...kind of interesting I guess
I made my family dinner again tonight (they call it "refining my cooking skills", I say I don't need it...not the point though).
After dinner I was doing the dishes and we were all talking. My dad cleared his throat and hesitantly said, "You guys... I've written Cassie three times... Why do you think she hasn't replied? She really wanted to talk to me, her letter sounded so desperate and you could tell it was something that she really wanted..."
Laurie and I just sat there.
I had no idea how to answer him and I felt really bad. I've never heard my dad talk like that. He actually sounded like he was hurt/worried about it. We started talking about it though and Laurie said something about "If I were in this position, I know that I would be very angry at you for a lot of reasons, it would be a hard step to take to actually talk to you." And then I thought about it and realized, well, she's 18... People at this age are at the stage where they are pulling away from their parents, not getting to know them and re-kindling relations. It's got to be really wierd.
I don't know why, but it made me really sad. I want to meet my sister. I want to get to talk to her. I really, really want to have that relationship that siblings have. But I feel like that's lost, like it's too late, and that makes me really sad, too.
Then I was sitting here at the computer earlier today and saw a picture upside down, so I turned it over and it was my uncle. It was taken in September. He looks so different. Jail hasn't been that good on him. He's totally bald and... well, I guess it doesn't really matter to anyone, so I won't go into how much he's changed.... but it's a lot.
It made me really sad, too. Because it's only been a year, not even that, since his jail sentencing. And he's got another 13-14 years to go. I feel so bad for him. I feel so guilty for not writing to him, not sending him pictures. I told him I would. So why haven't I?
Then I think about it... Why haven't I written letters to any of you guys? God, I'm losing it. I'm losing everything I had in WA, and I haven't got much here in MT. I feel like I don't really belong anywhere. I am so upset right now, and there's nothing I can say or do to fix it.
I hear how much stuff at Liberty has changed. I feel like I'm not there for my best friend when I can tell that she really needs me. I'm sorry Tina, I wish to god that I could be there for you. I want to be there for you more than anything. I want everything to be better. I want you to be happy. I want everything to be like it was last june. Do you remember everything we did?
After dinner I was doing the dishes and we were all talking. My dad cleared his throat and hesitantly said, "You guys... I've written Cassie three times... Why do you think she hasn't replied? She really wanted to talk to me, her letter sounded so desperate and you could tell it was something that she really wanted..."
Laurie and I just sat there.
I had no idea how to answer him and I felt really bad. I've never heard my dad talk like that. He actually sounded like he was hurt/worried about it. We started talking about it though and Laurie said something about "If I were in this position, I know that I would be very angry at you for a lot of reasons, it would be a hard step to take to actually talk to you." And then I thought about it and realized, well, she's 18... People at this age are at the stage where they are pulling away from their parents, not getting to know them and re-kindling relations. It's got to be really wierd.
I don't know why, but it made me really sad. I want to meet my sister. I want to get to talk to her. I really, really want to have that relationship that siblings have. But I feel like that's lost, like it's too late, and that makes me really sad, too.
Then I was sitting here at the computer earlier today and saw a picture upside down, so I turned it over and it was my uncle. It was taken in September. He looks so different. Jail hasn't been that good on him. He's totally bald and... well, I guess it doesn't really matter to anyone, so I won't go into how much he's changed.... but it's a lot.
It made me really sad, too. Because it's only been a year, not even that, since his jail sentencing. And he's got another 13-14 years to go. I feel so bad for him. I feel so guilty for not writing to him, not sending him pictures. I told him I would. So why haven't I?
Then I think about it... Why haven't I written letters to any of you guys? God, I'm losing it. I'm losing everything I had in WA, and I haven't got much here in MT. I feel like I don't really belong anywhere. I am so upset right now, and there's nothing I can say or do to fix it.
I hear how much stuff at Liberty has changed. I feel like I'm not there for my best friend when I can tell that she really needs me. I'm sorry Tina, I wish to god that I could be there for you. I want to be there for you more than anything. I want everything to be better. I want you to be happy. I want everything to be like it was last june. Do you remember everything we did?