Why Wait
Title: Why Wait (oneshot)
Author: anoukinparis
Pairing: Yunjae
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: What do you want me to leave you? A kiss? Fine, I’ll do that. I’ll kiss you until my lips hurt and you grow tired of me or start to regret it or both. I’ll kiss your cheek and nothing else if that’s better. I’ll kiss anywhere you want me to.
A/N: Yunho's POV -- I swear my next yunjae fic will be happier lmao :')
What do you want me to leave you? A kiss? Fine, I’ll do that. I’ll kiss you until my lips hurt and you grow tired of me or start to regret it or both. I’ll kiss your cheek and nothing else if that’s better. I’ll kiss anywhere you want me to. Tell me to do it. Tell me to do something. Tell me so I don’t have to have this conversation with myself.
My throat sticks on all those thoughts, and you’re looking at me with the barest gleam that has nothing to do with the crisp air. Why wait? Why do we bother to wait for each other? It’s been years, and nothing has happened, not when we were younger, not when we were drunk, not when we were alone, celebrating, fighting, making up, growing up, so why do we still wait?
Because. Your lips quirk into a knowing smile as the silence stretches on too long, loses its urgency, becomes hopelessly familiar. A kiss? Impossible, isn’t it? Because. Because waiting makes us think the impossible will eventually happen.
That smile’s unbearable. I could smooth it off myself. I could take two steps forward and erase how bitter you look. I know I could. But I don’t. I don’t leave you anything.
Even if I don’t look back, it doesn’t matter. Even if you walk away before I can realize my mistake, it doesn’t matter. Because this won’t be the last time either.
~
There’s still fog on the windows when we get inside and slam the doors. Everything’s cold. We’re not facing each other but the icy breaths I’m panting out keep mingling with yours. It’s difficult to trace which breaths seep from your lips and which escape mine. There’s no division. Almost like touching.
Almost.
I give the driver my address first.
~
We met up to see what would happen. It only took five minutes to get the result, and now we’re both heavy with it, slack against the leather seats - no talking, just the radio, until the car pauses and that’s that. For a few moments I don’t move. Then, mechanically, my fingers find the handle. The sound seems to jar something, makes you snap those eyes to me, but I’m already turning toward the door. You echo my movements.
Haven’t we already tried tonight? Aren’t we the best at this part? But then I start to visualize all that waiting. I start to make it a concrete timeline. I pinpoint the missed opportunities and failed attempts in those three seconds it takes you to follow me up the steps and they’re already overflowing.
I was right in that it wouldn’t be the last time. But a kiss? Impossible?
In the grand scheme of the world it’s probably just a raw, clumsy thing exchanged between two people, but it burns - it honestly burns me, the breaths and the touch, and the pressure of you against me is just - it’s precious, it’s suddenly so precious I’m afraid I’ll never have it again, and whatever happens after we stop - when we stop, if we stop - let’s just remember this feeling of it and forget how long it took to get here.
Let’s leave each other with that much.
Author: anoukinparis
Pairing: Yunjae
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: What do you want me to leave you? A kiss? Fine, I’ll do that. I’ll kiss you until my lips hurt and you grow tired of me or start to regret it or both. I’ll kiss your cheek and nothing else if that’s better. I’ll kiss anywhere you want me to.
A/N: Yunho's POV -- I swear my next yunjae fic will be happier lmao :')
What do you want me to leave you? A kiss? Fine, I’ll do that. I’ll kiss you until my lips hurt and you grow tired of me or start to regret it or both. I’ll kiss your cheek and nothing else if that’s better. I’ll kiss anywhere you want me to. Tell me to do it. Tell me to do something. Tell me so I don’t have to have this conversation with myself.
My throat sticks on all those thoughts, and you’re looking at me with the barest gleam that has nothing to do with the crisp air. Why wait? Why do we bother to wait for each other? It’s been years, and nothing has happened, not when we were younger, not when we were drunk, not when we were alone, celebrating, fighting, making up, growing up, so why do we still wait?
Because. Your lips quirk into a knowing smile as the silence stretches on too long, loses its urgency, becomes hopelessly familiar. A kiss? Impossible, isn’t it? Because. Because waiting makes us think the impossible will eventually happen.
That smile’s unbearable. I could smooth it off myself. I could take two steps forward and erase how bitter you look. I know I could. But I don’t. I don’t leave you anything.
Even if I don’t look back, it doesn’t matter. Even if you walk away before I can realize my mistake, it doesn’t matter. Because this won’t be the last time either.
~
There’s still fog on the windows when we get inside and slam the doors. Everything’s cold. We’re not facing each other but the icy breaths I’m panting out keep mingling with yours. It’s difficult to trace which breaths seep from your lips and which escape mine. There’s no division. Almost like touching.
Almost.
I give the driver my address first.
~
We met up to see what would happen. It only took five minutes to get the result, and now we’re both heavy with it, slack against the leather seats - no talking, just the radio, until the car pauses and that’s that. For a few moments I don’t move. Then, mechanically, my fingers find the handle. The sound seems to jar something, makes you snap those eyes to me, but I’m already turning toward the door. You echo my movements.
Haven’t we already tried tonight? Aren’t we the best at this part? But then I start to visualize all that waiting. I start to make it a concrete timeline. I pinpoint the missed opportunities and failed attempts in those three seconds it takes you to follow me up the steps and they’re already overflowing.
I was right in that it wouldn’t be the last time. But a kiss? Impossible?
In the grand scheme of the world it’s probably just a raw, clumsy thing exchanged between two people, but it burns - it honestly burns me, the breaths and the touch, and the pressure of you against me is just - it’s precious, it’s suddenly so precious I’m afraid I’ll never have it again, and whatever happens after we stop - when we stop, if we stop - let’s just remember this feeling of it and forget how long it took to get here.
Let’s leave each other with that much.