I really hate my brain.
Especially when it gets the crazy urge to angst, so it starts twisting the Buffy/Angel storyline into a Merlin universe and I'm left with incomplete IM fic and yet another crazy, ridiculously long AU idea rattling around in my brain. Thanks, mind. Thanks.
anowlinsunshine: AGH
anowlinsunshine: I SHOULD NOT BE WATCHING THIS GODDAMNED SCENE AGAIN
anowlinsunshine: I DID THE SAME THING WITH DOOMSDAY WHEN I FIRST SAW IT AND IT BROKE MY HEART AND IT'S DOING IT AGAIN NOW
anowlinsunshine: also, it's making me want to write Merlin in Buffy 'verse
anowlinsunshine: not quite sure yet exactly how it would work and fit the parameters set for Watchers and Slayers in Buffy, as i keep seeing Arthur as the Slayer
anowlinsunshine: who's been taught all his life by Uther, his Watcher (maybe they're not related? Uther's just like a father to Arthur? or something) that vampires are absolutely always evil
anowlinsunshine: and he believes it, totally and utterly, until he meets a ~~mysterious man who keeps helping Arthur escape from nasty situations where he's over-powered because he's over-estimated his own ability, even with Slayer-enhanced strength/speed
anowlinsunshine: (three guess on who said ~~mysterious man turns out to be, and the first two don't count)
anowlinsunshine: but oh!
anowlinsunshine: OH!
anowlinsunshine: it could be made more interesting than just "lol guyz, il Buffy something fierce, so i copied it with Merlin peepz, aren't i great?"
anowlinsunshine: because i could work in the reincarnation aspect
anowlinsunshine: say that somehow, Nimueh had returned through a spell that another being cast on her which gave her enhanced physical and magical powers, as well as immortality, in exchange for her soul
anowlinsunshine: (vampirism, essentially)
anowlinsunshine: and Nimueh, newly-resurrected, had wanted to ensure that no magic user could be slaughtered as Uther had done in his purges, so she began spreading it, even when the subject was unwilling
anowlinsunshine: and somehow or other, she got Merlin, probably after Arthur died
anowlinsunshine:he would have had immortality on his own, as per the legends, but she could have wanted the extra precaution, or perhaps just revenge on Arthur, as she would know that a turned Merlin would be horribly different from the Merlin Arthur knew, which would just about kill Arthur whenever he did return in the hour of Britain's (or the world's; can't remember which) greatest need
anowlinsunshine: so she turns Merlin and Merlin becomes this vicious killer (vampire nature combined with maybe the secret hope that if he causes enough destruction and terror, Arthur will be called back to save the world? i don't know at this point)
anowlinsunshine: and it lasts like this for hundreds of years, Merlin slaughtering people for no reason other than that he can
anowlinsunshine: until eventually, someone curses him with the return of his soul, he almost goes insane with guilt, leaves Nimueh's (or maybe Vivienne's, if i want to go with the legend here) coven and runs into hiding
anowlinsunshine: fast-forward to slayer!Arthur, who knows his job re: vampires, but not the details of his past life
anowlinsunshine: but that's why he finds it so easy to fall in love with this ~~mysterious man
anowlinsunshine: the part of him that's the old king recognizes Merlin and is drawn to him, or something
anowlinsunshine: (lol, this is getting more outlandish with every sentence i write)
anowlinsunshine: so stuff happens
anowlinsunshine: Arthur finds out Merlin's a vampire, then hears the story about Merlin and his soul
anowlinsunshine: (bwahahaha, i just realized. just like Angel is Angelus when he's soulless, Merlin would be Emrys. i need to stop thinking about this so much. i already have a massive Wrede-verse!Merlin AU to write; i certainly don't need another)
anowlinsunshine: somewhere along the line, but probably right after or around when Arthur learns the story of Merlin's soul, Arthur remembers who he is
anowlinsunshine: he could start having dreams that are really memories or something, and Merlin fesses up when Arthur confronts him
anowlinsunshine: it all comes flooding back. emotion and finally knowing take over, and they sleep together
anowlinsunshine: and when Arthur wakes in the morning, he finds out why Nimueh's revenge was so well-plotted -- he's just found Merlin again, and now he's lost him to this Emrys creature, who returned after Merlin lost his soul again
anowlinsunshine: shenanigans ensue, Emrys begins targeting Arthur's friends (Uther, naturally; Morgana, Arthur’s step-sister and a part-time witch; Gwen, Morgana's best friend at the school. to work that in, i could say that Uther had been sending Arthur to boarding school to get a better education in history, but Arthur kept getting expelled because of Slayer activities, so Uther finally sent him to Morgana's school where he could keep an eye on the boy.)
