Jun 28, 2008 21:32
Title: Enough
Author: anoukinparis
Rating: R
Pairing: YooMin
Genre: One-shot (Part two in a little mini series), angst
Summary: So this is the sequel to Curve. I don't know if anyone will really remember the first one, much less read this, but we'll see. xDD Please enjoy!
You’re mad because I didn’t touch you, right?
I ignore that question rooted deep in his eyes and turn away every time he comes up to stand beside me, sits down on my side of the couch. I don’t want him there. He knows I don’t.
And I just can’t understand him. Memories of that night are burned thick into my mind.
Sometimes all I have to do is look at Jae and he’ll take me aside, somewhere I can never place, and kiss my lips until they’re bruised with love, until I have marks all over my body, all his, and know later that night that at least someone had been there to cause them.
Some nights Junsu will sneak into my bed when I can’t sleep. Curling up next to my arm, snug as a kitten, or crawling to settle on top of my hips, rocking me until my boxers become sticky. And I never know who’s the first to break the dark silence.
Even Yunho on occasion. In the morning, too early to think, taking me however I want, for as long as I want. But it never seems enough.
They’re not enough.
I don’t understand him.
Why am I doing this?
Some nights when Junsu doesn’t come I’ll mull it over. It starts with dusty thoughts, stretches of quiet, and always ends with my heart aching even more so then when I receive so much attention. I have it all, but I have nothing.
They’re not mine to take. They never were.
Because afterwards he’ll see me, and there’s that question, and it all falls to pointless nothing until the next day swings around, torturing me all over again.
Why am I doing this?
Whenever I see that curve I want to fill it.
I want to fill all of it, until it’s me, just me, no space, no questions.
No substitutes.
Just me.
I’m not mad because he didn’t touch me. I’m not disappointed or angry or irritated or sad.
I only feel a deep, deep emptiness, hollow from the ghost of what could have been a wonderful touch.
It would have been enough.
You, Yoochun.
anoukinparis,
smut,
oneshot,
angst,
yoomin