously. Just pack a roll in your day-bag. And use the bare minimum to get the job done.
If it can't be flushed, it doesn't go in a privy either.
I wish I didn't have to point this out, but I do. Trash doesn't go in a toilet. It clogs up the drains, and when the cleaners come, they have to unclog things. Would you try to flush an empty beer-can at home?
In fact, no trash in the toilets at all!
Seriously folks, "Feminine items", alcohol containers, dirty diapers... I've seen all sorts of absolutely disgusting things left laying inside porta-toilets. Just about every venue I've worked at has trash cans right outside the toilets. Throw your trash in the garbage can where it belongs!
S**t happens, so clean it up.
Basic politeness should tell you to tidy up after yourself when in public. We all know that accidents can happen. So, if you DO happen to "miss the mark" a little, wipe up after yourself! What is worse, cleaning up your own mess, or having to clean someone else's mess before you can go? Think about it, and then have the courtesy to leave the place in a condition where others can use it.
I think that should about cover it... No amount of chiding will prevent a drunk a$$ from trashing a porta-toilet, but if this enlightens even one person a little bit, then maybe I've helped make the world (or at least one privy) a slightly nicer place.