anowlinsunshine: and Emrys, for some reason, decides to open the hell dimension
anowlinsunshine: maybe he's frustrated because he feels that this Arthur isn't enough like the one he remembers, the one that was his, so he's hoping that the imminent destruction of the world via hell dimension will trigger the return of the Arthur from olden days
anowlinsunshine: or something
anowlinsunshine: anyways, Morgana keeps getting visions of Arthur and Emrys fighting, so she knows that this has to happen, so she purposefully botches the initial try at restoring Merlin's soul
anowlinsunshine: Arthur finally confronts Emrys just as Morgana decides that fuck it, she's not going to do this to Arthur, no matter what her "gift" is telling her, so she tries the spell again
anowlinsunshine: but it kicks in too late, and Emrys has already opened the hell dimension
anowlinsunshine: so Merlin's soul comes back right as Arthur's about to kill him, and he's horribly confused
anowlinsunshine: and Arthur's no help. he just stands there, eyes wide and posture stiff with shock, as Merlin pulls him close, cards his fingers through Arthur's hair while he whispers, soft and shaky, questions and bewilderments against Arthur's cheek and half-into Arthur's ear.
anowlinsunshine: Arthur finally finds the strength to push him back a bit (but he can't not keep his hands on Merlin's arms, not now that he's finally got him back), and says, "It's complicated. It was -- you. You were him, and he wanted me, but not this me, and he. He."
anowlinsunshine: And here Merlin places a finger on his lips, silencing him. Arthur would be indignant about that, but he's still rather shocked about what's happened, still raw and terrified about what he knows he has to do.
anowlinsunshine: Merlin turns his head as his eyes dart around the room, from the broken furniture and scuffed marble floors to the bloody knife at the foot of the statue behind them. He takes in the swirling, misty portal pouring from the statue's mouth, and Arthur can feel the instant his muscles tense as he gets it, gets what brought Arthur here in the first place and what's making him so unresponsive now.
anowlinsunshine: (are you invisible or gone for real?)
anowlinsunshine: (also, tell me if you want me to stop spewing stuff at you.)
jb_spring: Invisible.
anowlinsunshine: When Merlin looks back at Arthur, his eyes are heavy blue, sad but resolved, and Arthur almost can't bear to look at them. Arthur takes a deep breath that does nothing to calm him, but at least makes his voice steady when he says, a last-ditch effort to forestall what he knows is inevitable, "Isn't there anything you can do? Magic, or something?"
anowlinsunshine: Merlin just gives him that little half-smile he does when he's calling Arthur on his bullshit, and Arthur's heart clenches. He's expecting it, but it still stings and aches when Merlin says, "No. Arthur, I. I wish, but no."
He reaches his fingers up to stroke over the cut on Arthur's cheek, soft and too-gentle in a way he hasn't been with Arthur in centuries, a way he's never been with Arthur in this lifetime, and something old and ancient twists tight in Arthur's chest with the weight of what he has to do.
anowlinsunshine: (ah, i'm sorry. i should be doing german homework, but i really think i'd rather spew Buffy 'verse that will probably never see the light of day at you.)
jb_spring: Have at it.
jb_spring: XD
anowlinsunshine: Arthur leans up and kisses Merlin, closing his eyes as he goes. It's hot and wet and still too-soft, desperate in a way that Arthur can't really describe and doesn't want to. He tastes in Merlin's mouth salt, bitter and abrasive and all-too fitting for the quiet urgency that underlies this entire exchange. Arthur presses deeper, again and again and again, not wanting to let Merlin go even as he hears the portal swirl more loudly and threateningly behind them.
anowlinsunshine: Finally, Merlin pulls back. His eyes are still closed, face soft and open and lined visibly with regret, and Arthur leans in to kiss him again.
anowlinsunshine: He's stopped by Merlin's hand on his chest. It rests there firmly while the other traces and caresses down Arthur's sword-arm. Merlin's fingers wrap around Arthur's, still clutched around the hilt of the blade, and Merlin gently bends Arthur's arm up. He steps back as he does so, allowing the sword to stretch between them, tip of the blade resting in the center of his chest.
anowlinsunshine: Arthur's arm shakes, but Merlin's fingers still trace over his wrist comfortingly and steadyingly. He lets the tips of his fingertips fall from where they had rested, extended with his stretched arm, over Arthur's heart, and Arthur feels another sharp jolt of desperation and inevitability, even though this is so many kinds of wrong and unfair, course through him.
anowlinsunshine: "I love you," he says, voice cracking.
