(Untitled)

[anothertwilight]

Comments

[glittalogik]

if you don't already have it, get yourself a copy on On The Outside by Sheryl Crow. It's a good one to put on when you're in this sort of space.

[gwyryon]

There is something good that can come of this. In our old gaming group was a guy who was incredibly kind. He always made certain everyone was included, in activities, in conversations, in decisions. He stunned me. I try, but he was much better at it. And yes, it came of knowing exactly what it was like to be "outside looking in" and not wanting others to have to endure it. The thing is, without the Knowledge, even though it is terrible, the kindness and awareness cannot be born

[anothertwilight]

The only thing that can make sense of pain is if some growth can be had, some lesson learned. I am trying to find that here. Whether this is simply another dip int he brain chem and a distorted view of the world, or an even tempered assessment of a situation, I am trying to find what I can take with me from this place.

The suggestion to organise things is well recieved. I had planned to try and start a semi-regular anime night (starting with Comboy Bebop *smile*) but recent events have placed me in a financial situation where that will have to wait a few weeks, yet. I too have a game that I am vaguely working on between bouts with the Black Dog. Thank you, the encouragment to pursue these helps.

Crucible - forge, our terms differ but the result is the same. Transformation, change. It changes the nature of the struggle from simple survival to growth.

Thank you for your words, and thank you for the invitation.

[wiretrippa]

You have a game?
*grin*
Well, at least this means I don't have to nudge you and tell you to write something.
Excellent, excellent.

[wiretrippa]

Being on the outside sometimes feels like a blessing. You have that feeling of 'I can be objective here', you have a feeling of overview and universal reference, you are above and beyond the seemingly trivial iniquities of life.
Then there's the downside.
So don your wandering gear, grab your weapon of choice, and start a new journey. The destination may be new or old, the path may be beaten or over-grown with brush, but you will walk it.
You once told me that enlightenment is not a destination but a journey. Perhaps it is many journeys, with rest stops along the way. Some people grow tired of the trek or simply find peace with the leagues they have travelled and make their home in these places. Stop there with them if you wish and share tales. Hell, if their way to the shared point was more interesting than yours then consider back-tracking for a few days.
May you never completely stop old friend. And at the rest stop, my fire will always burn for you to warm yourself by.

[anothertwilight]

At the moment, I feel as though I am in a place I had left many years ago. I hope that this is simply becasue the view looks familiar, that my journey has led me 'round th emountain and upwards, and I stand higher, now, than before and that while my total distance from that place may be slight, I have not simply travelled in circles. 'Til I can be sure, I do not wish to simply travel, lest I find myself repeating a cycle that will see me back here in years to come.

Perhaps I am where I was. If so, it would be well to choose a different path as I know where this one leads. I am not stopped, but I need time to reflect, to work out which way 'forward' is.

[zenkatydid]

Even your words sound out of sorts :( I was in a similar place, as you know, maybe 6 months ago. Without any goal-specific actions on my behalf, I simply came into a different circle (partner, house, study, etc) in which I feel much more at home. I don't know how to give 'instructions' on how to do this, but maybe that would be a solution. Even small changes, I've found, are sometimes all you need to make the whole picture look a whole lot better. My advice - make a new friend.

[anothertwilight]

Making friends is not something I find easy, although I know full well the worth of doing so. I am trying to reflect on how I view friends, how I treat them and how I let them treat me. In truth 'make a new friend' lies at the heart of the problem.

why?

[anonymous]

If being on the outside looking in is such a fight, wiht loss and pain, why do you choose to be there?

Re: why?

[anothertwilight]

Without a name or much else by way of context, I am going to have to treat this at face value

Re: why? Answer...

[anonymous]

a) You can't choose something different until you have sucked every last drop of pain from your current place.
b) You can't make a decision and are stalling for time (and maybe sympathy or pity).
c) To mis-quote "You don't yet know why you arrived in Spain, simply leaving does not help avoid Spain in the future." More bullshit excuses. Simply leaving does help you avoid it right now, does assist you knowing where you really want to go, and has nothing to do with making reduction of pain your primary motive...

Re: why? Answer...

[anothertwilight]

>a) You can't choose something different until you have sucked every last drop of pain from your current place