If more is asked of you if you have the strength, even to the point of the asker admitting they ask more than they could do, what is the point in developing strength
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Well, it is possible to become a conglomerate of lowest common denominators, however, you would turn into John Howard.
Lachlan, it frightens me to hear you defining yourself through others values. Surely the company of others is only valuable if it doesn't destroy your sense of self. Wouldn't it make more sense to change your company, not yourself?
If it's acceptance that you crave becoming someone/something else may not be the answer. Perhaps people who respect each other should educate each other on their own ideals and the reasoning behind them. Then you can treat people with such different values that they will damage you with appropriate caution.
Hmm, not 100% sure but I think I understand what your comment refers to - if I have made a mistake please feel free to correct me.
If you imply that I am a brittle extremist who would sooner isolate herself than subject herself to the pain of human contact you are probably correct (I am the worlds biggest bridge burner), however, I am not suggesting that course of action to Lachlan or anyone I care for. Perhaps my wording wasn't as carefully chosen as it should be (I'm typing at work between iterations of my program so I'm a little distracted, I don't usually do this but I felt this post needed a reply).
Perhaps instead of saying
>Wouldn't it make more sense to change your company, not yourself%
No, no, Lachlan's words frighten me as you said. I would that he is careful with himself. By saying they are not just pretty words, I was only saying that I meant what I was saying. What you said, random_llama, was great. I was not writing to you, but to Lachlan.
(oops something odd seems to have happened to my reply) Perhaps instead of saying
>Wouldn't it make more sense to change your company, not yourself?
I should have said that there is a difference between logical growth or advancement and forcing oneself into a premade mold. Ideals that one person may have adopted to survive in a particular environment may not suit you or your environment. Thus to absorb these values to gain acceptance from that person not only takes away your ability to deal with your own (mental) situation but may also take away the uniqueness that friends found so dear in the first place. If a person insists (by words or implies by action) that you adopt a set of values that are not your own and of no use to you then such a person may be damaging and needs to be treated with caution.
Lachlan, it frightens me to hear you defining yourself through others values. Surely the company of others is only valuable if it doesn't destroy your sense of self. Wouldn't it make more sense to change your company, not yourself?
If it's acceptance that you crave becoming someone/something else may not be the answer. Perhaps people who respect each other should educate each other on their own ideals and the reasoning behind them. Then you can treat people with such different values that they will damage you with appropriate caution.
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If you imply that I am a brittle extremist who would sooner isolate herself than subject herself to the pain of human contact you are probably correct (I am the worlds biggest bridge burner), however, I am not suggesting that course of action to Lachlan or anyone I care for. Perhaps my wording wasn't as carefully chosen as it should be (I'm typing at work between iterations of my program so I'm a little distracted, I don't usually do this but I felt this post needed a reply).
Perhaps instead of saying
>Wouldn't it make more sense to change your company, not yourself%
Reply
Reply
Perhaps instead of saying
>Wouldn't it make more sense to change your company, not yourself?
I should have said that there is a difference between logical growth or advancement and forcing oneself into a premade mold. Ideals that one person may have adopted to survive in a particular environment may not suit you or your environment. Thus to absorb these values to gain acceptance from that person not only takes away your ability to deal with your own (mental) situation but may also take away the uniqueness that friends found so dear in the first place.
If a person insists (by words or implies by action) that you adopt a set of values that are not your own and of no use to you then such a person may be damaging and needs to be treated with caution.
Reply
Reply
btw nice website:)
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being able to compromise is important for any relationship, be it professional or personal
i have learned a great deal from being prepared to compromise what i thought was an unassailable ideal and benefited from it.
i am cautious, although usually i rely on my ability to change _back_ to rescue me from trusting too much and believing too readily
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