Merlin's fingers tighten on his wrist and he smiles, sad and genuine, when he says, "You, too. Always."
anowlinsunshine: Arthur's heart catches in his throat, feels like it stops when the next thing out of Merlin's mouth is a whispered, "Do it. Come on, Arthur, now."
Arthur swallows, blinks heavily, and grips the sword in both hands to steady it. Merlin's other hand comes up to lace with Arthur's and his own at the sword's hilt, and before Arthur can do anything, he pulls the sword in toward himself.
jb_spring: ( Let's depress the entire world, shall we!?
jb_spring: (I have to go to bed now. But if you write more... PLEASE email it to me. )
anowlinsunshine: It slides in easily, a slick, fluid motion accompanied by the sick sound of muscle and skin tearing under highly-sharpened steel. Merlin gasps, high and pained, and Arthur feels that old and ancient something rip apart inside his chest. This is wrong, moreso than anything he's ever done before; he's supposed to protect Merlin and he's killing him, he's killing him, and there's nothing he can do, and just.
anowlinsunshine: ('kay. i can send it to your phone if you like? and don't blame me! you knew this was going to be a depressing story going into it!)
jb_spring: Oh god... now I'll be picturing all this in bed.
jb_spring: I honestly won't read it on my phone. I have to go on an epic hunt for my ATM card right now, which is not in my wallet where I put it.
jb_spring: So it's definitely in a box in my room.
anowlinsunshine: Merlin's eyes fly open and they're wide and open and glassy blue. He croaks out, "Let go, Arthur," and Arthur numbly releases the sword. His arms, his whole body, shake with the effort to not run to Merlin and free him, save him, even as tendrils of mist from the portal begin to wrap around him.
anowlinsunshine: (okay.)
jb_spring: (Goodnight! Off to the battle!)
anowlinsunshine: Arthur watches, helpless, as the mist encircles Merlin's waist and arms and legs. It glows brightly where it touches the sword, the blood dripping down Merlin's torso, and wind gusts through the room as the vortex swirls with ever-increasing intensity.
anowlinsunshine: (okay. night!)
anowlinsunshine: Arthur's hair whips about his face, but his gaze is fixed on Merlin's. His eyes are dull in comparison to the shining portal behind him, which glows silver-white and until, finally, it shines a bright, intense white that forces Arthur to close his eyes.
anowlinsunshine: When he opens them, the last vestiges of a breeze blow through the foyer, small sparks lick across the marble, and Merlin and the portal are gone. Arthur can practically feel his heart break irreparably, and for a moment, his vision whites out. Arthur sees flashes of memories, glimpses of bright blue eyes, curved smiles, and wind-ruffled hair that leave him filled with a longing so intense, he falls to his knees when he opens his eyes to find Merlin lost, taken beyond his reach.
anowlinsunshine: Arthur brings his hands up to cover his mouth and sobs once, twice, before going silent. His shoulders still shake violently, and his vision still fogs over with tears, but otherwise, he is silent.
anowlinsunshine: He is silent as he rises, an indeterminate amount of time later, to his feet. He is silent as he walks over to the statue that housed the portal, and he is silent as he methodically destroys it, dismembers the beast depicted and smashes the marble to dust that swirls at his feet. He is silent as he turns on his heel and leaves the mansion, leaves the last traces of Merlin and Emrys behind.
anowlinsunshine: Outside, the air is still and cool. There is no visible sign that Arthur has just fulfilled his purpose, that he has again saved Britain during its greatest hour of need, that he has lost everything in doing so. Outside, there is only Arthur, silent and numb, and the echoing rhythm of Arthur's footsteps as he walks down the street. Outside, there is normalcy, and peace, and security, and Arthur feels displaced in it.
He keeps walking, no real destination in mind, only to feel the tilt and smoothness of the asphalt beneath his feet, so different from the unbalanced dirt paths of his kingdom, because while it's not normal, it's mindless and it has to be enough.
For now, it has to be.
anowlinsunshine: (blegh, i HATEHATEHATE that ending, but i couldn't think of anything better. BLEAGH.)
In other, better news, FOB concert last night was AMAZING, seriously. I didn't want it to end, ever. And I've started listening to All Time Low because they were so fucking fantastic. Good times.
anowlinsunshine: AGH
anowlinsunshine: I SHOULD NOT BE WATCHING THIS GODDAMNED SCENE AGAIN
anowlinsunshine: I DID THE SAME THING WITH DOOMSDAY WHEN I FIRST SAW IT AND IT BROKE MY HEART AND IT'S DOING IT AGAIN NOW
anowlinsunshine: also, it's making me want to write Merlin in Buffy 'verse
anowlinsunshine: not quite sure yet exactly how it would work and fit the parameters set for Watchers and Slayers in Buffy, as i keep seeing Arthur as the Slayer
anowlinsunshine: who's been taught all his life by Uther, his Watcher (maybe they're not related? Uther's just like a father to Arthur? or something) that vampires are absolutely always evil
anowlinsunshine: and he believes it, totally and utterly, until he meets a ~~mysterious man who keeps helping Arthur escape from nasty situations where he's over-powered because he's over-estimated his own ability, even with Slayer-enhanced strength/speed
anowlinsunshine: (three guess on who said ~~mysterious man turns out to be, and the first two don't count)
anowlinsunshine: but oh!
anowlinsunshine: OH!
anowlinsunshine: it could be made more interesting than just "lol guyz, il Buffy something fierce, so i copied it with Merlin peepz, aren't i great?"
anowlinsunshine: because i could work in the reincarnation aspect
anowlinsunshine: say that somehow, Nimueh had returned through a spell that another being cast on her which gave her enhanced physical and magical powers, as well as immortality, in exchange for her soul
anowlinsunshine: (vampirism, essentially)
anowlinsunshine: and Nimueh, newly-resurrected, had wanted to ensure that no magic user could be slaughtered as Uther had done in his purges, so she began spreading it, even when the subject was unwilling
anowlinsunshine: and somehow or other, she got Merlin, probably after Arthur died
anowlinsunshine:he would have had immortality on his own, as per the legends, but she could have wanted the extra precaution, or perhaps just revenge on Arthur, as she would know that a turned Merlin would be horribly different from the Merlin Arthur knew, which would just about kill Arthur whenever he did return in the hour of Britain's (or the world's; can't remember which) greatest need
anowlinsunshine: so she turns Merlin and Merlin becomes this vicious killer (vampire nature combined with maybe the secret hope that if he causes enough destruction and terror, Arthur will be called back to save the world? i don't know at this point)
anowlinsunshine: and it lasts like this for hundreds of years, Merlin slaughtering people for no reason other than that he can
anowlinsunshine: until eventually, someone curses him with the return of his soul, he almost goes insane with guilt, leaves Nimueh's (or maybe Vivienne's, if i want to go with the legend here) coven and runs into hiding
anowlinsunshine: fast-forward to slayer!Arthur, who knows his job re: vampires, but not the details of his past life
anowlinsunshine: but that's why he finds it so easy to fall in love with this ~~mysterious man
anowlinsunshine: the part of him that's the old king recognizes Merlin and is drawn to him, or something
anowlinsunshine: (lol, this is getting more outlandish with every sentence i write)
anowlinsunshine: so stuff happens
anowlinsunshine: Arthur finds out Merlin's a vampire, then hears the story about Merlin and his soul
anowlinsunshine: (bwahahaha, i just realized. just like Angel is Angelus when he's soulless, Merlin would be Emrys. i need to stop thinking about this so much. i already have a massive Wrede-verse!Merlin AU to write; i certainly don't need another)
anowlinsunshine: somewhere along the line, but probably right after or around when Arthur learns the story of Merlin's soul, Arthur remembers who he is
anowlinsunshine: he could start having dreams that are really memories or something, and Merlin fesses up when Arthur confronts him
anowlinsunshine: it all comes flooding back. emotion and finally knowing take over, and they sleep together
anowlinsunshine: and when Arthur wakes in the morning, he finds out why Nimueh's revenge was so well-plotted -- he's just found Merlin again, and now he's lost him to this Emrys creature, who returned after Merlin lost his soul again
anowlinsunshine: shenanigans ensue, Emrys begins targeting Arthur's friends (Uther, naturally; Morgana, Arthur’s step-sister and a part-time witch; Gwen, Morgana's best friend at the school. to work that in, i could say that Uther had been sending Arthur to boarding school to get a better education in history, but Arthur kept getting expelled because of Slayer activities, so Uther finally sent him to Morgana's school where he could keep an eye on the boy.)
anowlinsunshine: and Emrys, for some reason, decides to open the hell dimension
anowlinsunshine: maybe he's frustrated because he feels that this Arthur isn't enough like the one he remembers, the one that was his, so he's hoping that the imminent destruction of the world via hell dimension will trigger the return of the Arthur from olden days
anowlinsunshine: or something
anowlinsunshine: anyways, Morgana keeps getting visions of Arthur and Emrys fighting, so she knows that this has to happen, so she purposefully botches the initial try at restoring Merlin's soul
anowlinsunshine: Arthur finally confronts Emrys just as Morgana decides that fuck it, she's not going to do this to Arthur, no matter what her "gift" is telling her, so she tries the spell again
anowlinsunshine: but it kicks in too late, and Emrys has already opened the hell dimension
anowlinsunshine: so Merlin's soul comes back right as Arthur's about to kill him, and he's horribly confused
anowlinsunshine: and Arthur's no help. he just stands there, eyes wide and posture stiff with shock, as Merlin pulls him close, cards his fingers through Arthur's hair while he whispers, soft and shaky, questions and bewilderments against Arthur's cheek and half-into Arthur's ear.
anowlinsunshine: Arthur finally finds the strength to push him back a bit (but he can't not keep his hands on Merlin's arms, not now that he's finally got him back), and says, "It's complicated. It was -- you. You were him, and he wanted me, but not this me, and he. He."
anowlinsunshine: And here Merlin places a finger on his lips, silencing him. Arthur would be indignant about that, but he's still rather shocked about what's happened, still raw and terrified about what he knows he has to do.
anowlinsunshine: Merlin turns his head as his eyes dart around the room, from the broken furniture and scuffed marble floors to the bloody knife at the foot of the statue behind them. He takes in the swirling, misty portal pouring from the statue's mouth, and Arthur can feel the instant his muscles tense as he gets it, gets what brought Arthur here in the first place and what's making him so unresponsive now.
anowlinsunshine: (are you invisible or gone for real?)
anowlinsunshine: (also, tell me if you want me to stop spewing stuff at you.)
jb_spring: Invisible.
anowlinsunshine: When Merlin looks back at Arthur, his eyes are heavy blue, sad but resolved, and Arthur almost can't bear to look at them. Arthur takes a deep breath that does nothing to calm him, but at least makes his voice steady when he says, a last-ditch effort to forestall what he knows is inevitable, "Isn't there anything you can do? Magic, or something?"
anowlinsunshine: Merlin just gives him that little half-smile he does when he's calling Arthur on his bullshit, and Arthur's heart clenches. He's expecting it, but it still stings and aches when Merlin says, "No. Arthur, I. I wish, but no."
He reaches his fingers up to stroke over the cut on Arthur's cheek, soft and too-gentle in a way he hasn't been with Arthur in centuries, a way he's never been with Arthur in this lifetime, and something old and ancient twists tight in Arthur's chest with the weight of what he has to do.
anowlinsunshine: (ah, i'm sorry. i should be doing german homework, but i really think i'd rather spew Buffy 'verse that will probably never see the light of day at you.)
jb_spring: Have at it.
jb_spring: XD
anowlinsunshine: Arthur leans up and kisses Merlin, closing his eyes as he goes. It's hot and wet and still too-soft, desperate in a way that Arthur can't really describe and doesn't want to. He tastes in Merlin's mouth salt, bitter and abrasive and all-too fitting for the quiet urgency that underlies this entire exchange. Arthur presses deeper, again and again and again, not wanting to let Merlin go even as he hears the portal swirl more loudly and threateningly behind them.
anowlinsunshine: Finally, Merlin pulls back. His eyes are still closed, face soft and open and lined visibly with regret, and Arthur leans in to kiss him again.
anowlinsunshine: He's stopped by Merlin's hand on his chest. It rests there firmly while the other traces and caresses down Arthur's sword-arm. Merlin's fingers wrap around Arthur's, still clutched around the hilt of the blade, and Merlin gently bends Arthur's arm up. He steps back as he does so, allowing the sword to stretch between them, tip of the blade resting in the center of his chest.
anowlinsunshine: Arthur's arm shakes, but Merlin's fingers still trace over his wrist comfortingly and steadyingly. He lets the tips of his fingertips fall from where they had rested, extended with his stretched arm, over Arthur's heart, and Arthur feels another sharp jolt of desperation and inevitability, even though this is so many kinds of wrong and unfair, course through him.
anowlinsunshine: "I love you," he says, voice cracking.
Merlin's fingers tighten on his wrist and he smiles, sad and genuine, when he says, "You, too. Always."
anowlinsunshine: Arthur's heart catches in his throat, feels like it stops when the next thing out of Merlin's mouth is a whispered, "Do it. Come on, Arthur, now."
Arthur swallows, blinks heavily, and grips the sword in both hands to steady it. Merlin's other hand comes up to lace with Arthur's and his own at the sword's hilt, and before Arthur can do anything, he pulls the sword in toward himself.
jb_spring: ( Let's depress the entire world, shall we!?
jb_spring: (I have to go to bed now. But if you write more... PLEASE email it to me. )
anowlinsunshine: It slides in easily, a slick, fluid motion accompanied by the sick sound of muscle and skin tearing under highly-sharpened steel. Merlin gasps, high and pained, and Arthur feels that old and ancient something rip apart inside his chest. This is wrong, moreso than anything he's ever done before; he's supposed to protect Merlin and he's killing him, he's killing him, and there's nothing he can do, and just.
anowlinsunshine: ('kay. i can send it to your phone if you like? and don't blame me! you knew this was going to be a depressing story going into it!)
jb_spring: Oh god... now I'll be picturing all this in bed.
jb_spring: I honestly won't read it on my phone. I have to go on an epic hunt for my ATM card right now, which is not in my wallet where I put it.
jb_spring: So it's definitely in a box in my room.
anowlinsunshine: Merlin's eyes fly open and they're wide and open and glassy blue. He croaks out, "Let go, Arthur," and Arthur numbly releases the sword. His arms, his whole body, shake with the effort to not run to Merlin and free him, save him, even as tendrils of mist from the portal begin to wrap around him.
anowlinsunshine: (okay.)
jb_spring: (Goodnight! Off to the battle!)
anowlinsunshine: Arthur watches, helpless, as the mist encircles Merlin's waist and arms and legs. It glows brightly where it touches the sword, the blood dripping down Merlin's torso, and wind gusts through the room as the vortex swirls with ever-increasing intensity.
anowlinsunshine: (okay. night!)
anowlinsunshine: Arthur's hair whips about his face, but his gaze is fixed on Merlin's. His eyes are dull in comparison to the shining portal behind him, which glows silver-white and until, finally, it shines a bright, intense white that forces Arthur to close his eyes.
anowlinsunshine: When he opens them, the last vestiges of a breeze blow through the foyer, small sparks lick across the marble, and Merlin and the portal are gone. Arthur can practically feel his heart break irreparably, and for a moment, his vision whites out. Arthur sees flashes of memories, glimpses of bright blue eyes, curved smiles, and wind-ruffled hair that leave him filled with a longing so intense, he falls to his knees when he opens his eyes to find Merlin lost, taken beyond his reach.
anowlinsunshine: Arthur brings his hands up to cover his mouth and sobs once, twice, before going silent. His shoulders still shake violently, and his vision still fogs over with tears, but otherwise, he is silent.
anowlinsunshine: He is silent as he rises, an indeterminate amount of time later, to his feet. He is silent as he walks over to the statue that housed the portal, and he is silent as he methodically destroys it, dismembers the beast depicted and smashes the marble to dust that swirls at his feet. He is silent as he turns on his heel and leaves the mansion, leaves the last traces of Merlin and Emrys behind.
anowlinsunshine: Outside, the air is still and cool. There is no visible sign that Arthur has just fulfilled his purpose, that he has again saved Britain during its greatest hour of need, that he has lost everything in doing so. Outside, there is only Arthur, silent and numb, and the echoing rhythm of Arthur's footsteps as he walks down the street. Outside, there is normalcy, and peace, and security, and Arthur feels displaced in it.
He keeps walking, no real destination in mind, only to feel the tilt and smoothness of the asphalt beneath his feet, so different from the unbalanced dirt paths of his kingdom, because while it's not normal, it's mindless and it has to be enough.
For now, it has to be.
anowlinsunshine: (blegh, i HATEHATEHATE that ending, but i couldn't think of anything better. BLEAGH.)
In other, better news, FOB concert last night was AMAZING, seriously. I didn't want it to end, ever. And I've started listening to All Time Low because they were so fucking fantastic. Good times.